Alex’s P.O.V
It’s when they take you into a small isolated room with a box of tissues in the middle of the table, when you know that the one person you depend on for always being there is hanging on to their life by the tiniest piece of thread. And it’s like even the smallest living animal could cut that thread and take that person away from you in the blink of an eye.
People were calling my name, but I did not hear them for the horrors in my head which had been haunting me for the past three days. Since the crash, Elle had been in intensive care. She went into shock after I pulled her out from the destroyed room. She’s been unconscious since then. All I could keep telling myself was that it was all my fault. Well it was.
It was all my fault.
“Alex?” The man stated again.
It was all my fault.
“Alex, please we need to discuss this beforehand with you.”
Snapping out of it, I looked up to him with more anger than needed.
It was all my fault.
He sighed before starting. “Elle…her condition is extremely difficult to explain what is going on with her body right now. We took her into theatre to operate on her major injuries but she still has not woken from her unconsciousness which is extremely displeasing and I am sure it is very hard for you, Alex.”
It was all my fault.
“We are unsure about what is going to happen but one thing is for sure that she…maybe won’t pull through. We are unsure about this outcome but…” He carried on but whatever was falling out his mouth now was no longer heard by me, the broken man.
He said it. He finally said it. What I was dreading. I couldn’t handle it.
Fisting my hands up I screamed into the table which hardly muffled my sounds. “IT’S ALL MY FAULT!” I punched the table over, and over, and over, and over again but it hardly did anything. It didn’t bring the warmth or the perfect smile Elle had. What I would do to hear her laugh, her voice, her singing...but that may all be taken away from me soon.
The man had finished his speech and was about to discard me from the room when something I or him did not expect to happen.
Suddenly, a nurse flung open the door so it bounced into the wall behind it probably denting it. She was out of breath, like she’d been running down the vast amounts of corridor.
“It’s, it’s Elle.” She gasped in-between her short breaths.
My head shot up in pain, pain of loss and fury. But then, what she said next surprised me in many different ways and emotions.
“She’s awake and in better form than we expected-“ Before she could carry on, I pushed up from my chair with so much force sending it flying into the wall behind me definitely denting it. My hair flew into my face but I didn’t give a shit about that, I needed to see her. Pushing the women out my way, I sprinted faster than Usain Bolt (I thought) down the maze of corridors onto where Le’s ward was. Voices rang out from behind me, shouting for me to come back but they couldn’t beckon me back now. Not after I hadn’t seen her since…since it happened.
Flying through the room where she was, I looked around the dark room to see a figure lying what seemed lifelessly on the bed. Running, I went over to her side to see her teary eyes already looking into mine. A tear fell down her face as her tiny hand reached to cup my cheek.
“Shh shh, no El. Rest your arm.” I whispered in a hushed tone. Her hand slumped back down by her body before I kissed her lips. She parted her lips slightly as they met mine. Kissing her was euphoric and perfect. Reluctantly, I pulled away and rubbed my nose against hers before she sat up weekly and nuzzled her nose in my neck. Her hands grabbed my hair like a child would hold their mothers hand.
“I am so sorry Al.” She started crying, her voice hoarse. A tear dripped on my neck so I pulled away and kissed the tears away which were wastefully falling down her tired face.
“Don’t you blame yourself for this. This is entirely, and utterly my fault Le. I stroked her face with my thumb gently as a single droplet fell from my eye. I was never one to cry, I hadn’t for a very long time, but in moments like this I couldn’t help it. Never, never had I felt so drained in my entire life. It was like my soul had left my body and left me to try and cope without. I didn’t know me anymore and it had only been three days.
“Oh look at us.” She stifled a laugh from her precious little mouth. “I’m okay, Al. I am going to be okay.” As she reached for her glass of water by the bedside, I supported her back. Immediately after she had picked up the glass, it fell from her weak grasp and shattered on the cold stone floor. She bent over to try and seemingly catch it which made her shoot up in agonising pain. Hitting the panic button, I rushed back to Elle to see her face crumpled and her body slouching over her legs. Her breathing was coming out in pants as she tried to calm herself.
The nurse from earlier rushed in by her side and ushered me out of the way before checking if Elle was okay.
Eventually, she left making it just me and Elle in the room again.
“When I get out of this shit hole, I’m gonna take you somewhere Al. Just me and…” She coughed midway before sipping on the drink and then returning back to previous sentences. “Just me and you.”
Sighing, she picked up on my worry.
“What?” She said in barely a whisper.
Shaking my head, I looked into her beautiful eyes.
“I don’t think you’d want to come anywhere near me, let alone go away with me after what’s happened.”
“Are you serious? You think it’s your fault? God, Alex. You must be blind to see that this is your fault.” She said pointing at her body. “Don’t blame yourself for everything that happens to me because honestly, it will be fine.”
“FINE?! You could have fuckin’ died Elle!” I didn’t mean to shout. I didn’t mean to lose my temper. I was just so angry for my mistakes.
Her face dropped and another tear fell down her face. Well done, Alex you shithead.
“Oh god. El, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. Oh shit, I am so sorry baby.” Kissing her check, she choked a reply sadly.
“It’s okay. I, I know I could have died. But you know what? At least I would have died happy knowing that we’d actually had a chance. I had a chance to know you and guess what?”
“What?”
“I’ve had the best fucking time of my life knowing you.”
“It sounds like you’re saying goodbye. Oh god, you’re not are you? Please no Elle.”
“Fuck off! No I am not. I’m just trying to say that don’t you dare blame everything on yourself because Alex, you’re the best thing that I could have ever asked for. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” She tried to laugh but ended up coughing again. I supported her back and when she’d finished, I kissed her on the lips. Then, I softly sang in her ear.
“Baby, I'm yours,
And I'll be yours, until the stars fall from the sky,
Yours, until the rivers all run dry
In other words, until I die”
After a while, she started murmuring the words with me whilst I held her in my arms.
“I'm gonna stay right here by your side,
Do my best to keep you satisfied
Nothin' in the world can drive me away
'Cause every day, you'll hear me say
“Baby, I'm yours,
And I'll be yours, until two and two is three,
Yours untill the mountains crumble to the sea,
In other words, until eternity"
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273 Days (Alex Turner fanfiction)
FanfictionElle doesn't have the energy to do anything anymore, but when she decides to move on from her split with Alex nine months ago their paths meet again. Could this be the start of something new?
