"Lifeless. I had no thoughts, no visions, I didn't move. Just, dead."// In which boyband member Zach Herron must face torments, find himself, and also fight for his young requited love.
completed: december 25th, 2018
thank you again to @happyforherr...
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I've managed to survive a whole week without... her. Saying or even thinking her name hurts my soul, so I try my best to avoid it. She blocked all of our numbers and social medias, any contact with her is nonexistent. Jack has had hoes in and out of the house and it's getting really old hearing him have sex every single night with a different girl. Meanwhile, everytime I see Corbyn he's either bawling his eyes out or staring at a wall, his appearance so lifeless. I haven't seen Daniel smile once and all Jonah does is cook food and try to convince us to speak to one another.
I guess what's driving me to insanity is that I haven't spoken or eaten at all. I've only drank water and very little. I haven't gotten very much sleep, only the first night when I cried myself to sleep. Otherwise, I haven't rested long nor cried again. I can't. I physically cannot cry or eat, it all hurts me too much and I don't have an appetite.
"Zach," I hear from the doorway. I look over to see Jonah with the same glass full of water he brings me everyday. I never actually finish it. I just nod at the tall brunette as he walks over to my desk and sets it down. I'm sitting up in bed, wondering what it was like for April when she was kidnapped. "Please, at least eat something today," Jonah begs, sitting down at the edge of the queen sized bed. I give him my attention and really distinguish him. He hasn't shaved, none of us have, his stubble surrounding his face. The usually rich, silky brown hair on his head is a greasy mess like mine. His eyes are bloodshot, like the rest of ours and he looks a lot paler.
I shake my head, but right as I do, the awful ache in my stomach intensifies. I feel it coming up and quickly run to the bathroom connected to my room. I don't even feel how cold the tile is because my main trouble is the bile about to come up my throat. The seat is already lifted so I kneel as quickly as I can. As soon as my knees touch the ground, I shift my neck and the puke escapes my mouth briskly. It all comes hurling down like rain on an unforgiving night. It luckily doesn't come out of my nose, which I'm quite thankful for. I wipe my lips with my hand and sit back against the wall. Jonah runs in like Usain Bolt with water and a plate assorted with colorful fruits. I take the water and shake my head at the plate.
"Zach! I'm gonna call your fucking mom if you don't take the god damn fruit!" Jonah yells, his face turning beet red. None of our parents know about what's going on and I don't plan on telling mine for a while. I grow surprised, but I can't take it. Even after puking my guts out, I am not hungry at all. I shrug and Jonah literally kicks the wall. I only stare at him, my eyelids heavy from being so weak and not having enough sleep in my system. He storms out, leaving me to drink the water in excruciating pain seeing as my head is pounding, my stomach's aching, and the rest of my body needs energy and nutrients. But I can't do it. I can't do anything. I can't even keep the girl I love with me. It is so frustrating that I want to scream and cry, but I can't even do that. So I crawl back to my bed and stare at the wall, just thinking.
