The Life of Nikki Winston

Wrap Party

I spent most of the next few days getting caught up on work. I can't let this get in the way of my job. I lose my job and I won't be able to take care of myself. I can't put taking care of me on anyone else. I stepped out of the room fully dressed a few days later to find Unser checking in on Gemma in her office. Unser tried to suggest for us to go to a support group for victims of sexual assault. Gemma snapped on him before I could and he left. I startled right beside Gemma when Tig snuck in behind us. "Oh shit!"

"Fuck! Tig! Don't do that!" I shouted, clutching my hand over my chest to calm down my heart rate.

"Sorry. You okay?"

"We're fine, Tig. You just scared us." I replied. Gemma gave him the repo list for the day while I walked out, wanting to get somewhere where I could put my back to a wall and see everything around me.

Not long after I left, Gemma pulled me into the S.U.V. she was using and squealed out of the lot, headed to Caracara to help Luann calm down. When we pulled up to the building, Clay and Tig were right behind us. I walked in while Gemma and Clay argued. Tara came in behind me and called for Jax who was talking to one of the porn stars. The girl got smart with Tara and I marched up and pulled her away before Tara could punch her.

"Listen here, you little tart. I don't like her most times, but she has a claim to Jax and you don't. Watch your mouth or next time I'll hold you down while she breaks that pretty little face of yours. Understood?"I pushed her away after that and turned back to hear what Tara was so worried about. I followed after them when they rushed out. Shit. Clay was pounding on Gemma's S.U.V. and she was yelling at him. I ran up to her and carefully grabbed her arm to pull her away from him. "Gemma, calm down. Please." I whispered in her ear. Clay walked up behind us when we were walking away and tried to grab her. Gemma freaked out and it was all I could do not to start sobbing.

When we were done at Caracara, I went back to Opie's room to work. I miss my house. I ignored everything going on outside the door, booting up my laptop and getting some work done before I was interrupted again. About an hour into my work, Tara came in to get my pee for an HIV test. I peed in the cup, gave it back to her, and sent her back on her way. Even though she was helping me and I appreciated it, I didn't want to spend a whole lot of time with her. I went back to work for as long as i could stand to look at my computer.

Hours later, Opie came barging into the room demanding I get dressed for the wrap party at Caracara. Instead of arguing with him, I pulled on an outfit and climbed onto the back of Chibs' bike since Donna was riding with Ope. It took a lot of effort to keep my bare legs from being burned by the bike, and by the time we got there my hips were already aching. Most of the guys were having fun with the talent, so Donna and I got some drinks and sat on an empty couch while Opie and Jax sat in producers' chairs and talked.

"How've you been Don? You healing okay?" I asked, trying to keep myself focused.

"I'm okay. Opie's been acting real weird lately, though."

"He's just going through some shit after what happened to you. He'll calm down soon, I promise. But he needs you to show him you're gonna be alright for him to do that." I advised.

"I know. I've been trying. But he's been keeping his distance."

"Force him to spend some time with you and the kids. Make him see that you're not going anywhere and at the end of the day, he can always rely on you."

"How are things with you and Jax?" She changed the subject.

"He lied to me. Said Tara was leaving to go back to Chicago. She's still here. Tried to tell me I wouldn't be rebound pussy. He's been even more of a dick since everyone found out what happened while I was gone."

"I'm sorry, Nikki. I know that's tough on you. You two... I swear you were meant to be together but Tara keeps getting in the way."

"I don't think so, Donna. I think I fell for the wrong guy and my heart won't let go so I can meet the right one for me. Jax isn't the same man I fell in love with when we were younger. And Tara's never gonna let him go. She's got her claws in deep and if she leaves, she'll find a way to take him with her. I don't understand why I can't just let go of my love for him, I know I'll never be the one he really wants."

"Nikki, don't talk like that. Jax is stupid and blind, but when she leaves again he'll finally take his head out of his ass and see what's been in front of him this whole time." She tried to encourage me.

"I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, Donna, but I really don't think there's much you can say that will make it any better. I was rebound pussy last time, I almost was this time, and if she does leave he'll try to use me as rebound pussy then, because he knows I love him and he'll use that to his advantage. Then when someone better comes along he'll dump me on my ass for them. I won't go through that, Don. Not this time." I swore.

"Okay, Nik. Okay. Just try to relax tonight. I have a feeling we'll be staying here. Your ride's already drunk and nearly balls deep in the talent. Mine's getting drunk and soon he'll want to be like that, too."

"Donna, I love you, but don't ever tell me about your sex life with my brother, ever again. I'm gonna go see about sleeping in Luann's office. I know at least that door has a proper lock on it, and blinds." I told her, getting up to lock myself into the office.