Grey Clouds On The Horizon

Hello, Old Friend

Christian's POV

I was out of tears to cry and my sobs were dry. My stomach churned and I had to fight not to vomit on the linoleum floor. Mia took Sawyer's chair and managed to wrap both her arms around me into a smothering hug without moving me an inch. She ran her fingers through my hair and I wiped my dripping nose on the sleeve of her shirt.

Mia.

My Mia.

Before I had had anyone belong to me, be it Emilia, other submissives or Anastasia herself, I had Mia. When Grace and Carrick had brought her home they had told me she was my sister and it felt as if her presence in the world was all for me. Every giggle that erupted from her lips, every raspberry she blew, every crayon drawing she made had made me feel centered. At least centered enough to survive. In that moment I realized that Mia had been my life raft to make it through my perfect family as a profoundly destroyed individual. Mia had never looked at me as broken. She was so young. Mia had eyes that only saw the wonder and excitement in the world like Ana's had used to. I'd taken that joy from Anastasia and now she was going to die.

You'll kill her, Mr Grey. Just like you nearly killed me.

"Mia," I croaked. "don't ever leave me."

Her form stilled for a second before she continued petting my hair. "I'm not going anywhere, Christian."

"Never die." I commanded and let go of half the buzzer to hold one of her hands. I squeezed it tightly, probably too hard, and she pulled me closer. "Please never die."

Mia sniffled "I won't. I promise I won't."

It was an irrational demand, and an impossible promise for my sister to make, but she made it all the same. She meant what she said. Hope swelled in my chest. If Mia could make that promise without a second thought, maybe Anastasia could live.

Mia pulled her head up to look at me and kissed my forehead as if she was the older one who had to protected me. Her mascara had ran down her cheeks and she gave me a weak smile. Her wild black hair sat disheveled brushing her shoulders. "Do you trust Ana?"

She never let you down. I may have, but Ana didn't. You have no reason not to.

"Of course." I mumbled and it was true.

Certainty cemented on Mia's face. "Then you need to trust Ana to make it. Believe in Ana."

"It doesn't work like that."

"Christian, I don't know very much about marriage but I was at your wedding. Damn it, you are her husband." She stressed the last word painfully. "If you don't believe in her, who will? How can I trust Anastasia to live if you won't?"

There was no way Mia would understand. "I'm not worth the fight for her to come back to."

"Yes you are!"

I sighed with doubt and defeat. "You didn't see her. She was gone."

"I did see her." Mia argued. "I saw her when she was forcing food down her throat knowing it would come back up. I watched her be poked and prodded to keep her pregnancy. Fuck, I saw her waste to nothing and even when she couldn't stand she cradled her stomach. Even if you think that Ana won't live for you, which is wrong, we both know she will live for that baby. She's a good mom already."

She was right. Anastasia loved our blip more than I could have ever envisioned. When I'd proposed to her I'd told her that we could have children, many if she wanted, but even then I had no understanding of how much she'd love her own baby.