All Of Me

Chapter 34

I climbed into bed once I was sure I had no more tears to cry. I wanted my mother. The one that would read stories to Paige and I as little girls.

I wanted my father. If he were here, he would fix it all. Somehow, I don't know how, but he would.

I wrapped my arms around myself, and the sad reality sank in that there was no one who could help me. No one who could get me out of this mess. I had never felt more hopeless than I did in that moment, and that's when it hit me.

More than I wanted my mother, more than I wanted my father, I wanted Tripp more. Like a child, I wanted Tripp to take me in his arms and hold me until it all went away, and I would wake up from this terrible nightmare I had learned to call my life.

I was in and out of sleep all night, hating the desperate need I felt for Tripp. Longing. But I wasn't in love with Tripp, I was in love with the secure feeling he gave to me, because of the dependency I had developed over the years on Tripp.

Over the past four years, he had held me so many nights while I cried, he had been the one to know exactly what to say and do.

Clint's lies didn't hurt as much as I thought they would. And I knew why. Maybe part of me was glad it was Tripp instead. But part of me was scared, even though I came across angry at Bailar the previous night.

I was scared because Tripp was actually the knight. It was a hard emotion to explain, but nothing in my life was going the way I thought it would, and I was afraid to lose Tripp. Especially since I didn't know yet who Luke's father was. That might be too much for Tripp to handle, and I could lose him.

The next morning, I got up and forced myself to get ready for work. Dressing in just jeans and a hoodie, I threw my purse over my shoulder and crossed my arms across as chest as I walked down the stairs to my car.

I stuck the key in the ignition, and as a cherry on top of my double misery sundae, it refused to turn over, it only made sputtering noises.

I couldn't help the pathetic tears that fell from my eyes. I contemplated just staying in the car all day and wallowing in self-pity. I think I deserved a day of pity.

But instead, I shook my head and wiped the tears from my face as I pulled my cell phone from my purse. I dreaded what I was about to have to do, but maybe the universe was doing me a favor.

I dialed Tripp's number, and it rang four times before he finally answered. His sleepy voice came over the line, and I breathed a sigh of relief. "My car is broke down..." I tried to push through the awkwardness after the night before. "Give me about fifteen minutes. I'll be there."

I thanked him and he told me to wait in the house. I took my purse and keys and walked back up to my apartment. Luke hadn't moved much, it was still too early for him, but I wanted to feel him move. It seemed to put me at ease lately. Like I wasn't alone.

Minutes seemed like hours until I heard Tripp's truck pull into the parking lot. I checked out the window to make sue it was him before I opened the door and walked out. I slowly walked down the stairs, opened the passenger door and climbed in.

He didn't say anything as he backed out and got on the road. I fiddled with my fingers and cleared my throat, and he finally spoke. "You know what your problem is, Brooke?" His voice sounded harsh and I winced at how loud it sounded in the small cab.

When I didn't speak, he continued. "You hold onto the people that couldn't care less about you, but yet you push the ones away that actually love you. You try and try and keep people that don't care if you're around or not. Your mother for example,"

"My mother does care about-" "No. No, she doesn't Brooke. If your mother cared about you, you wouldn't have been pregnant and living on my couch. Stop making excuses for people that couldn't care less about you." He hit the steering wheel and I jumped.