All Of Me

56

{One year and a half later}

A very wise man once told me that when you love someone, you don't love them for yourself. You love them for them. He told me that while the world loves with a selfish love, we should love with a self-less love. A love that causes you to hurt yourself to keep them from getting hurt. What's best for them, their needs, their wants, always come first. That's true love. That wise man was my father, and I never truly grasped the meaning of his words until I drove past Brooke's apartment one afternoon and it was left bare.

I loved Brooke with that type of love, and I loved her enough to know that she needed to heal. To get away from Gracetown. I loved her enough to know that Texas could give her something I could not at that time.

That hospital room was the last time I saw Brooke. I had heard from her very few times, once when she emailed me a picture of Luke at the hospital when he was born and told me his birth weight and length, 6lb 10oz, what color his eyes were, and etc.

He had a round face, perfectly shaped lips that he obviously got from his mother. Heck, anything perfect on the boy came from his mother. He was born with a head of Brooke's blonde hair, and blue eyes. He was so perfect and beautiful. I only wished I could've been there to hold him, if only once.

That was a year and a half now. I didn't realize until six months after Brooke left, that Gracetown wasn't the place for me either, and I signed up for the United States Army. My mother was devastated at first, but she had the same kind of love self-less love shown to her through my father, and she understood, probably more than I did, that I needed to get out.

I didn't know anything about Brooke really, aside from the basic facts. She was living in Galveston, Texas, population 47,000. Close to a beach, and she loved the fair they had each summer. She transferred from UGA to a small college near Galveston, and was finishing up her associates degree.

But, who was I kidding? All of me was in Texas. Every last piece. My Brooke, and my son. But I knew she was trying to get away from her past. I never tried to contact her first.

Until now.

"I'm being stationed in Texas?" I asked my superior officer when he handed me the orders across his desk in a Manila envelope.

I shook my head in utter disbelief; If life deals us the right cards, we'll end up back together. My mind replayed the words back to me that I had said a year and a half ago in a text to Brooke one of the only times I'd spoken to her since her leaving.

I was going to Texas.

#

Two weeks later, I found myself settling into the place I would call home for a while, a military base in Houston Texas. 53 minutes from Galveston, my mind was sure to remind me. I still hadn't told her I was in Texas. I was waiting for the right time. And by 'the right time', I mean 'when I had the guts'.

I looked at myself in the mirror hanging over the sink, and wondered if Brooke had changed as much as I had. I had seen pictures of Luke. Small, like Brooke, with light blond hair, and her same creamy skin tone, usually adorned in jeans and various super hero tees. But never a picture of Brooke. I wondered what her hair looked like, if she had tanned at all living near the beach.

My own reflection staring back at me was still me, just an older, more mature version. My hair was buzzed on the sides, and the top was pretty short itself. My body had toned, not like it had much option with all the training, and my forest green tee strained against the muscles in my upper arms. My mother told me my voice had deepened, and I was more tan, from all the time I spent training outside in basic training. It still hadn't faded much, even though that was a year ago. I ran a lot, lifted weights, anything to keep my mind busy and off of Brooke. But I mostly failed. I would find myself in my apartment on the base, crying like a child. Having to pull myself together just to get to work the next day.

Finally, I got up the guts to text her.

Brooke's POV

"I love you too, Carol. I'll call again soon. Goodbye." I smiled as if she could see me and swiped the screen of my phone, ending the call. Oh how I missed her. She sent me pictures often of Olivia and Brittany, who was now married to a very nice young man, and they owned a book store together right outside Gracetown.

I sometimes wished Gracetown wasn't so far away, so I could just drive up and see everyone, just for a little while.

My mother and Brian had a deluxe version wedding six months ago, and divorced a month later when she found him in bed with a woman half their age. I felt for her, but I somehow wish I was a mean enough person to say 'I told you so'. She often texted me asking for pictures of Luke, and would make small talk. As far as I knew, she was working as a waitress and completing a novel on the side.

I shook my head at how everything had changed as I picked up Hotwheels from the kitchen floor and carried them to Luke's room. His new car bed was a little big for the space, but he loved it. That's all that mattered. It was hard to believe he was already 1 1/2. He was growing up fast, and I found myself wishing often that Tripp could see it.

I didn't know much about him, other than he was in the military, and stationed in Virginia somewhere, repairing guns. He never emailed me aside from responding to my pictures of Luke, just saying he was as beautiful as he knew he'd be.

My phone dinged as I sat back down at the small breakfast nook in our kitchen and I opened the email.

'Hello Brooke. It's Tripp Sparks. I'd like to let you know I've been stationed not too far from where you live now. I'm in Houston. And I was just wondering if maybe you could spare some time to meet up sometime. If not, I understand. I'd just like to see you again. And meet Luke, if that's okay. Email me back as soon as you can.Yours truly, Tripp.'

"Paige!" I yelled, and my now 19 year old sister ran in the room quickly, with her nephew hanging from her hip in nothing but a diaper.

Along with the flood of memories the email brought, one of my sister in the hospital bed was among them. Her once short blond hair, now cascaded down her back and she had put on some weight, enough to look healthy. And as far as my doctor? She'd called him almost instantly when we landed in Texas and they now Skyped often. "What is it?" Her voice brought me back, and I remembered why my heart was pounding so heavily.

"He's here. In Texas." I said to the only person that remembered how I cried myself to sleep most nights the first six months after leaving Gracetown. Once Luke was born, I stayed fairly distracted, but would find myself occasionally wondering what it would be like if Tripp were there, like in that dream I'd had so long ago.

I read the email over and over until my heart was racing, and then I showed the email to Paige. I almost quit breathing, and I couldn't determine if it was dread I was feeling, or excitement.

Luke was in the kitchen on his tip toes trying to reach the jar of peanut butter and Paige began laughing insanely, "This is great!" Always the optimist these days. Although I guess she had her reasons to be. She was Skyping a hunky doctor when she should be dead.

"How is this great?" I tried to hold back a smile but quickly failed, "You know you wanna see him! Email him back right now and set something up or I'll do it for you!" She giggled and bounced up and down.

I pushed my long blond hair behind my ear, and realized just how different I looked since last time he'd seen me, and it made me anxious all the sudden. Like a young girl in high school again, even though I was almost 21. I pushed the feelings away and reminded myself that I was grown woman with a son that needed to take this seriously.

Paige took Luke down the hall to play in his room, and I typed my reply...

'Hello Tripp. I would like to see you as well. How's the fair at Galveston beach sound? Paige wanted to take Luke this year anyway.'

I pressed send.

Ping.

'Tonight?'

I took a deep breath and typed three words that made my heart almost combust,

'See you then.'