I was on my way back from a long walk with the dogs when I noticed the balcony door was open. The only one that could have opened it would be Jeffrey, which meant that he was home. Well, yeah, it had been two weeks so it wouldn't be a surprise; we never talked more after that night, so I didn't know what time he would be home. Although I was expecting for it to be him, my eyes went wide and my heart skipped a beat when I entered the house and saw him sitting on the couch. I let go of the dogs so they could go to him and I said hello.
I wanted to hug and kiss him, we hadn't seen each other in so long, but his aggravated expression put me off. ''Did you have a good flight?'' I asked him, being stupid enough to think that it might make everything better.
''Yeah'' he replied shortly.
''Good. There's food in the fridge if you want'' I started heading towards any room, any but the one he was in. The tension was horrible and I was about to cry...or scream.
''Are we gonna talk about this shit going on between us or are we just gonna act like nothing's happened?'' he asked before I could take any more steps, his voice intensifying with each word.
I stopped in my track and turned around to face him. ''Sure, let's talk about the shit''.
''Ever since that night we haven't talked at all. At all, Iris'' he looked at me with furrowed eyebrows causing wrinkles to form between them.
''What is there to talk about?'' I leaned against the back of the sofa and looked at him with the same expression.
''You didn't even let me explain anything to you for fuck's sake. Your ego is so fucking high and you're so proud that you never answered your phone when I called after that'' he was so irritated by now that it was contagious.
''Well, maybe you should've just stopped fangirls from grabbing your ass in the first place'' I rolled my eyes. He looked at me in exasperation, clearly annoyed.
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''Can you fucking listen to me? Just listen to what I have to say and then do whatever you want''. I stayed quiet and waited for him to continue. Go on, explain then. ''Right then. The girl grabbed my ass right when they took the photo. I never expected it, I never accepted it or told her to do it. She didn't tell me she was gonna do it because if she did I'd say no. It was nothing in that way, I didn't fucking cheat on you or something, if that's what you think. Fans are fans, I'd never do anything with anyone because I have a girlfriend who I care about more than anyone in this fucking world''.
I looked at him while he told me all that. My facial expression was probably showing what I was feeling; fury, irritation. I had always trusted Jeffrey, I'd never said or thought that he cheated on me. Never ever would I accuse him of something like that because I trusted him. The fucking thing is that the photo caught me by so much surprise that when I saw it, it made me wonder what else he could possibly had been doing behind that camera. I knew I shouldn't think that way; it was wrong and disgusting and I knew it.
''Are you still not gonna say anything?'' he asked while waved his hand in front of me. I was about to cry.
''I don't think I can do all this fangirl thing. All this being-together-with-a-celebrity thing''. Why did I even say that? I could do it, of course I could. I could do it because I loved him more than anything, but I was proud as fuck.
''What is that supposed to mean?''.
''What the fuck do you think?''.
''So you don't believe me? Why don't you trust me?'' he asked. He looked defeated. I did trust him. I believed every single word because he had never ever lied to me. Why would he do it now?
''I'm leaving'' I said as I grabbed my car keys and my phone. He sighed exasperated and remained silent.
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''Leave then'' he turned around and left the room. I went to my car and started driving, no destination in my mind.
It didn't take long before I started crying like crazy, eyes getting so blurry that I could barely see the road in front of me. I couldn't keep on driving like that, it was too dangerous, so I stopped and cried my eyes out until there were no tears left.
''Why am I like this?'' I screamed, addressing the question to myself. Why was I like that? So proud, so fucking shitty about something I got an explanation for; a legit one for that matter. Driving further than that was unnecessary and I couldn't stop thinking about how Jeffrey was at home consuming himself over the thought that I didn't trust him.
I made a dangerous U-turn and drove back home. Opening the front door I took a large step inside and was met by Jeffrey who was standing in front of me. It was like he knew I was coming back. We looked at each other long until I desperately wrapped my arms around him and held him tight. He hugged me right back, his arms holding me against him tight but tenderly; fuck I had missed him so much. So fucking much.
''I'm sorry'' I finally spoke. Jeffrey caressed my hair gently as I kept repeating those two words over and over again.
''It's okay'' he said. No, it wasn't okay.
''I can be a real piece of shit sometimes, please forgive my stupidity'' I begged.
''I can be a big ass piece of shit too, so we're even'' he smiled at me when I looked up at him. ''I can't stand seeing you leave like that''.
I nodded. ''I've missed you so much'' I confessed as I lifted myself on my tiptoes to kiss him. Oh, the beautiful taste of his lips. God, I had missed him like crazy. ''It's lonely here without you''.
''I've missed the fuck out of you too, you have no idea'' he deepened the kiss and lifted me up, taking me to the bedroom where we made sweet, sweet love.
