They don't understand. I want to talk to people. But every time I try, my heart races and I start to hyperventilate. No one knows, of course. Well, except a few close friends. Will I ever make a sound? Or stay a tongue-biter forever?
*WARNING* Sensi...
Okay I don't enough time or motivation to make an actual update so have this
1) School isn't bad or good so that's normal
2) Can I just have a boyfriend? Please?
3) I have a pet squirrel now so that's legit
4) I am an agnostic theist
5) I have come to the conclusion that I can't change who I am and I'm not gonna hide myself anymore. I don't know what sparked in my brain but I've been really confident the past few days ( minus my dysphoria) and it's just such a foreign feeling.
6) I've been really working on my art and my writing the past week. ( And procrastinating my actual schoolwork)
7) I think I have some type of learning problem because something isn't adding up and I don't feel right
8) I actually think I may be getting thinner which is a HUGE win
9) I'm having boy problems oof
10) I'm in art club. It's amazing and wonderful and it actually makes me happy. I'm gonna stop talking about this before I start ranting
11) Because I've been more confident/happy recently, when my depression has hit this week, it's been worse than ever and sucks even more.
12) I've been having a lot of nightmares and I don't know why
13) Geometry can kiss my ass
14) So can Biology, Geography, and Psychology
15) I'm thinking about making a statement and wearing a dress to homecoming if I go. Like I do feel more feminine, but I also want to pass as a guy. So I have to make the decision to make a statement and be proud of who I am or lay low and be safe. But with this sudden boost of confidence I've had, I think I'll be okay.
16) I GET TO HELP DECORATE HOMECOMING
I'm gonna stop here because I'm tired.
( 17. I've actually been going to sleep earlier and waking up less tired )
Night my little turtles. Love you guys ( and all others of course)
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