It's Kinda Complicated

24. WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN

This place is so crowded I cannot find any place to just sit down, relax and act like none of these people existed. Every two minutes someone popped out of nowhere and questioned me like I was their long-lost friend. One second into the house and Sasha was swallowed by a horde of her college friends. I saw a few familiar faces, but everyone was busy doing something. Everyone around me looked excited and were happily chatting away with their friends.

I did not know many people here. Everyone from school were coming here by evening or night. I am all for socializing, but I have absolutely no idea why I am here this early. The place was nice. It was a resort on the beach filled with similar kind of houses. The wedding was going to be in a nearby church and the reception was to be held here again tomorrow.

When I told Sasha that she could go on and I would join her later, she insisted we drive together. I guess she still thought I would ditch her and not attend the union of the most obnoxious people I have had the misfortune of meeting. I mean who would miss that right? Two of your own personal childhood bullies getting married is the day you always dream about. Come on, this is something all the kids who got bullied can relate to: there will be a mean guy and a mean girl from different instances but when you later recall you think 'Obnoxious people, they are perfect for each other'. But, who would have thought God took my words so seriously?

"The last time I have seen something so fake was six years ago when you were aww-ing at the lovey-dovey couple, who are getting married today, along with Sasha because you didn't know what else to do."

At the sound of her voice, gone was the plastic smile I plastered on my face and was replaced by an ear to ear grin. I missed her.

"And it was the same year I ever saw you again," I turned around to an entirely different girl, scratch that, woman standing before me. Gone was the girl who wore wild jeans and Tees, with a tangled mess of hair she didn't give a damn about. This version of the crazy girl was more pristine and pious.

Only, she couldn't fool me with her appearance. I have known her too well and for too long.

"Miss me?" she said with one eyebrow raised and spreading her arms to give me one of her hugs that I have missed a lot.

"Barely" I whispered trying to keep tears and my voice under control.

"I doubt that"

"Vivi?" came a surprised voice from behind me and before I knew what was happening I was crushed into a group hug from Sasha.

Here we were all grown up meeting six years later hugging each other the same way we used to, when one of us was upset about something.

"That answers. I was definitely missed."

***********************

Sasha left us again to do god knows what and Vivi and I were sitting beside the pool, lazing around a little before the circus began. The wedding is tomorrow, and we have nothing to do until the catastrophe.

"Tell me why I am here exactly?" I asked to no one in particular.

"You are here to get drunk, hook up with some random guy, have the time of your life and fill me in with everything I have missed."

"You haven't missed much" I mumble looking at Vivi who was sipping her cocktail, looking at me skeptically.

"Really? But a bird named Mini told me differently" Vivi looks smug, like she knows something I don't.

"You still talk to her? Why did you talk to her?" I asked confused.

"What do you mean why? I have stayed in touch with her. I need some reliable source to keep assuring me that you are doing fine without me" when I raised both my brows, she continued "Riya believe it or not, you are not exactly an easy person to deal with. You can be a real pain in the a*s, when you are breaking from the inside but act like everything's just fine. I needed someone to tell me you were really ok."

"So, what? You were spying on me?"

"Like you weren't? I know all about your long conversations with Bugs asking him to take care of me and keeping an eye on me all the time 'because I can do something stupid in no time'. So, stop pointing finger at me. I was just looking out for my friend."

She air quoted the words I specifically mentioned to Bugs, when I was pleading with him to take care of my crazy friend.

Bugs was Vivi's friend from college. She introduced me to him on one of our video calls and I introduced Mini to her when we were in college. In a way I understand what she did. I did the same thing. Asking her friend about her does not mean I am spying on her, it was my way of making sure she wasn't getting into any trouble. Even when she was, she wouldn't tell me. But I wanted to be there for her even if she didn't want anyone. I wanted to support her when she needed someone.

We can all put up that front, like we don't need anyone, and we are fine by ourselves but secretly we want someone to just say 'everything will be fine' without having to explain to them what the 'everything' is.

"Now I understand the daily call in the sophomore year," I said, with understanding slowly setting in. I never told anyone about what happened between Sasha and I in the summer break of freshman year. Now I am grateful for not telling Mini about it.

"I just wanted you to feel like you could tell me what you were feeling even if you did not tell me your problems."

"I understand," I nodded in understanding.

"Woah! Enough now, stop the wheels that are turning in your head. I know you are thinking about all the things you have said Mini and I might possibly know now. You know you can... WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?" Vivi shrieked into my ear looking at something in front of us.

And my reaction to the scene unfolding before us was simple "Hmm?!" supported by a very bewildered look on my face.

Of course, he is here. Why wouldn't he be? He was the star kid of your school, loved by all and envied by many. But it was not his obnoxious presence in this obnoxious place that throw me off guard.

No, it was his dangerously close proximity to my friend or more specifically his hands that were now resting on Sasha's waist that triggered my 'mute not by choice but because of the circumstance' hormone.

When I got out of my temporary stupor I looked to my left to see Vivi jump off her chair and march her way to the couple. She ripped Ash away from Sasha and threw her hands around him and pulled him into a bear hug. The hug then turned into a fight, later into a wrestling match where the two of them were laughing and saying some crass things about each other. Sasha stood on the sidelines smiling at the dueling duo and adding her inputs when necessary.

Me?

I sat there smiling a little but hurting a lot from the inside. Until six years ago this was almost an everyday scene for me. It was in moments like this I have laughed the most, where I never thought of my broken family, when I had three best friends who meant everything to me.

And now? Everything has changed. Ash and I don't speak anymore, Sasha and I don't look in the eye sometimes. Vivi and I hide things from each other.

I was oozing the kind of negativity that a cheerful place like this did not need. So, I did everyone a favor and removed myself from the scene and walked away. The beach and water looked very alluring. It looked like the never-ending ocean was promising to swallow all my bad thoughts.

Vivi, Ash and I were neighbors in this very city for as long as I could remember. Our mothers were friends, forcing our fathers to have civil conversations when necessary and ultimately making us best friends. Ash was one year our senior and kind of played the protective big brother most of the time. Many thought Vivi and Ash were related by blood. They were the quarreling siblings and I was the best friend who brought peace, most of the time.

Later Sasha joined our small group and fitted right in because she was nothing like any of us. She was more girlie than Vivi and I put together, and more annoying than Ash and Vivi put together.

Then the worst happened. We grew up. We fell apart and now here I am, walking away from one thing that never failed to put a smile on my face before.

Us.

~*~*~*~*~*

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