"Lifeless. I had no thoughts, no visions, I didn't move. Just, dead."// In which boyband member Zach Herron must face torments, find himself, and also fight for his young requited love.
completed: december 25th, 2018
thank you again to @happyforherr...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
You don't exactly know you are asleep until you wake up. Unless, you realize you're having a dream, but even then, it's hard to recall having a dream once you awake. My eyes open and it feels like I had basically just blinked. It's foggy as bright lights wash into my eyes, leaving me with slightly worse vision, but something I wouldn't notice later on. It is really hard to even move my fingers, but I open my mouth at least to let out a noise.
"Thank goodness, Zach," I hear a female voice beside me.
Feeling incapable of moving my neck, I reply with a groggy voice, "A-April?"
There is silence before she speaks again, "It's.. umm, Bryana."
I groan subconsiously and turn weakly to find her brown eyes searching me for something. My breath hitches in my throat and I avoid her eyes from embarrassment. "What are you... doing here?" I ask finally.
She looks flustered, "Oh! Yes, sorry... Daniel and Corbyn went to get food..."
"Why am I here?" I ask, looking into her eyes because I manage to overcome this foolish nervousness.
Her cheeks grow a shade of pink and she coughs, "Well, you, uh, passed out.. a few hours ago.. The doctor's say that it's from malnutrition and also because Jack pummeled your fragile body. Apperantly, you may be getting diagnosed with... a depressive order," she tried to explain calmly, but she is slightly awkward.
I look away and fight with my tears, I'm Zach fucking Herron, what has gotten into me?
Bryana softly reaches for my hand, forcing me to look at her once more. I'm afraid, I'd only ever cried in front of the boys and April, apart from my family, "Zach... it's okay to cry," she whispers and that's when I can't hold it in any longer. Tears rush out of my eyes and pour down my face. Bryana lets go of my hand and scoots closer, wrapping her arms around my delicate figure. I let out out soft sobs and cry into the crook of her neck.
How is it that I just met this girl yet I'm undeniably comfortable with her? I ponder as she rubs my back to calm me.
Her perfume smells like a midnight breeze mixed with a scent that reminds me of the moonlight. After some minutes, we pull away and she wipes my tears, giving me a small smile. I swallow the lump in my throat and look down, "You're strong," she says, making me look up at her again. I give her a puzzled look and she continues, "You've been through more than anyone I know, yet I can tell you held that in for a very long period of time."
It hits me that that was the first time I've cried since April left. "Yeah," I whisper.
"So how's Jack..?" I ask the three that are eating chow mein, scattered around my hospital room. Daniel is so far not a huge fan of it, but I know he hates wasting food.
They peer at me awkwardly, "He's... alright," Daniel answers after swallowing. I raise an eyebrow at him, "Okay, we kind of sent him home..." My eyes widen at the blue eyed boy who merely shrugs, "David found out everything that was happening and, wow, he was not pleased," he continues.
"What about Jonah?" I ask. Corbyn and Daniel look at each other.
"He's threathening to l-leave the band.." Corbyn stutters.
I feel my mouth open as thoughts run through my head.
This couldn't be the end of Why Don't We, we have just started.
I shake my head, "No, guys. We have to convince him not to. Just because of a few stupid fights he wants to leave everything we've worked for?"
The boys nods and Bryana just looks down at her food, "We'll talk to him, Zach. But you need to eat well and sleep. Sleep a lot," Daniel scolds and I roll my eyes.
"Yes, mom," I smile and I hear Bryana laugh quietly. I grow confused because... I actually like the sound.
For the three more nights I stay at the hospital, I have continuous dreams of April which is no surprise to me. The surprising part is that I would talk to Bryana about them. I hadn't known her even a week and was already telling her things I wouldn't usually tell a soul.
Finally, the day comes where I get to leave the drat hospital room and go to my own, cozy bedroom. Bryana walks into my room and somehow, I see stars in her eyes. I feel like the room had been illuminated, just like my soul. "Hey, I filled out the paperwork! You are all set, Herron," she smiles and I can't help but smile back at her pretty brown eyes.
"Thank you, Bryana," I say before climbing out of the boring bed. She stands there, an expression on her face that I can't quite read. "What is it?" I finally ask.
"Say it again," she whispers. I give her a confused stare, also because I am lost in her eyes.
"What?" I croak.
"My-my name.. say it again."
I gaze at her, before saying, "Bryana... you're- you're kind of gorgeous," I say in a low voice.
She looks at me with an emotion I can't quite pinpoint. "Please don't play with me, Zach," she says softly. I burn in embarrassment. "I don't want to be your rebound.. Don't.. don't flirt with me if you're not ready for anything, because i don't have time for games."
I nod and she awkwardly walks out. I sit back down on the creaky hospital bed, what the hell just happened?
There's a knock on the doorway and my eyes soon meet Jonah's. I stand up immediately, "Hey."
"How are you doing?" he asks carefully, walking over and examining my face.
"The better question would be how are you doing? You want to.. you want to leave the band?! Jonah, what the hell? We have worked so fucking hard on this, how can you wanna throw it away?" I scold, crossing my arms.
He looks away, his chiseled jawline very defined when he clenches it, "We've had a lot of issues.."
"We can overcome them!" I yell.
"Not with April only tearing us apart!" he yells back, his glossy blue eyes meeting my own. My heart aches at the name and I look away, a lump forming in my throat. "I-I'm sorry, Zach. I just I-"
"I understand.." I cut off, "but she won't be a problem anymore." I look into his eyes, and realize that for once I may not be lying to myself.
