It's Kinda Complicated

29. Snap out of it, betrayer

Three months two weeks and five days of complete and utter torture. Yes, that's how long it has been since Ryan and Mini's episode. These three months haven't been easy. Mini had to dodge from all the unnecessary questions and publicity. Ryan was dealing with some crucial deals along with the 'girlfriend' issue and as for me

Hmmmmm, just some amazing fun time with the media.

Everything has been cleared and we aren't in any mess, anymore. Sara got a promotion along with Jack, Kira and I got a good hike. Things aren't that bad if you don't consider Mini constantly being all lovey-dovey with Ryan or the cameras that followed me everywhere I went for a few weeks or my Mom's never-ending list of people getting hitched or Sasha's and Ash's indecisiveness about talking to me in the last four weeks.

Life's good.

"Hey honey, are you alright?"

I turn around to find a woman in her mid-thirties looking at me like I am some beaten bird.

"I am fine, thank you." I smile at her despite not knowing who she was.

"Oh hush. I know it must be hard. You don't have to lie to me. I can see right through you. I know this was supposed to be your day but unfortunately it is your friend's," she looks in the direction of Ryan and Mini, who are receiving guests at their engagement party, and continues "I think they are happy. But I cannot for the life of me understand how Ryan got over you so fast and fell in love with your friend. He wasn't such a jerk when he was younger."

I don't bother correcting her as she walked away. Because, let's face it, Ryan kind of deserved that.

I look around me and see everyone happily talking to each other and the grin on Mini's face is all that takes for me to not walk away from here. I don't hate parties, but I am not a huge fan of them either. I find them suffocating.

"So, the gorgon is getting married to naughty boy. Not all matches are made in heaven after all" Sasha oh so nicely puts it, again showing her passionate hatred for Mini.

I did not respond, just smiled at her and walked away.

In the last month I met Sasha twice. Once when Vivi was leaving us, again, and today.

After the day with our mothers, I constantly asked her to talk to me and she brushed it off with some lame excuse. Later, she messaged me saying that everything that had happened was done for my wellbeing and some sh*t along those lines.

I had very simple questions and her answers never matched my questions. So, after a few weeks I gave up. I was no longer interested in knowing what happened or was happening.

Was I upset, yes.

Disappointed? Yes.

Hurt? Yes.

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'All alone I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
You don't care you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Yeah, all alone I watch you watch her
She's the only thing you've ever seen
How is it you'll never notice
That you were slowly killing me'

I was busy singing the song when my watch buzzed violently. I gave a temporary break to my award-winning performance and looked at my watch.

It showed that the hours and minutes hand stood at 12 exactly. I slowly got off the roof of my car and pulled out a piece of my favorite pastry from the passenger seat. I climbed back to the car's roof and closed my eyes for a few minutes and devoured my pastry.

I was far far far away from the party. Far away from all the people who had a place in my life. Far away from all the chaos, from all the confusion and most importantly from all the drama. I was peaceful here, parked somewhere in the middle of a road, sitting here on my car that was parked on an elevated road, overlooking the city's night lights. I didn't have to deal with anything or anyone. There was no one around me. I don't think there is any human movement for at least 2 miles around me.