Starstruck | C.H

33. Don't leave

Sophia

Listening to Ghost of You whilst packing my last few bits up, I really wasn't helping myself. I think I am all cried out anyway. When I got home yesterday, I locked myself in my bathroom and sobbed for about an hour straight.

Who would have thought I'd have gotten so attached to a boy in less than two months for him to have this much of an impact on my life. After crying in the bathroom, I cried myself to sleep. Then I woke up and cried again because it wasn't a nightmare, it was actually happening.

And now, here I am, sniffling to Ghost of You as I finished packing. Like I said, I wasn't helping myself.

This song has so much emotion though, the way Calum sings, he sounds so hurt in the song, makes me think that's how he's feeling right now. And it's my fault.

He looked so sad when I told him and then when I finally said goodbye, the last look he gave me. It's going to haunt me forever. His eyes look defeated, like he had truly given up and now all I'm praying for is that he won't spiral again.

The original plan was to never say bye and to carry on, but I think we would both find it too hard, the long distance. It would just be easier to forget about each other and move on. Here I am crying again, because the thought of never seeing him again. His goofy smile, and childish laugh, those soft brown eyes and damn it Sophia, why did you do this to yourself? You should never have gotten so attached. 

"Hey." Someone said as they knocked on my door slightly. 

I smiled sadly at my brother, "Hi." I replied.

Miles walked over to me and opened his arms, I sighed and gladly accepted his hug. Sometimes you just needed brotherly love. Even if we did argue constantly, I loved him nonetheless. 

"I knew he was gonna break your heart." He said pulling away.

I shook my head in defeat, "Honestly, I think it was me that broke his heart. I was the one who ended things." I perched onto the edge of the bed and something caught my eye on the floor. I frowned and bent down to pull the item from under the bed.

It was a t-shirt. And not mine, I turned it the right way round and when I realised what it was I quickly scrunched it up and hid it from my brother.

"You okay there?" Miles frowned.

"Yeah I'm great. Just gonna finish packing now." I said quickly.

He nodded slowly and started leaving the room, "Okay, well we're leaving in an hour." And with that he left.

I picked up the t-shirt again and put my face to it. And I got what I expected, it smelled of Calum. His aftershave with a slight hint of smoke and mint. It was a one of a kind smell. I smiled as the memories came rushing back to the day we first kissed in my room.

"I can't believe I just said that either, did I just ruin the moment?" I said, my cheeks burning up...wow how embarrassing.

"You could never," he smiled and he planted his lips on mine.

He pulled back and pulled his Led-Zeppelin shirt off over his head and it fell to the floor. And oh my god abs. Lot's of abs. 

I knew he was buff, like his arms showed that enough but oh my. And also, his tattoos were beautiful. My hand rested on his chest, my fingers tracing his tattoos with the Roman numerals. "What does this mean?" I asked, as Calum carried on planting kisses along my neck and collar bone.

"2012, when the band started, now stop talking and let me kiss you." He said and kissed my lips firmly stopping me from talking anymore. My hands wrapped around his neck and went into his hair, tugging at it slightly as the kiss deepened.