Starstruck | C.H

18. The actual truth

Sophia

I needed to know, why was Calum the way he is? Now was the moment, surely he knew it too. 

"Please will you tell me what happened now?" I said softly.

I studied his face, he breathed in deeply as I spoke those words and his eyes shut slowly as he processed my question. After a few seconds he breathed out and bit his lip as he opened his eyes and looked anywhere but me. He was uncomfortable right now. I put my hand on his lower arm and showed him that he could trust me. 

He looked at my hand ad then looked at me and nodded, "Okay, yeah, I'll tell you, walk with me." He said and shoved his hands in the pocket of his hoody and gestured for me to put my arm through his.

The air was much cooler on the beach and especially with the night getting later. 

After linking my arms with his Calum began to tell his story.

"So when I was sixteen and we were first recruited by One Direction, I had a girlfriend. Funnily enough her name was Sophie and I'm not even joking." He laughed softly as we began to stroll back along the beach. So now I know why he hated me so much when we first met.

"She was my best friend we did everything together and she was the one who pushed me to take this opportunity...we decided to take a pause on our relationship since we were young...we were kids. A few years later I reunited with her when we were eighteen. Her parents finally allowed her to join me on tour and honestly it was incredible to have her back. But her coming on tour with me, it unleashed this wild side in her and at first I loved it but then it took a turn for the worse." He said, I couldn't see his face properly but I could tell how he was hurting from the voice cracks and the sniffs.

 "We met these dodgy folks in one of the places we toured I can't quite remember where...it was a hectic summer. Anyways she started taking drugs and at first it was just harmless like weed but then it kept getting worse. One night we were at an after party for the last day of our tour, this was about two years ago, well we got into a fight." I think I knew where this was going from what I had already heard.

"I finally snapped at her and told her enough was enough and that I didn't want to be with her if she was going to act that way. I knew she wasn't really this person it was just the drugs doing it to her...well the fight got really heated and she stormed out we were in some city we had never been to before and...and...she stole someone's car from the party and she raced off into the night before I had time to stop her. The next morning the car was found about a mile off from the party completely smashed to bits from a tree...they said she died instantly. It was all my fault, I should never have let her go, I never should have argued with her and I should never have taken her on tour with me. I...I...I killed my girlfriend." By this point we had stopped walking and we were facing each other.

Calum was hunched over and was practically sobbing. His hand was covering his eyes like he was ashamed of himself and his shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. 

"Hey." I said softly. I took his arm and the one that he had to his face and squeezed his hands. "This was not your faulty." I said in a way that was stern but also sympathetic. He was still looking away from me. "Look at me." I put my hand on his cheek and he slowly turned his head. "Calum Hood, you did not do this. You did not kill your girlfriend. Please don't blame yourself."

He shook his head and looked up to stop the tears from falling. "Everyone keeps saying that but they don't know how it feels. It was me Soph--God do you know how much it hurts being around you!" He snapped, his mood changing instantly.

I stepped back, giving him room to breathe. "You practically have the same fucking name. You look like her god you even smell like her. It kills me spending time around you." His voice was getting louder and louder and he was getting closer to me each step he took.