The Babysitter ≫ lashton

twenty four

Literally in an updating mood so double (possibly triple ;DD ) update! It's unedited so don't judge me.

Qotc; do you have any siblings? If so, how many? I have 3 siblings :)) that :)) I :)) want :)) to :)) stab :))

june 2016

update: i still want to stab them 

If I was being completely honest, I was nervous to sleep in the same bed as Ashton. What if us being in the same bed leads to something more then just kissing? I barely have any experience with that, so if we went further I'd feel like an idiot because I wouldn't know what to do.

I would make a complete fool out of myself and embarrass myself so much I would never want to show my face in front of Ashton ever again.

Why was I thinking this right now? It was only ten after six; nowhere near going to bed. We were both in the small library, skimming through all the books to see if we knew any of them.

"What is this?" Ashton asks, referring to a large box in the corner of the room.

I shrug, "I don't know."

I open the box and smile small at the old guitar. I hadn't played it in a few years. I pull the guitar case out of the box and place it carefully on the ground.

"You play guitar?" Ashton asks and I nod. I clicked open the small buckles and opened the case, revealing my acoustic guitar that my aunt had given me for my middle school graduation.

"Can you play something for me?" He asks and I shake my head.

"I'm rusty. I haven't played it in a couple years."

"Oh come on, you must remember at least one song or something." He encourages with a wide smile.

"Fine," I bite down on my bottom lip and place the guitar in the correct position before blowing the dust off. "What should I play?"

"I don't know." He shrugs. "Just pick something."

I sit there in thought for a whole two minutes before beginning to strum the guitar, softly singing the lyrics to Lego House by Ed Sheeran. It was the first song I had covered when I first for the guitar.

I felt a little shy and insecure, playing and singing in front of Ashton. What if he thought I was horrible? Oh my god.

I abruptly stopped playing and send him a half smile. "Yeah, that's some of it."

"I liked it." He smiles. "You're talented, Luke; In singing and playing guitar."

"Thanks." I chew on my bottom lip as my eyes scanned over all the books on the shelves before I stop on Ashton. "What about you?"

"What about me?" Ashton asks, taken back from the question.

"Do you sing or play any instruments?"

"I play drums." He shrugs. "My parents bought me a drum set, but I don't use it very often. I haven't used it since you started watching Harry."

"Why not?" I frown. "I want to hear you play."

"When we get home." He nods. "I'll play for you since you played for me."

"Good." I smile. There was a small silence between us and I didn't mind it. We just simply stared at each other.

I took the opportunity to take in Ashton's features. A bit of sweat rested on his forehead just beneath the bandana he wore, but it was cute. He still hadn't changed out of his jizz stained black skinny jeans and he had on a tank, showing off his muscles and it was a major turn on. He completed his look with the original converse on his feet.

I couldn't help but shift my body closer to his, leaning in to kiss him. For some reason that was all I wanted to do lately. I just wanted to be close to Ashton and be kissing him. He was an amazing kisser, but that was probably from all the experience he has had. It hurt to know that he's made out and had sex with tons of girls; half the senior class if we're being precise. I mean, I would be the first guy, but it's not the same.

If Ashton and I get far enough, he'll be my first. I'll just be his hundredth. And it hurt to think about it to much.

I quickly pulled away and Ashton frowns at me. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No." I shake my head quickly. "I just-" I didn't even finish my sentence and I stood up, heading towards the door.

"Luke," Ashton is quick on his feet and grabs my wrist, stopping me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Ash." I keep my gaze on the floor and my eye sight begins to get blurry. "I just need to be alone right now."

"What did I do?" He asks desperately. "Please tell me."

"Nothing." I mutter once again, squeezing my eyes shut so the tears wouldn't fall. "Please let go of me."

He quickly lets to of my wrist and I quickly make my way into the bathroom, shutting the door and locking it. Ashton was there in seconds knocking on the door and it made my chest hurt even more.

I walked over to the farthest corner from the door and sat down, burying my head in my knees as I pulled them up to my chest.

And I did something that I never fully did since my dad left.

I cried.

Yeah, I cried when my mom kicked me out. But not as bad as when my dad left.

And not as bad as now.

Why was I getting so worked up over this? Ashton liked me as much as I liked him. I shouldn't be freaking out about this.

Ashton likes me.

He likes me.

Why do I have to keep convincing myself that?