Malvie

Malvie - Part 3, Chapter 9

Mal woke up early the next morning, much earlier than she normally would. She feared waking up at the same time as Evie and the two of them feeling awkward about what day it was. Mal went into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror, tired eyes being the first thing she noticed on her face. Her eyes were filled with an unfamiliar gaze, loneliness. For almost a year she and Evie had been together. For over half a decade prior, they had been friends. But this was the first time she felt the pain of loneliness, the absence of Evie leaving a vacant space in her heart for love. It was unlike when they had broken up, that time allowing the possibility for reconnection. But this time there was nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing but empty space in her empty heart. The most fitting feeling for Valentine's Day.

She sighed as she continued staring at a shell of her former self. She could feel the jar beginning to overflow again, but she clapped the lid on tight, not having enough energy to drain through tears. It would've been her first Valentine's Day with a real Valentine had it not been for that fucking nurse, Mal thought. That fucking nurse! Mal pounded her hand on the counter, the mirror in front of her shaking. She could hear Evie sitting up in bed, awoken by the loud sound coming from the bathroom. Mal cursed under her breath, her idea to wake up early backfiring. Mal clenched her fists and leaned her head over the sink as if she was going to spit out the bitter taste in her mouth. She shut her eyes and did her best to remain silent, hoping Evie would just go back to bed.

Like a stick of dynamite, the jar inside her exploded, the lid she had tightened only adding to the pressure of the jar. Her emotions flew out left and right, tears flooding her eyes and her muscles feeling even weaker. She tried to hush her sobs but failed to do so. Her left knee buckled which forced her to move to the toilet, sitting on it and crying into her hands.

"Mal?" Evie asked, now standing at the door, very troubled by what she heard. "Mal, what's wrong?" Mal sniffled and wiped the salty water from her face.

"Tell me what today is," Mal cried in a softer voice. Evie let out a sigh despair, aware of Mal's feelings. Evie wasn't sure how to deal with the situation, rarely seeing Mal act like this. Suddenly, she recalled having a container of brownies in her drawer from the dance. She prayed it might help. She took them out and put one on a paper plate. She opened the door to the bathroom just enough to slide the plate in and then shut the door again. Mal moved down to the floor, picked up the plate, and took a bite of the brownie, her jar starting to reform. She took a deep breath.

"Evie?" she asked quietly, hoping for company. Evie opened the door to the bathroom and walked inside, shutting the door behind her. Evie joined her on the floor and wrapped her arms around her. She kissed Mal's head and leaned the girl's head on her shoulder. Mal shut her eyes, beginning to calm down on the outside. But inside, the loneliness simply grew. She was deprived of the most important thing in her life. She didn't feel like herself anymore without Evie. She was like a zebra without stripes, a snake without scales, a Dalmatian without spots. She couldn't comprehend this feeling. She had had Evie nearly her entire life and, although she was still right next to her, it was as if she had disappeared completely. All she wanted was Evie back. The real Evie, not this fake Evie that she had been forced to become. Her Evie.