It All Started In Rehab ✓

-Chapter Fifty-Two] Crazy Mother

Chapter Fifty-Two – Crazy Mother
Julian's Pov

I didn't know how to feel about anything after I saw her, she was reading it and I obsessed for a couple days over it but I still don't know how I was really feeling about it. I tried hard to remember what I wrote in that notebook but I don't really remember, I know it wasn't good though and now she was reading it.

I know some of the things I wrote about her and I just hoped it didn't make her feel anymore insecure than she already did but I'm sure she will.

The thing that did help was her pushing me to do these auditions so I read the lines time and time again as I tried to get into character but only one of the characters really stuck with me, the other I could probably fake my way through.

One was a romance movie and I just had to think about her to do most of these scenes, to feel in love and the want to be with this fictional character while she's away and how amazing it feels to be with them when they're with me.

That, and I didn't really do sports movies, they didn't hold much interest to me.

I threw myself into preparing and for a few days I didn't think about anything else until I went to bed. For a few days there was no drug problem, no want for them, no need for a beer and I didn't obsess over how Bailey was doing.

I didn't leave my apartment unless necessary because it was like if I did there would suddenly be drugs everywhere, I know it was irrational but it was a hard feeling to get past and so unless my agent came to drag me somewhere or I needed groceries I locked myself in my apartment and just tried to get the lines perfect for something to do.

I still itched to grab my phone and call my dealer but like always when I wanted too I touched her necklace and knew she would be disappointed, I knew I would let her down, Kylie down, my mother down and Lacey down.

When it was time to go see my mother I was nervous, it's the second time I've seen her in years and the last time I saw her was when my agent took me over there and made me tell them what I was and I had to watch her cry as my dad pulled her off me when she tried to hug me, it was a terrible sight to see and it was a horrible last way to remember my mom.

I drove over to her new place, it was smaller and felt a lot homier automatically, apparently she didn't want to live in the old house where she spent so much time with my father, I didn't blame her, I probably wouldn't be going to see her if she lived there still, I would have made her meet me somewhere.

I pulled up into the drive way and I hesitated as I sat there for a while, should I go in or should I just turn and leave before she even notices I'm here.

I sat there so long she opened the door and leaned in the doorway waiting for me and then I had no choice but to shut off my car and go inside. As I neared her she was still the same woman I remembered but now she looked happier, I guess being without a monster as a husband has been good to her, even if she did spend a little while in jail.

They ruled that he pulled the gun on her and she shot him defending herself, therefore it was justified I guess.

"I didn't know if I would ever see you again." she said and she yanked me down to give her a hug. My mom was a shorter lady, probably only about five foot five, I was nearly a foot taller than her. My mom had dark hair that she dyed close to her original color when it started greying and she didn't look the fifty years that she was.

She got pregnant young with Sara and maybe that was why she stayed with my father, she felt she had no other choice, I didn't really know and now wasn't the time to ask, maybe I would get some insight one day.