Grey Clouds On The Horizon

(Not) Okay

Christian's POV

In the interest of giving credit where credit was due, and despite their many differences, it took exactly seventeen seconds for both Emilia and Ana to simultaneously pick their jaws up off of the floor and begin protesting.

"Mr Grey, this is ridicu-"

"That's not even le-"

"You don't need to do that for Del-"

"What will your fami-"

"She knows that you lov-"

"I don't even know what to th-"

"If I am a both-"

"All this time I thought you were just exagger-" 

"ENOUGH!" I slammed my fist on the table and waited for silence to fall over the room. "I heard what both of you want and did I say 'no' once? Did I protest? At any point did I tell you that you that your wishes were wrong or dismiss you? No. I didn't. I compromised. This is all I am asking for. I can support all things forgiven, a new submission contract, no submission contract, only a year of maternity leave despite all the evidence that more time is better, shorter days at work, and getting Delilah a cat which I honestly do not know why I agreed to because I am so allergic I will not be able to open my eyes in the morning. All I am asking for is for you two to give me this. Please."

Emilia was silent, staring at the fingers that she fiddled with in her lap so she could avoid looking in my direction. Meanwhile I watched Anastasia open her mouth, think better of what she had to say, close it and reopen it with another thought at least half a dozen times before she said a word. Then that was all she said. One. Single. Word.

"When?"

I let out a sigh to release the tension that was building in my head and out of the corner of my eye I watched Emilia dip her chin even lower as if she was trying to disappear. "After the baby is born and you feel more like yourself. The wedding will be here at the house and small. Just us and close family. It doesn't have to be big or flashy. No officiant or license, since all it will be legally is a commitment ceremony. That's what I need, an event signifying the commitment that all of us are making at this table."

Ana nodded in a floaty way that made me wonder if she was still following me. "Sounds to me like you're trying to do things my way, now."

She was right. The contract was about fact and gave me control, but a ceremony was about symbolism and was ruled by emotion. Still, I wanted it. I wanted to see Emilia in a white wedding dress while she walked down the aisle barefoot over rose petals. I wanted champagne toasts, dancing to her favorite song and a wedding night revealing white lingerie. I wanted all of the mushy and useless romance that Anastasia had taught me the beauty of. "It seems I've come around to your way of thinking."

"I guess you have." My wife gave me a tight smile that hid frustration and exhaustion. "I really want to sleep on this, Christian, like really really REALLY want to sleep on it,"

"Then sleep on it. Take all the time you need."

"-but that would be kind of pointless since I think I'm going to give the same answer either way."

I raised both eyebrows, surprised the response was so immediate. "Which is?"

Taking the pen and paper from me, Anastasia wrote down several lines on the bottom of our fifth sheet of paper and passed it back to me with surprisingly dry eyes. "Okay, that's my answer. As long as this is what you and Emilia need to keep our family together, then I can find a way to be okay with this."

On my other side, she still hadn't spoken, but was finally looking up towards the two of us. There was no expectation in her eyes like she was waiting for a question to be asked. Emilia knew it wouldn't be coming. I would not ask her permission to do what she had already said yes to years before in a hotel room full of candles. This was me coming to collect on that debt and I was going to take what was owed to me. She had promised if she couldn't make a marriage real, she would at the very least pretend.