Malvie

Malvie - Part 2, Chapter 4

**This chapter focuses on mental illness and suicide**

A thick rope was wrapped tightly around Mal's wrists behind her back, preventing her from moving her hands or arms. She stood on top of a guardrail along a deserted highway, not a single car in sight. Below her were jagged red rocks as if she was at the Grand Canyon. She could feel the bitter presence of someone behind her, burning a hole in the back of her head with their cold stare. Her breath was heavy, breathing rapidly as sweat poured down her face in buckets. It felt hotter than summer, a fitting temperature to the Arizona landscape. She didn't dare look back at the being who she could sense creeping closer. Mal gulped, gazing down at the at least two hundred foot drop beneath her. Her brain was shouting at her from inside her skull, though she couldn't understand what it was saying as if it spoke gibberish or a different language all together.

"But Evie..." she managed to peep out, speaking to the being that was now only inches from her ear.

"Jump," it whispered back, putting a lot of emphasis on the P. Then, the being began to sing.

Where I'm going, skies are blue

Clouds don't exist and everything's new

When I go, I go alone

Don't come with me, please stay at home

Don't follow along, don't sing along

'Cause soon I'll be gone

I'm sorry but I just can't stay

I promise I'll be okay...

Mal exhaled and inhaled quickly, blinking rapidly as her eyes adjusted to her new surroundings. The clock on her nightstand read 3:18 AM. She turned to her left, seeing Evie sound asleep on her side of the bed. Mal swung her feet over the side of her bed, enjoying the silence that surrounded her in the dead of night. She had only been home from the hospital for a week and not one night had gotten a good night's sleep. The same dream, playing over in her mind every single time she closed her eyes. She had become accustomed to it taking over her brain, like a controlled nightmare.

She stood up from the bed and made her way over to the mirror on the other side of the room. She lifted her shirt slightly, examining the scar from her stab wound that had finally healed over. She gazed at her reflection in the darkness, enjoying her less visible self more than her clear one.

"Mal?" Evie's voice spoke from the bed. She turned to see Evie propping herself up in bed with her arms, wide awake. "Are you okay?" There was a sense of worry and concern in her girlfriend's voice.

"Uh, yeah. I'm fine," Mal replied, turning back to her reflection. Neither spoke for a second, not changing their positions.

"Are you sure?" Evie spoke up. Mal hesitated before answering.

"Yeah." Evie stood up from the bed, walking over to Mal and placing her hands on Mal's arms. She looked into the mirror with Mal, studying her body.

"I don't believe you... Every night since you've gotten home, you just stare at yourself in the night. Why?"

"I prefer to look at myself in the dark than in the light," Mal whispered back.