The heart leads the way

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Lex

I woke up from my nap. I didn't know what any of this meant. Everything had been emotional for me in the past few days. I needed a break and went for a walk.

"Lex?" Nash stopped me. "Where are you going?"

"I thought I would take a walk," I said to him.

"Mind if I join you?" Nash asked.

I looked at him.

"With you remember nothing, you don't remember the neighborhood," he explained. I had to agree with him. I didn't know where anything was.

"Okay," I said to him. We left the house and walked. I just needed fresh air and not stuck in someplace. The funny thing was Nash didn't say much. It was nice to have some peace.

As we walked, I tried to think about things, and all I could come up with was the time I woke up from the hospital. Everything else was a blank.

"It's weird," I said.

"What is?" Nash asked.

"For having lived most of my life here, nothing looks the same. It's just familiar," I sighed.

"When you do things over and over, it becomes second nature," he explained.

"You're not like the others. Where they're all loud and crazy, you're not," I told Nash.

"That's because I had to deal with the craziness. I also had to deal with stupid mistakes," Nash said with a hint of regret in his voice.

"Such as?" I asked.

"Such as I was a tool to your mother while we were dating. Even after we found our way back to each other, I was a tool to her. It's not something I'm proud of," he sighed.

"I guess that's the perks of losing your memory. You can't remember being a tool or not." I shrugged as he looked at me, stunned. "It was a joke," I sighed. Damn, Nash doesn't have a sense of humor.

"Oh," he said.

"Let's see, you're serious, Nixon's an ass, and I don't know the other three," I mentioned.

"Do you want to meet them?" Nash asked me.

"Do I have a choice?" I asked him.

"Nope, because eventually, you will see them," he smirked, great.

We walked back to the house and got into the car. He drove me over to someone's home. I had no clue whose house it was.

We got out and went inside the house, and two guys noticed us. I stared at them; they were identical. Nash introduced me to them in the hospital.

"You two were at the hospital. You're Nathan, and you're Noah," I said, pointing to them.

"How did you know that? Most people completely screw that up," Nathan said to me.

"Most people don't pay attention," I shrugged.

I turned and walked around, looking at everything. Both watched me.

"Why does everyone feel the need to watch me? I'm not a doll or a toy. Just someone who doesn't know anyone," I said. That remark took them by surprise.

"We're surprised to see you up and around without lying in a bed asleep. We know you went through a lot," Noah told me.

I turned to them. "I was in a car accident and whacked my head from what everyone told me."

"It was pretty bad," Nathan said.

"Yeah, so was waking up having strangers stare at you," I replied as Nathan furrowed his brows at me.

"Lex, it worried us about you," Noah said sincerely.

"I know. Trust me; I know." They looked at me. "I haven't breathed while everyone was bombarding me with things I don't remember," I snapped.

"Okay, that doesn't mean you have to be an ass about it. People are showing you that they care," Nathan snapped back.

"Really? Because apparently, I'm supposed to be the guy they all remember. Well, I hate to break it to you, that guy died," I barked. My temper flared.

Nathan's temper flared, too, when he was this close to showing me his anger. Noah and Nash held him back.

"Lex, that's enough," Noah ordered me.

"What? That I'm sick and tired of being treated like someone who you all remember? Newsflash, I don't remember any of you," I said emphatically.

Noah walked over to me. "Maybe not, but guess what? We do. Do you think this has been easy on any of us? Well, news flash, it hasn't. You might not be the same person, but you show some damn respect. If not to us, then to your parents, you freaking twit!"

I looked at him, stunned. I didn't know what was going on with me. I know people were trying, but I was letting my frustrations get the best of me.

"Sorry," I whispered as I walked by them. I've been apologizing a lot lately. I know they're trying, but I was tired of being treated like who I was. It's like I should have all these memories. That I should give everyone a break, they went through a rough time. How about people give me a damn break?

I just walked. I needed to clear my head. I didn't enjoy snapping at people, but I also didn't like people pushing me.

It lost me in thought; I didn't realize I got lost. Fantastic, that's irony at its best. I had no phone, no way of calling anyone, not like it would matter, considering I didn't know anyone well.

I walked until I found a bench in a park. I just sat there. One minute I'm one person, then bam, I wake up being different. I didn't know if it was good or bad; I woke up. When someone dies, you mourn them and carry on with your life. When someone is alive and doesn't remember you, you end up regretting them, even though they're here, they aren't the same person.

I don't know how long I was sitting on that bench, but I felt someone touch my shoulder. I turned to see Nash walked around and sit down next to me.

"I would have called, but I don't have a phone, and I don't know any numbers. I got lost," I sighed as I looked straight ahead.

"No worries. I figure I would find you here," Nash said.

"What?" I looked at him.

"When you were a kid, and things got too much with your sisters, you would always come to the park. You said it gave you a chance to clear your head and give you peace," he explained.

"We're not talking about me before everything that happened, will we?" I asked him. It was a subject I was tired of hearing about everyone.

"Nope, but if it's one thing I know about my kids, is even if they don't remember, their heart does," he said as he looked at me.

"I feel that everyone is expecting me to know them or be this guy that they all knew. I don't know any of them, and I'm not that guy," I said honestly.

"They know this, and so do we. It's just a difference for everyone, you, us. You can't get upset with us when we're trying to navigate our way around you. Just as you're having difficulties, so are we," he explained.

It was weird. While other people went off on me, Nash didn't. He talked to me.

"Thanks, but that doesn't mean I'm calling you Dad yet," I told him.

"Well, not yet, but one day. I can wait," he shrugged as I sat there.

All I wanted to do was figure out who I was. Hell, I didn't even know if I would get my memory back. Maggie said people helped her, and some came back, but so far, no one has said or did anything that helped. Even the places I should remember, I didn't.

Plus, I wanted to talk to the girl at the bakery again. I left during our conversation. Maybe another trip to the bakery was for me.

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