5SOS Preferences

#34 - Even My Dad Does Sometimes // Ed Sheeran

A/N-back to school next Tuesday😔 leave me some requests to do before I go back please😁💜

TRIGGER WARNING - LUKE'S PREFERENCE IS BASED ON SELF HARM. PLEASE DON'T READ IF IT COULD AFFECT YOU IN ANYWAY.

Always here for you guys if you need me. Please don't harm yourselves❤️

Ashton:

"It's alright to cry, even my Dad does sometimes."

"Just pick up your toys and please be quiet. I'm tired and I'd appreciate you both to just stop being so loud." You sighed, rubbing your temples.

"No Y/N! We're playing, leave us alone!" Your seven year old brother shouted back at you, continuing to throw things around and make a lot of noise.

Ashton glanced over to you and saw the tears forming in your eyes, before you blinked them away and forced them to stop.

"Boys, please just play down here quietly for a while." Ashton asked them calmly, before rubbing your arms and leading you upstairs.

He followed you into the bedroom and watched as you sat on the bed, as you took deep breaths through your nose to try and stop the tears from falling.

"Baby..." He murmured, holding you in his arms as rubbing your back. "Let go. Come on, I've got you. You don't have to be strong for me, let it go. You'll feel better, I promise."

"I can't do this anymore Ashton." You broke down in his arms, letting every bit of emotion pour our of your body. "I'm not a Parent. My Mum and Dad shouldn't have left me like this! It's not fair!"

"I know baby, I know." He answered simply, just making sure that he was holding you and being your rock. "You're so amazing and strong. I'm sure your Dad broke down too, hm? When he got stressed? Everyone needs a break sometimes."

"What would I do without you Ash?" You smiled, nuzzling your head into his neck.

"I just need you to know that's it's okay for you to cry, and to not be strong all of the time. You know I'm here whenever you need." He replied, kissing your face multiple times before meeting your lips with his.

Calum:

"Don't wipe your eyes, tears remind you you're alive."

"You can't stay in there forever sweetie." Calum sighed, sitting against the other side of the door.

"I don't want you to see me like this." You choked up, barely able to speak.

"But I want to be able to help you. It's okay not to be okay, just let me hold you for a while and you can tell me everything." He offered, knocking lightly on the door a few times.

You slowly opened the door to find Calum stood there with his arms wide open. He took in the sight of you, mascara stains and tears running down your face.

"I hate crying in front of people..." You muttered, wiping your cheeks.

"That's what I'm here for babe, don't worry about it." He smiled softly, forcing you into his arms. "I've got you now, it's okay."

"I didn't want to be weak, I didn't want them to know that what they were doing was hurting me. But I guess it's harder to hide than I thought."

"You can't be strong all of the time. Nobody can. Not me, not you, not any of the boys... It's impossible, so don't even try." He said, stroking your hair.

"I just feel kinda done. Well, definitely for today. Can we just cuddle for a while? Please?" You ask, rubbing the final tears out of your eyes.

"I thought you'd never ask." He chuckled, leading you into bed and safe into his arms.

Luke:

"It's alright to say that death's the only thing you haven't tried; but just for today, hold on."

You sat on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor, trying to control your breathing. You watched the blood glide down your wrist smoothly, making you relax.

The blade fell to the floor as you laid your head back onto the side of the bath, your eyes slowly shutting.

Luke opened the door and took in the sight of you, his heart pounding. "Y/N!" He panicked, thinking you'd done something serious this time.

"I thought you had stopped this babe. You promised me Y/N. You said you'd stopped this!" He cried, wiping the crimson liquid from your wrist.

"I'm sorry Luke. I just don't know what else to do now." You sighed, not even bothering to wipe your eyes.

"That's deeper than any of the others before. What were you trying to do? Do you want to die?" He asked, tears spilling down his face too.

"Luke!" You shouted in frustration. "Just stop! I didn't know what else to do. It's the only thing I haven't done to stop the pain yet."

"I'm sorry for shouting at you baby. It hurts me that you do this to yourself, you're just so beautiful and I hate that you're causing pain to yourself..." He whispered in your ear before kissing your cheek, trying to comfort you.

"I'm really gonna try to stop now, okay? I need to do this for you. I promise I'll get help now." You admitted, looking into his crystal blue eyes.

"Good, because I don't intend on living without you. I couldn't baby, I need you forever.."

Michael:

"It's alright to shake, even my hand does sometimes."

"How am I supposed to read this whole speech out properly when I can't hold the cards straight?" You mumble, looking at your shaking hands.

"You're gonna be absolutely perfect babe. I believe in you!" Michael replied, taking your hands in his and rubbing them.

"They're all gonna be looking at me. Focusing on me. Listening to me. I can't let anyone down today, this means everything. I could lose my job over this." You burst out, running your hands through your hair.

"Babe, babe..." He murmured, rubbing your back softly. "Please just try and rela-"

"Michael! Don't tell me to relax. How am I supposed to relax? Don't you understand how important this is?!" You exclaimed, getting frustrated.

"You're panicking and you need to try and calm down, baby. This isn't good for you Y/N, you'll feel better if you slow down a bit, yeah?"

"But I can't stop shaking!" You cried, staring at the ground.

"That's okay babe, don't you think I shake when I go out to play in front of 80,000 people? Everyone does it, it's fine." He tried to reassure you.

"That's different though. You're used to it. And you're good at what you do! You're amazing in the band."

"And you're amazing at this. You know what you're talking about, and you have your cards if you need reminding. Go smash it babe, I'll be right here when you get back."