What I like about you

22

I open and close my mouth like a fish out of water, the inside dry. My eyes unblinking.

He sits, staring at me in fear as he bites his bottom lip.

"W-wha-what?" I shake my head, trying to think clearly.

Did I hear him right?

He drops his face in his hands, groaning out as he shakes his head.

I snap out of my shock, springing to action as I scoot closer to him than I was.

I take both of his hands in mine and bring them down from his face. Raising one of my hands up to lift his chin. A lone tear runs down his face, leaving a wet trail down the side of his cheek.

"Hey, Hey." I wipe the tear, letting my hand linger on his face.
"What happened?"

His face pales, eyes losing that spark that was there only a few moments ago. That beautiful smile gone.

He takes a deep breath, playing with his thumbs in his lap.

"I-It was when I was fourteen. I had a girlfriend when I lived back in California. She was so beautiful and amazing, I never thought that I'd love someone more. She was different and I liked that about her." He smiles.
"It was in the summer and we were at the park, she was mad at something that I said. So she started walking away. I tried to call her back and when I did, she was already in the street. She stopped and started yelling at me more, but I couldn't listen. I saw something in the corner of my eye. I-I tried to run and push her out of the way, but...it got to her first. The driver wasn't paying attention. When I got to her...she w-was gone." A few tears fall down his cheek, his eyes glossed over.

"What was her name?" I try to make my voice as soft and soothing as possible.

"Elaina."
He shakes his head violently.
"It should have been me. I shouldn't have made her mad. I-I should've been faster-" I stop him.

"It wasn't your fault, Blake." I place my hand on top of his, rubbing small circles with my thumb.

"Yes, it was. She would still be here if things were different."

"But things weren't different. Sometimes, things in life happen for a reason. Well, maybe not that. But, we don't have any control over them. You can't beat yourself up over something that wasn't your fault."

"But you don't understand, she got hit by that car because of me." His voice grows hoarse, his eyes full of sorrow and regret.

"You didn't push her in the middle of the street, Blake! It's not your fault that she happened to stop there, or that the driver wasn't paying attention. None of that was because of you!" I accidentally raise my voice, my breathing erratic as my frustration flows out.

He can't do this to himself.

Even if it was 3 years ago.

"I just wish that I was fast enough to push her away, I would've got hit, not her."

It breaks my heart to see him like this and just hearing him. He's so broken over it. But there's one thing that hurts me even more.

"But, then you wouldn't be...here." I look into his eyes, his head snapping up to look at me.
"I'm sorry, I know that you wish you saved her and that it's wrong for me to be selfish, but you're the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. I'm so sorry that you had to witness something like this happening and you blame yourself. And I know that whatever I say now won't make it any better because I wasn't there, but I'm here now." I rush it all out, feeling a few tears sting at the back of my eyes.

I hold my breath and bite my lip, waiting for his reaction.

The last thing I want to do is make him mad. I don't want to lose him. I wasn't lying when I said that he's the best thing that's happened to me.
He is.
Even if he's not mine.

He just stares at me, a blank expression on his face. I furrow my eyebrows as I look deep into his eyes.

Nothing.

His gaze is empty, no light in his eyes.

Then, he surprises me.

He quickly leans forward, wrapping both of his arms around my body. His face resting in the crook of my neck.

I sit still and stiff for a moment until I realize what's happening and hug him back. His arms tighten around me and pull me impossibly closer.
His vanilla scent engulfing my nose as I feel him relax against me. His breathing slowing down as my heart races in my chest.

Can he feel that?
Can he feel his effect on me?
The way my heart beats erratically when he's close and how my breaths become shallow?

The moment passes and he lets go, slowly moving away from me.
He grabs my hand in his, intertwining our fingers together.
An electric shock courses through where he touched, chills running down my spine.

"I'm sorry." He softly whispers.

"For what?" I dumbly ask.

"For telling you that sob story. I didn't mean for our day together to be all depressing and all. And I didn't mean for you to feel pity on me." He draws circles on the back of my hand, his eyes concentrated on the simple movements.

"Don't be sorry. It helped me know more about you...in a way I guess. And I wouldn't think of it as pity but more as a better understanding." I smile at him, his bright eyes meeting mine.

A smile grows on his face, that cute dimple carving into his left cheek again. The oceans in his eyes glowing and sparkling like a midnight fire.

The way he looks at me causes the butterflies in my stomach to flutter about. The chills continuing to run all throughout my body.

A simple smile can make me feel like this.

That one smile.

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A/N: Hey guys! Thank you so much for being patient with me. I know I've apologized a million times for updating late and I will again.

I'm sorry.

But, I hope you liked this chapter! I was trying to make it really emotional and worked hard on it. Thank you for reading and being great supporters!!

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~ Hayleigh 💕