Collaboration || Dan Smith

Forty-Seven.

𝙄 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙧𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙨
- 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗯𝗮𝘁𝘀

~ May 19th 2019 ~

"Bloody hell, Maisie!" Dan shouts in anger as soon as he enters our bedroom. I've been up here since the end of the party...I guess he has thought things over and now wants to confront me about the way I was.

I'm a different person. I know that sounds rich but I've honestly learnt and blossomed from my mistakes. I was a awful bully when I was younger - I went to therapy. At first I was this cocky kid but then after a few years I became mature. I left home...and started a whole new life. Maybe that's also what is ticking Ali off...I left Lake Placid and he is stuck there.

"It wasn't completely my fault...her death." It's the truth. She got bullied by the other cheerleaders. I was her only and last friend she ever fucking had. Of course I blew it but I wasn't in the right state of mind. I had no idea she was going to kill herself. "But you fucking gave her grief. You fucking messed with her head. You're as bad as the ones who did get to her!" I close my eyes and weakly sit down on the bed.

I need Dan to hear my version out. Sure Ali brought the subject of me being a bitch up but...he didn't go into specifics that...I was Delores friend. I have proof...proof that I was and it comes directly from her.

   With that I get onto my knees and look under the bed. It's where I keep my teal blue box of memories. I open it up and dig through old Polaroid's...and scans of Bee...to the bottom of the tin. I get out the note and carefully open it up. Dan then sits on the bed looking confused. I know he hates em. Dan got bullied too and...he probably feels as disgusted as I do.

   I wasn't a bully...I was just a meanie. I wouldn't hurt someone physically and everything I did was me trying to be a rebel - I didn't want to be a cheerleader. I only joined so that Daisy would be proud of me. She was the one who worked her butt of the most so me and Georgie could go to that private high school.

"Ali...he got a few things wrong." I might as well be done with this all and tell Dan the truth.

   "Georgie wasn't the only person to leave me a suicide note...nor was Daisy to give me a gift from her parting." Everyone I've ever loved has a tendency to either die or push me away. There's no in between and it kinda sucks.

   "How did she die then...if it wasn't your fault?" It wasn't completely my fault is what I said. "One of the girls told her to go to hell. And because I didn't want her to get laughed at for supporting me...I said sometimes it's better to just do as they say...that they're being nasty and critiquing her. She killed herself because of that. But it turns out she was already holding onto this note for a couple of weeks beforehand so her life was a waste and she was only sticking around for me." With that I cry. How can I not cry?

   My life is fucked up. I can't help but think I'm killing all of these people. I then hold her note out as Dan takes it. He doesn't say anything but I'm getting the feeling that Dan isn't angry anymore. "Yes growing up I was a bitch to her but her mum paid me off and I realised that...she only wanted to fit in." Dan then closes his eyes after reading the note.

   "What Ali said wasn't exactly the truth...but it wasn't a lie. I like to think that Delores and those girls I hurt got their karma over the years." Dan shakes his head. He just stays quiet and puts the note down besides him.

   "Is there anything else your hiding? From being a high school bully...to abandoning your twin...is there anything else I need to know about. Now is a really fucking good time to tell me." I shake my head. That's my past. I've told him everything I'm not proud of. "Well then." He whispers as I stand back up cradling my bump.

Dan stands up too. "Where are you going?" I ask as he shrugs. "Sleeping on the sofa." The adult dorm of punishment. "Babe...I'll sleep on it." I mean I don't want to but I deserve this. "No. For Bee's sake." He whispers as I sit down on the sofa.

"Before Ali...I thought you was the sweetest girl in the whole wide world...now you're...I don't know." Dan whispers before he gently closes the door.

Fucking hell. I hold my head in my hands, I look down and see her note still sitting in the bed where Dan left it. "I'm so sorry." I whisper looking at it.

At least the truth is out there now.