Unexpected help

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Lex

I sat in a pew of a church, looking around. I did this frequently after they released me from the hospital. Just sitting here, wondering why? Why was my life flipped upside down? Why me?

Someone took a seat next to me as I sat there.

"Ready to talk?" The person asked me.

"Ever since I woke up, I've been searching for who I was. The answer always eludes me. It's like I'm not supposed to remember. It's like my life has chosen a different path. How can God let this happen?" I asked.

"God didn't make this happen. What he did was to allow you to live? If it sacrifices memories, then so be it. We can make new ones," the person told me.

"Would it be bad if I never got them back?" I questioned.

"Honestly, if you were to get them back, you would start remembering bits and pieces. That means it's time to start anew and fresh. Be who it always meant you to be. Not what everyone expects of you," the person advised me.

I sat there with them and thought about it. Maybe the person was right. Perhaps it was time for me to become the person it meant me to be.

"I'm sorry I called you an asshole," I said as I looked at Nixon.

"They have called me worse," he shrugged.

"Thanks for letting me come here and not pressuring me to remember or talk," I said to him.

"I may come off jerky to people, but even I understand sometimes people need someone to understand their situation," he assured me.

"I've been so angry since I got out of the hospital. It's like every time someone mentions something that happened to me, I feel like they're lying to me," I explained to the guy.

"They're not lying to you, Lex," Nixon explained.

He looked at me as I looked at him.

"They're protecting you. Do you honestly think, if your parents told you everything that had happened to you, you wouldn't feel overwhelmed?" He asked.

It was a question that I hadn't considered.

"Let me explain something when your parents found out they were expecting you five; I've never seen my big brother so excited. He couldn't wait to meet all of you. The day you were born, our brothers were there, including me. We watched as he cried, wondering if your mom would survive. We cried with him because, to us, Maggie was our sister. It was a bond we all had formed with your mother and you five," he told me.

I looked at him, a bit surprised.

"We were rough on your mom, but we grew to love her like family. She introduced me to my wife, who I'm grateful every day of my life to have Kat in it. She loved my brother even when he was unlovable. She changed all of our lives in a way we never expected. I know you seem upset with them, but honestly, they love you, kids, more than anything. I watched them stay with you, waiting for you to wake up. No one wants to lose a child before them. Remember that," he reminded me.

Listening to Uncle Nixon speak fondly of my parents made me realize how much they suffered since the accident. We sat there for a little while, then I got up and left.

I walked home using the GPS on my phone since I didn't remember where I lived. When I arrived, I opened the door, and Ma came out of the kitchen.

"Lex? Is everything okay?" She asked me concerned.

I said nothing. I walked over and hugged Ma, taking her by surprise. She immediately hugged me back.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered into her ear as I hugged her.

"It's okay. I'm just glad you're here," Ma whispered back as she stroked my head. Uncle Nixon was right. Ma offered something you couldn't get anywhere, unconditional love. I could feel it and didn't need memories to know that my ma loved me. I could feel it.

"Mags!" Dad yelled as he came inside and saw us. She waved him over, and he walked towards us.

I felt him touch my shoulder, and I turned to him. Then I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"Lex?" Dad said.

"I love you both," I said, muffled against his shirt as I felt Ma hug me along with Dad.

"You don't know how much we've waited to hear you say that," Dad said to me as he held me.

"We love you so much," Ma said as she continued to hug me.

I may not have gotten my memories back, but what I felt towards these two, I didn't need memories with them. I just needed to handle it.

When a family member in an accident or something happens, they worry about that person who is sick or injured, but they never worry about the family that isn't. As hard as it is for us, it's ten times harder on them. While we are on the inside looking out, they're on the outside looking in. They're waiting for the chance to come into where we are.

Later on, my sisters and their spouses came by the house. We all sat down and talked. My sisters told me about some things that had happened to us growing up. I laughed. Damn, they were crazy, but I felt an unbelievable connection to them.

It felt good to laugh and have this moment with them all. I just had a feeling; when I found out other things that had happened, it wouldn't be a happy occasion.

Those past events would drive me over the edge, but one person would pull me back. That is when I would realize that sometimes, family comes in the most unexpected places. I didn't know it yet.

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