All Of Me

Chapter 23

I decided that my tiny kitchen needed to be repainted, so I bought some paint. I was never one for sitting around watching TV, and I really didn't care what was going on on social media lately, so I started a project. I bought some royal purple paint, and got to work.

I opened all the windows, threw on some old sweat pants, and a t-shirt, and pulled my hair back. Saturday was my only day off right now, so I tried to enjoy it as best I could. The two new employees for Gracetown Cafe were nice guys, and Carly worked my night shift on Saturdays and Sundays now. It kept her from having to get out of the bed early, which she hated.

As I rolled the roller through the pan of purple and started to roll it onto my wall under the cabinets, I thought about Tripp. It had been about two weeks since that night in the truck bed, and I still hadn't seen him. I missed Tripp. I craved him, if we're being honest. To crave something or someone sounds so dramatic, but it's true. I missed being in his arms, but I couldn't force him to feel some way that he didn't. It wouldn't be right of me. And I couldn't use him like that. I was just looking for comfort, and I found that in Tripp.

I painted until just under the cabinets was done, and that took about two hours. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand just as my phone rang. I adored the finished product, and decided spontaneously to use the left over paint on the bathroom. That took a little longer, and it was almost five pm before I finished.

I left the window in the kitchen open, but closed the rest, and went to change clothes. The knock on the door stopped me in my tracks, and I jogged to it.

I almost swung it open, but remembering Tripp's lecture, looked through the peephole first. Speaking of Tripp.

I opened the door and he smiled, holding up a bag of my favorite Chinese take-out. "Bless you, Tripp. I'm starving." I laughed and walked down the hall to change as he sat the bag down on the table and began getting paper plates out of my cabinets.

I threw on some UGA sweatpants and a black shirt that was a little too small for my belly, but not too bad. Definitely making my tummy noticeable, though.

Tripp stopped and stared at my belly for a beat before handing me a plate and telling me I could have whatever I wanted from the few to-go boxes. I got some chicken fried rice and he pulled a movie from his coat. The latest super hero movie, he really is my best friend.

He put it in, and we sat down on the couch. It was dark before long, and he couldn't see me glancing over. He was in jeans, and a green t-shirt. His hair was a little messy, but it usually was.

He chewed thoughtfully and paid close attention to the movie, his eyes narrowed a little on the intense parts and I couldn't help but giggle quietly. I flashed back to that night at his house that seemed like months ago, but it had only been a few weeks. When he kissed me at the door of his room.

I eventually took both our plates to the kitchen and cleaned up a little before returning to the couch. It surprised me when he reached over and touched my elbow, pulling me closer, and I laid down, my head in his lap. It was awkward at first. I wasn't sure what to think, so I just didn't. I shut my mind off and gave in to how good it felt. How safe I felt to be close to him. He always made me feel this way.

But I couldn't help but think back to what he said in the truck a few weeks back. "Did I make you feel like you had to kiss me?" I ask before I can stop myself. I really want to know.

"What? No." He says simply. "What would make you think that?"

"Well, what you said the other night.." I begin to explain and he pats my head. "That isn't what I meant."

I wait for him to respond, but he doesn't. He pets my hair and I eventually fall asleep. He bounces his knee and says my name and I wake up to see the credits rolling. I sit straight up and apoligized for nothing.

He stands, and I panic. Every piece of me aches to be back in that safe place I was just in. I mentally scold myself for feeling so co-dependant, and stand as well to go put away all the food and trash. I glanced to see Tripp looking up at the wall in the living room where I hung the art and empty picture frames, at the picture of Luke.

Tripp had a small smile on his face, and his hands were stuffed into his pockets. "He has your nose." Tripp echoes my thoughts from the doctor yesterday, and I smile. "He's a pretty boy."

I start the water and rinse the plastic forks off underneath the stream. When I turn around, Tripp is right in front of me, and places his hands on either side of my body, pinning me against the sink.

My heart beats faster, and he leans in, leaving just a simple, soft kiss on my lips. "I could never regret kissing you." His words are quiet, meant only for he and I.

I'm confused by what he means by that. but I don't want to exhaust myself trying to figure it out, and I don't ask him. I raise up on my tip toes, and kiss him again. Which leads to another.

So familiar.

He pulls me into his arms until the bump Luke calls home for now presses against him. I feel Luke kick, and so does Tripp. He breaks the kiss and looks down, laughing. "He kicked me!" He exclaims, kneeling down and placing both hands on my tummy. "Don't you kick me, boy. You have to respect your elders." He speaks as if Luke can actually understand him.

He stands and walks toward the door. "I better go." He rubs his hand across his neck as usual, and I look for reasons for him to stay, unable to find any.

"You could stay.." I suggest, gesturing to the few movies I have on top of my TV.

He hesitates, but agrees to stay for a few more minutes. Which turned into a couple more hours.

He apologized for not talking much lately. Said he was working as much as he could, saving his money for something. He didn't say what, so i didn't pry.

By 11:30, we were talking nonsense and asking each other questions.

"Tell me about your first boyfriend." He says, sipping a Dr. Pepper.

"Well, his name was Caleb, and I was 14. My parents hated him, and we slept together right before my dad died. I've always regretted that. Said next time I had sex I'd be married to the poor sucker." I half-laughed and took a gulp of my own.

"Now look at me." I gesture to my large stomach. "Pregnant with his first grandchild, and no idea who the father is. I've been one disappointment after another to my father." I scoff at myself.

Tripp shakes his head and leans his elbows on his knees. "That isn't true. He'd be proud that you kept Luke. To raise him. He'd be very proud that you didn't take the easy way out and end Luke's life. He'd be proud that you have your own place. Paying your own bills. He'd be very proud. I know I am." I give Tripp a smile and wave him off, "Stop with your smooth talking." and chuckle. He shakes his head. "You make a cute pregnant woman." He admits and his cheeks flush. "That sounds rather sexist." I counter.

"Oh you know how I like mine. Barefoot and pregnant. But most of all, in the kitchen." He winks and sticks his tongue out at me. I giggle and roll my eyes.

How does he always manage to do that? To take a storm and make it peaceful? Make me feel so happy and somehow optimistic when there doesn't seem to be much to be optimistic about.

He left sometime during the night, and locked the door behind him. I never heard him leave, and woke up just in time to make it to work on time. I worked Carly's day shift on Sundays since there were no classes on Sunday.

I arrived at work, and shortly after, Clint walked in. I was surprised to see him, and greeted him with a smile. We talked about my work the other day, but I didn't expect to see him there.

He ordered some coffee, and we talked before the morning rush began.

He was good company, and came from a very wealthy family. He told me about a lunch they'd be having at their home next month and asked if I'd like to go. I agreed and he left with a wave, telling me I looked nice.

I glanced down at my shorts that I had to leave unbuttoned and long t-shirt to cover it, under a ridiculous apron, and snorted. He had clearly lost his glasses.