Touch; Ticci Toby X Reader

C. 04

"Hello Y/N. I apologize for the restraints, it was required because of...past physical assaults," She explains, "You may call me Joanne or Ms. Michelle.

She smiles, it was forced and looked almost painful. Her mouth was pulled back in a forced smile, her pink lips looked vibrant against her pale skin, "It's nice to meet you."

***

With an expressionless face, Y/N continued to just stare at the young woman with cold eyes. The vibes she was getting from her were very unsettling, she felt full of dread.

Her eyes glazed over with burning anger as she plays over different scenarios in her mind of what she would do to Joanne if she didn't have restraints.

Joanne shuffles a little in her seat nervously before clearing her throat and continuing, "I would like to help you get better. Don't you want to get out if here? I may come off rude when I say this but... I will not give up like the other therapists. I want to help you, I really do. So please cooperate with me."She speaks up sincerely, dark brown eyes looking down at her.

Y/N scoffs at her and begins to speak after years of being silent. Her thoughts break through the wall she created, words tumble out, "That's what the last one said."She starts, the sound of her voice was strange. No longer did she sound like a young, troubled girl. She sounded grown, aged. "Until I almost scratched his eyes out."

Joanne studied her baffled, speechless. No longer did Y/N feel treated by the small woman. She could do harm to her even with restraints. By scaring her, making her regret ever coming here.

Y/N speaks up again, "Let me guess, this is your first year as a therapist. You just got a job here, wanted to impress the others so you took on the violent one, the one who refused to listen, to speak and wanted to show everyone you could 'fix me'. To fix the crazy girl. Well, guess what? You will only give up like everyone else, each one thinking they could do it. Give up now so you don't waste your time as well as mine."

Joanne looks at her with a startled, hard expression. She quickly leaves the room, her heels echoing behind her.

***

Y/N wakes up on her bed the next day, not remembering or caring how she got there. She trembles slightly, her eyes depths with emotion. Why were they suddenly interested in her? She had tried to show she wasn't intimidated by Joanne. Yet pretending it didn't bother didn't work when she was alone. That facade has been torn down. No longer did she feel so confident, instead she was wary.

She takes notice of the man by the window again, his fingers twitching against the glass. She wants to ask him why he was gone for so long, why he left her alone but she couldn't. She could only spare him a glance. Words would fall deaf to ears.

With a small sigh, she grabs her notebook and nearly useless pen from inside her pillowcase and stares at them for a minute. She changes her mind, deciding to abandon the little effort it takes to write things down. She stuffs it back inside her pillowcase.

Plopping down on her bed, she rolls to her side facing the window and meets the eyes of the unknown man. Anyone would find his appearance strange and terrifying. Though, seeing him never did make her cower away.

Y/N wasn't uncomfortable to the point of using her pillow anymore... but it still wasn't a reassuring, nice feeling.

She looks through her eyelashes up at the man with curious eyes and slightly parted lips as she pondered to herself. Why did he come here anyway?

Thinking of answers left her frustrated so she stops to think of something else relevant.

She wants to know his eye color, she tries to imagine the color beneath his circled goggles. It's impossible.

His nose is cherry red, along with the small glimpse of his cheeks uncovered. She just now realized it was raining outside yet he still came here. She tried to feel bad for the man but couldn't. He's lucky, he can actually feel the cold of the rain. He could brush his fingers against trees and leaves. She only felt envy.

Y/N didn't notice it before but there was blood on his hoodie. Staining it a dark, dark red. Her eyes widen, anxiety and memories flooding her.

Y/N felt the panic begin like a cluster of sparks plugging in her abdomen. Tension grew in her face and limbs, her mind replaying the images of her dead family. Her breathing became more rapid, more shallow.

In seconds she was curled tight in her bed, her only movement the trembling of her limbs and salty tears darkening her white sheets. When did she start crying?

The man stayed with her, his hands pressed to the thick glass panel...maybe as if a way to attempt to comfort her. It didn't help much, but knowing a presence near warmed her a bit.

The thoughts were accelerating inside her head. She wants them to slow so she can take a moment to breathe but they won't. Her breaths come in small, quiet gasps and she feels like she will black out any second.

Y/N's heart is hammering inside her chest like it belongs to a rabbit running for its skin from a predator. She hates it, this feeling. These attacks.

The room spins and she feels so sick. The room is spinning and... -..blackness...

***

Y/N found the feelings had passed when her eyes open to the softening sun, she gazed at the clouds, brilliant white against the gray tinted sky. The sky was never a boring, dull sight. Something was different every day, whether it be the color of blue or the clouds. She always found it beautiful.

The man was no longer there. Why does he even waste his time coming here?

The door opens so suddenly that Y/N's heart forgets to beat. Her thoughts halting.

It's Joanne. There's a dimple on both sides of her cheeks when she smiles. She wants to deny that it wasn't a true, kind smile but can't.

This woman does not give up. Her persistence was clearly made known to Y/N. And she hates it.