The Missing Piece Of Me

Chapter 24

"By the way, you look good together", she said and smiled bitterly then she turned away. Fhen came rushing her way while I stand here a bit frozen.

"Bakit parang masakit? We look good together? Me and Fhen? Pero hindi nga kami eh!", my mind and heart are fighting already

"Je? Everything alright?", Fhen asked me.

"Ow. You're here na pala. I'm sorry I just got zoned out", I told her and gave a weak smile afterwards.

"How was your talk with her? You know you can tell me anything right?", she assured me and tapped my head

I just nodded and started giving short sighs.

"What's the matter? Bakit ka umiiyak?", Fhen asked while wiping my tears.

"Gosh", agad kong hinanap ang panyo sa pocket ko pero mukhang naiwan ko yata sa kotse ni Deans kaya I used my hands instead.

" Tara do'n. Baka nangangalay ka na", Fhen said habang inaakbayan ako.

We sat there for a while. Fhen just started singing her favorite song while waiting for me to speak up. Sometimes she's just too determined for anything.

"I let her kiss me", I told her to break the silence between us.

My body's shaking while waiting for her response. All of a sudden she became silent. Her cheerful and concerned side suddenly blemished. I'm starting to feel irritated with the atmosphere then the sky started crying.

"Umuulan na, pasok na tayo", she said in a cold voice while standing up.

"F-fhen.", I nervously uttered.

"Please, pasok na tayo", she replied in an irritated voice.

I had no choice but to follow her. Lumalakas na ang ulan and we can't afford to get sick dahil may game pa kami these following days. My body's still trembling. Hindi kasi ako sanay. This is her first time to talk to me like that. I felt scared all of a sudden. It's like talking to a stranger.

"Je, towel oh", offer ni Ate Lyn.

I just got back from reality when she tapped my shoulder and handed the towel.

"S-si Fhen, Ate?", I asked out of nowhere.

"Magpapahinga na raw, medyo masama pakiramdam eh", she replied.

"Eh yung iba po, asan?", I asked her while wiping my hair with the towel she handed.

"Nagpapahinga na lahat. Kami na lang ni Fhen di pa natutulog kakahintay sayo eh. Tara na? Alam kong pagod ka eh. Kumain ka na ba?", tuluy-tuloy lang siya sa pagsasalita habang tinutulungan akong magpatuyo.

"I'm fine. Hindi ako nagugutom, Ate. Tara na sa room", I managed to fake a smile at dumiretso na kami sa room naming dalawa.

"The coast is clear, spill it", she smirked and threw the towel at me.

"Spill what?", I asked her.

"Binasted mo ba si Fhen? Bakit ganon mukha niya? At magkwento ka about sa usapan niyo ni Deanna", nagmake face lang siya at umikot ikot sa kama.

"I told her I let Deanna kiss me tapos sobrang cold niya na. Alam kong ganon ang mararamdaman niya pero I wanted to be honest with her. I let Deanna Wong kiss me and now I'm confused if my feelings are starting to haunt me. I'm really confused, Ate", I told Ate Lyn while trying to hold my tears.

Ate Lyn started fixing her position and she gestured me to sit beside her.

"Je, this is not you. Alam mo ba yun? Lately you're just too insensitive. Ano bang nararamdaman mo kay Fhen? Kay Deanna? Akala ko ba wala kang nararamdaman para sa dalawang yon? Bakit parang ngayon mahal mo na yung dalawa?", she let out a deep sigh after all those queries.

"Ate, Deanna is part of my past. Sure she was my one great love back then pero years had already passed. Oo, I started having a crush with her nung hindi ko pa nalalaman na may past kaming dalawa pero hindi naman yata ibig sabihin no'n I want her back, di ba? Baka naaawa lang ako sa kanya eh", I bit my lower lip and clinched my right fist. I don't know what to feel. My heart is crashing.

"Don't rush things. Love is not like studying for an exam, Je. Sort of surprise quiz ang love pero in your case, hindi ka minamadali. Walang quota dito. Sarili mo ang kalaban mo", she said while tapping my shoulder.

I breathed a heavy sigh but managed to smile at her afterwards.

She's right. No one's demanding my answer in a rush. I have to clear my mind dahil may dalawang taong nasasaktan sa ginagawa ko. They don't deserve the false hopes and confusion.

"Thank you, Ate Lyn. Minsan talaga may sense kang kausap eh", pabiro kong sabad habang nakayakap ako sa kanya.

"Tahan na, okay? May games pa tayo oh. Pangarap nating lahat 'to. Set the distractions aside. We can't afford to crumble", she said in a bitter voice.

"I understand, Ate. Don't worry. I know what to do now. Salamat ha? Salamat kasi nandiyan ka palagi", I hugged her even tighter at kumalma na.

At last! My mind started to relax. I can finally think straight. Okay, Jema. There are more important tasks to accomplish kaya kalimutan mo muna lahat ng worries mo about sa lovelife  na yan. Set aside the distractions.

Naglinis na ako ng sarili bago matulog. Tinabihan ako ni Ate Lyn dahil nag request talaga ako sa kaniya if she can sleep with me tonight para mas maganda pa ang tulog niya... este ko pala.

"Good night, Sis! I love you!", I kissed her cheek and closed my eyes.