All Of Me

Chapter 20

(I want to give a big birthday shout out to one of my first steady readers, Meridan Justice. Hope you have a happy 19th. Love you! :))

August

Things seemed to calm down a little when I started college classes. The first day was nerve racking, but it was more similar to high school that I had expected, as far as the classes. The work wasn't even much harder. It was more fun, because I actually wanted to do it.

It's been three weeks since that night at Tripp's house. We never addressed it, and we never labeled it. We just left it alone. I woke up the next morning and left without waking him up. He's been very busy with his new job at the paper, and I've been busy with college and getting used to night shift. It's the longest I've gone without seeing Tripp since my sister and I took my sweet 16 trip back to Texas three years ago. We stayed for a month, since school was out for the Summer.

I hadn't heard from my mother, and Paige never returned my phone call. I was beginning to think she agreed with my mother. Even though it didn't seem that way at graduation, I didn't know what mother was telling her behind closed doors. It's still weird that Paige wouldn't come to me before just believing whatever mother could be telling her. That wasn't like Paige.

I shook my head as if the thoughts would fly out of my ears, and poured myself some coffee, waiting for ore customers to serve. I still had an hour before official closing and Carly left half an hour before.

The bell rang over the door and I stood, expecting a customer, but seeing a very cheerful Carol.

"Hey," I smile and sip my coffee, sitting back down. She's carrying a mall shopping bag, and a big smile is spread across her chubby face. I raise an eyebrow and she sits the bag on the table and giggles as she lifts a pair of baby booties out of it. "My daughter is pregnant!" She basically squeals.

I smile and clap my hands. "That's so sweet." Is all I can think to say. I'm not good with stuff like this.

She goes on to tell me what a surprise it is, and how excited her daughter is, how she can't wait to meet her daughter's boyfriend, but he's wealthy, and too busy to meet up right now. I just smile and nod, listening. She shows me all the gender-neutral outfits she's just bought for her first grandchild.

As she carefully places all the items back into the bag, I glance down at my rather round little belly. 4 1/2 months along, and it was getting hard to hide. Not that I was ashamed, I just still wasn't sure how to react when people congratulated me.

I looked up and Carol was holding a small pair of booties out to me. Yellow, with bunnies along the sides. I'm surprised, but I take them. "You don't know what your baby is yet, do you?" She asks. I'm still in awe of the tiny shoes.

It'll be tiny enough to wear something this small?

I finally shake my head. She smiles and tells me I can go ahead and leave, that she will close up for me. I thank her, hug her for the booties, and walk out. Still carefully clutching them in my hands as I walk out and cross the small country road to my car.

The only thing I don't like about night shift, is going home alone at midnight.

As I crank it, I see headlights and look up to see Tripp's truck. He turns it off and jumps out, approaching my window. I roll the window down, and he leans down on his elbows. "What are you doing here?" I ask with a smile. He huffs, "I figured if I was ever going to see you again I'd have to catch you here!" He responds and I laugh.

"Can you come with me somewhere?" He bites his lip after the question. He only does that when he's nervous.

"I can, but what would be open this late?" I laugh a little.

He opens my door and holds out his hand. His best jeans, and white t-shirt, and most charming smile. He has a way of getting his way. I roll my eyes and help myself out of the car. "I was trying to help you out." He shakes his head. "I'm not that fat yet." I counter and he scoffs. "You are not fat. It's a bump, and it's c-" He stops and walks to his truck. I quickly jump in the truck and buckle in. "It's what?" I'm just plain curious now. He tries to hold back a smile, "Nothing. It's nothing."

I shake his arm. "Come on, tell meeeee." And he laughs, pulling his arm away and pulling out of the parking lot. "It's not bad." He finally says, but that isn't enough for me. "That isn't want you were going to say. It started with a C..?" I tease.

"Cute! Okay? It's cute!" Even in the moonlight spilling into the truck I can tell his face in red. I laugh, but not enough to embarrass him.

Why is there a tarp laying over the truck bed?

The radio sings low as he pulls off of the main road, and onto a dirt road that I've never been down before. I don't ask what we're doing, because he obviously had this planned.

I don't know what this is that's going on between Tripp and I, but I don't feel the need to stop it. And I don't want to read too much into it. He's probably just being extra spoiling because I'm going through so much.

He pulls off the dirt road, and drives a little ways into the open pasture. I laugh a little and raise a questioning brow to Tripp before he smiles and jumps out of the truck. I slowly open the door and step out, glad that I wore tennis shoes and not sandals. The grass is already collecting dew, and in need of a cut.

I walk around the truck, and see Tripp lowing the gate and pulling a tarp back, revealing a truck bed full of pillows and blankets. "The Truck Bed Inn is open at midnight." He winks and I laugh. He hops up into the bed of the truck and holds a hand out for me. I decide not to be stubborn and take it. He pulls me up and we both lay down in the blankets.

It's one of the clearest nights we've had in a while, and the stars are crystal clear.

Tripp grabs my arm and pulls me closer, so that I'm right beside him, under his arm. Neither of us speak for a while, and it's so peaceful.

"What happened the other night?" He finally speaks, and my heart skips a beat at the question.

"What night?" I know exactly what night he's referring to.

"You know. When we...kissed." He clears his throat.

I shrug. "I don't know." I really didn't. I was confused.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up." He runs a hand through his hair, the way he does when he's frustrated.

"No, it's okay." I say, cuddling closer from the night chill.

"I shouldn't have even done it." He thinks out loud.

He shouldn't have kissed me? He thought of it as a mistake? I probably made him feel like he had to because I was upset. I felt so dumb. I sat up and tucked my hair behind my ears. "I should probably get back home." I say, and he immediately sits up. "Are you okay?" He touches my back, and I stand. Jumping down out of the truck bed.

"Yeah, I just have to be up early." I half smile and walk back to the cab. Buckling in as he covers the bed with the tarp again.

He drove me back to the cafe and I didn't say anything but 'thanks', and he drove away. Tripp didn't have feelings for me that way, but it sure felt like he did when we kissed. Like there was a hunger behind it. Although I was out of my mind that night and probably imagined what I needed it to be for comfort.

I was such a fool to think that Tripp would ever think of me as anything more than just a friend. I needed to keep it that way. A baby doesn't need a life up in the air like that. It would be just me and my baby, and that was that.

Tripp was my best friend. Period. And it's apparent that he feels the exact same way. He doesn't need the responsibility of a baby either. His life is still going places. It's mine that's been put on hold.

I assume the position by my front door, sitting against it with my face in my hands, trying to make sense of my jumbled thoughts.

I do that ore often than not lately. One day everything would all make sense.

(I'm sure there are typos, but I will fix them later. I have errands to run. Don't forget to VOTE please!)