The secret

Chapter 42

Joel: Well at least we have to try. I'll talk to the guys and the girls. We'll figure something out. I promise.

Lizeth: Joey. Don't make promises that you can't keep and don't get into trouble because of me. I'll be fine. It's okay. -I reassure him that I will be fine.- I have to go, my mom is waiting for me. Bye. -I give him a kiss and walk away with Marcus by my side.-

Marcus: I can see if I could do anything to help you out. I can talk to Mr. Sharp.

Lizeth: No Marcus I'll be fine. -I keep saying that I'll be fine to not worry people but I think that I just keep on saying it so that it can maybe sink in and make myself belive it-

Marcus: I think that you just don't want anyone to help. I don't think that you want to be saved.- He points out-

Lizeth: It's not worth it plus I don't want people to get in trouble over me. I've done so much damage already. Everyone I touch gets hurt and it's not that I don't want to it's that I don't think I can be saved. - I reply with a sad tone-

Marcus: Well I will at least try.

Lizeth: You just met me. How do you know if I'm telling the truth? I could be lying and you could be helping a guilty person. -

Marcus: I can see it in your eyes, you are different. Guilty people are much different. They usually try to act innocent and say that they are. But you. You are different. A good different. You actually care and you don't want people to help you because you don't want them to get hurt. -He says. He believes in me. WOW. Another person that I don't want to let down.-

Lizeth: Thank you! -I give him a light smile-

We walked in silence and it wasn't an awkward silence. We walked untill we saw my mom waiting for me.

Marcus: Here.- He hands me a white card with his information on it.- Call me if you ever need anything. Anything at all or you just want to talk. Or even hang. -he chuckles and I do too.- I'm a friend and I'm always available.

Lizeth: Thank you! -I smile and walk towards my mom.-

We walked out of the building without saying a word. I was sad and upset. I didn't know if she was mad at me or dissapointed. It scared me that she didn't say anything especially since she always has something to say.. The car was silent and it got to a point where it became awkward.

Lizeth: Porfavor dime algo! No soporto el silencio. -I whine in sadness-

Mom: Que quieres que té diga?

Lizeth: No se lo que sea grítame o algo. Y te quiero decir que yo no hice nada. You know that right? -I asked but she didn't respond which let me know that she did think I did that to her. -Wait you actually think I did that to her? wow! Huh. -I said while my eyes filled with tears up to the point were my vision became blurry. I just looked out the window the whole car ride.-

We got home and I was running up to my room in tears when she stopped me.

Mom: No quiero que esto termine así. Háblame. Porque?

Lizeth: Why what? -I asked while sobbing- You obviously think I did that to a human being and I don't think I will be able to change your mind. Why try? I've been through so much if you haven't noticed and I've tried to fix my life. After what happed with dad it's like everyone sees me in a new way. Once they think that I did something as horrible as this it's really hard to try to convince them otherwise. I can't keep doing this, mom. I'm weak and vulnerable -I continue to sob- I've always been that way and I just wish that I could leave my past behind.-

Mom: Honey, I...- She began to say-

Lizeth: No, leave me alone! -I yelled while running to my room in tears.-

I locked myself in my room and I just continued to sob. Everything has been so hard lately. Today totally destroyed me. My mom actually believes I did that to her. For a brief moment I actually thought of what would happen if I no longer was here in this world anymore. I didn't want to live with this pain that follows me around everywhere. I can't believe I actually thought of taking my life again. It just came to me. I hated this feeling. Then Joel came to my mind. He is the only one keeping me somewhat stable and alive. I was still laying in my bed sobbing when I drifted into a deep sleep.

I woke up the next morning and got ready for the day even though I didn't want to. I wasn't going anywhere but I just felt like it. I walked downstairs and saw Zabdiel in the kitchen table eating breakfast.

Lizeth: Good morning, Zabdi! -I say with a somewhat fake smile-

Zabdiel: Umm good morning, I guess. - He said not sounding like himself.-

Lizeth: Are you okay?

Zabdiel: Yea I'm fine? Why wouldn't I be? -He said kind of coldly. -You're the one who's acting weird.

Lizeth: What are you talking about?

Zabdiel: Nothing never mind. -He said rolling his eyes.-

Lizeth: Ok then... umm tell Joel that I will call him later okay? -I yelled as he was walking out the door.-

Zabdiel: Are you for real? So what, first you beat up his girlfriend and now you are gonna continue to try to make him fall in love with you. You are so ughh I don't even have a word to describe you.

Lizeth: What the hell are you talking about?

Zabdiel: Stop playing innocent. It's just me. -He said in a really hash way and walked out the door.-

What the hell is happening? Tears were rolling done my eyes. Why would he say that to me? I don't understand. I grabbed my phone and dialed Joel's number but no answer then I dialed Veronica's.

Veronica: Hello?

Lizeth: Hey V! Sorry to call you so early it's juts it's been a hard morning.

Veronica: Lizeth?

Lizeth: Yea?

Veronica: I can't belive you! Leave us alone, bitch! I swear if you touch even a hair on Rebecca's head, I will come for you. -She harshly said and hung up.-

Tears came down harder and I didn't know what to do. I have to find out what is happening. I called an Uber to take me to school. I have to figure this out. I need to talk to Joel. I got there before the bell rang and luckily I was able to catch Joel before he went in.

Lizeth: Joel! -I yelled but he didn't stop.- Joel!- I yelled again then he stopped and turned.-

Joel: What the hell do you want, Lizeth? I don't have time for your stupid games!

Lizeth: What are you talking about? -I asked totally confused-

Joel: Look, like I said, I don't have time for this.

Lizeth: Well then make time! -I yelled-

Joel: What? What are you even doing here? If you even come close to Rebecca I swear...! You know, I wish you had actually killed yourself and that Zabdiel hadn't saved you. Life would be so much easier without you here. -He exclaimed and every part of me broke. I couldn't belive what I was hearing. I thought he loved me. And all of a sudden I didn't want to be alive anymore.-

As soon as he said that I turned around and walking away while sobbing. Every part of me hurt. The person that I love the most in this world just told me that he wished I wasn't alive. All I wanted to do was die. I walked to the beach where me and Joel went on our first date. I sat by the rocks and continued to sob.-

Joel: Lizeth? Wake up! -I heard him say-

Then all of a sudden I woke up in my bed with Joel right in front of me. I felt sweat coming down my forehead. It was just a nightmare. Just a bad dream. I stood up quickly and wrapped my arms around him. I felt his wrap around my waist. Then I signed in relief and hugged him even tighter.

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August 16, 2018✨

Hello everyone! This chapter was kinda depressing to write especially since it's been a long day but there it is!😅 I hope you enjoyed it.

Love y'all!💞