"You're the bastard who killed me!" (Alastor/Reader)

Who he used to be

GUYS THE NEW CLIP REALLY FUCKED WITH MY STORY SO IF THIS COMES OUT OF NOWHERE IM SO SO SORRY

(Alastor POV/second person)

(y/n) had eventually fallen back asleep, curled upon Alastors chest in a peaceful manner. Giving Alastor some time to think.

Unfortunately, the thinking wasn't really his favorite thing to do. Incessant memories always bothering him and what not. Every little fragment of life before (Y/N) plagued him like moths in an old curtain. Chewing holes in his brain, letting all the sane stuff drip out.

Stay sane for her

He just held his lover closer as she made soft grunts and noises.
She's so noisy!
Alastor chuckled, stroking her head and biting his lip in a nervous manner. He wanted to badly to wake her and talk. But he couldn't do that...this was good for her. She needed sleep, and badly.
Perhaps if he just...
Carefully maneuvering out of (Y/N)s grip and collapsing into to the floor in a tired, disheveled heap. Taking a minute to just lay there and stare at the ceiling, Alastor thought of where he should go.
Standing up, he brushed himself off and readied to go on a walk. A faint call of his name stopped him once he was halfway out the door.
"Alastor? Where are you going?"
It was (Y/N). Alastor smiled and stepped back in, walking to the bed.
"Just going for a walk dear. I'll be back soon unless you'd like to come with? things were getting quite uneventful around here." He smiled, sitting momentarily on the bed beside her.
His lover smoothed back her hair, seemingly contemplative. "Yeah—yeah ok, give me a second to get ready and I'll go. If you don't mind, of course."
Alastor shook his head "take all the time you need, I'm in no rush. It will be dark when we go out though, I'll have to protect you!" he teased, watching her eyes roll.
"Ha, I'll be counting on it then!" She laughed, standing up and stretching. Turning to him, she poked his chest, pushing him backward slowly "Now wait outside"
He grinned, closing the door behind him and leaning against the wall outside his room. The door creaked open and out popped (Y/N), in a maroon shirt, hair in a messy bun.
"Shall we?" he said, taking her arm and heading to the hotel exit.
"I was thinking we could go more into the city, see the sights? Tell stories? ask questions?" (Y/N) said once they were outside, and only on the outskirts.
"It's pretty crime-heavy but sure. I haven't been out and about in so long, you keep me in bed all day!" Alastor exclaimed, spinning his microphone/cane around and leaning onto (Y/N).
"I keep you in bed? Oh no my friend, if I had a dime every time you'd made me late to my job, i'd be rich enough to buy my way out of hell by now!" She yelled, giving Alastor a pointed glare. Laughing loudly, he grinned "Oh come now, i was only joking! I'm just not a morning person, is all."
"Not a morning person my ass." She grumped, poking him in the side. "You're a lazy bum"
He gasped in mock-offense, pretending to tear up and sob. Grimacing, he thought of how much he had worked to get something as simple as food.
"Not like i used to hunt for my food or anything"
"Eek! Don't hurt the babies! Did you not see Bambi?!" she screeched, shaking his arm and pouting in a cute way.
"Weren't you dead when that came out?"
"We still have movies down here. But have you seen the movie?"
"I'm afraid not." he breathed, strolling along and whistling slightly.
looking up at the tall buildings beginning to grow around him, Alastor smiled. The city here might not have been as great as the one on the mortal plain, but this one never stopped amazing him.
"I love the city lights, the way they practically blind me, all the ads and drugs everywhere...we never had this back him, did we?" (Y/N) said, looking up as well. Alastor nodded "the twenties were hard, even though the stock market crash was certainly entertaining. Oh so many orphans!" he giggled slightly, unable to contain his laughter.
The warmth from his arm was gone, Alastor stopped and looked back.
"Alastor...are you joking?"
He looked at her, inhaling as his smile faded quickly. How could he have been so careless?
"How could you say that?" (Y/N) said in a horrified voice, giving him a shocked look.
Alastor didn't respond.
Oh fuck.
"How could you say that! So many people starved to death! Do you not care about the thousands of orphans that had to be sheltered? Part of my family died because of that crash!" she hissed in a disbelieving tone. Looking him up and down, she stepped away.
Perhaps he'd lose her sooner than he thought.
"Alastor. Tell me it was some sort of sick joke. I need to hear this."
He didn't say anything, avoiding her gaze shamefully.
Why did he have to say that? It's just slipped out!
Alastor smiled sadly, shaking his head.
(Y/N) sucked in a quick breath.
"do you realize how many people were hurt? Wasn't your family hurt? Everyone in America was hurt!" she exclaimed, turning away from him.
Reaching out to her, he turned her around. Fix it. Fix it. "No, i didn't mean that (Y/N)! i swear! It was just the slip of the tongue, I promise!" he claimed, shaking her slightly.
(Y/N)s eyes swam with tears "Of course you meant it. I know you Alastor. The Radio Demon. I know what you've done. I've been trying to push it to the back of my mind ever since I met you! Don't you get it? I know who you are!"
Alastors grip lessened, looking away.

All of the things he'd done. How did he think this could ever work out? Everyone knew about him. It was madness to think he could get away with all he'd done, unnoticed by someone who had been here even longer than him. Cannibals don't get second chances. Psychopaths weren't given forgiveness. Murderers weren't allowed pity.

I don't deserve (Y/N).

She put a hand to her mouth "I thought you might have changed. I thought I could have changed you." Pausing, she looked him in the eye, and Alastor saw tears pooling. "Am I? Look at me and tell me you're better." She said sternly, wiping away her tears. He suddenly felt a wave of guilt wash over him bitterly. All this time she had known, and had let him sleep next to her? Touch her? Even look at her? How could she sleep knowing a killer was right there?
Alastor turned to her "You help me every day. I swear, you just have to understand that it's hard to change, I've been like this for so long (Y/N)! Years I've had this reputation...but now there's you." He looked into her eyes and kissed her cheek. (Y/N) turned away, confusion and turmoil flickered in her eyes, and it made his heart plummet.
"I want to believe it. I really do...but you say those things, and it's hard. it's so hard." her voice lowered to a whisper, cracking and shaky.
"And you don't?" he whispered, reaching out to hold her
"You talk in your sleep." She mumbled. He froze, a chill running down his spine. What had she heard? Surely she doesn't know about her murder or else she wouldn't be still talking to him.
What has she heard?
"What...what have you heard?"
She smiled sadly "Let's put it this way. Dying puppies, school shootings, and very...confusing things? It's all just screams and murder, blood, and tears. Fucked up things Alastor! " The last one was nearly a yell, sending shivers down all of his body, prompting Alastor to look away in shame. This was horrible. It was all unwinding, falling apart within the span of a few rushed, unthought minutes. All because of a few thoughtless words. "I'm sorry...I'm changing. You're changing me. I'm trying." He murmured, letting go completely.
(Y/N) hugged him softly.
"I know, and I love that about you. But some things you've done, I won't lie, they scare me. Don't you remember? You practically farmed you're...artwork...for all to see" He flinched, some of the shit he had done over the years was gruesome and traumatizing. All the bodies were strewn about, anyone who had a mind would stay as far away from him as they could. (Y/N) Shifted uncomfortably, rubbing her neck.
"I figured it was only a matter of time before this happened. I really didn't want it to, and I know you didn't think I knew? But when you live in hell, word of the most powerful demon to have existed in the last 100 years seems to make its way around" she smiled in a pitiful way, cupping Alastors cheek and turning around. He winced "I know who I used to be, and I promise, that demon, he's gone! Never to return!" he whispered frantically, gently resting a hand on her shoulder. (Y/N) gave him a dry chuckle.
"I'm sorry. It's just...dodon't say that stuff around me, ok?" she muttered, turning back to him and sighing, pinching the bridge of her nose. She grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. "Meet you at the hotel. We can talk later, ok?" she sighed, kissing his knuckles and turning away. Alastor nodded silently, standing still. Was it all crashing? no...this wasn't supposed to happen like this. I was supposed to still have time. Where's all my time? The voices, the screams. It's all coming back. It's too much. its too much

slumping over and sliding to the ground, shaking, Alastor held his head in his hands and thought over what just happened.

It was going so well.

Did I just lose her? Before the real problem was even spoken of?

What's going to happen when she finds out who I used used to be?

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GUYS DID YALL SEE THE NEW CLIP????? Imma DIE. I HATE HOW RUSHED THIS FEELS I JUST WANT THIS TO STICK WITH HIS REAL PERSONALITY IG

NIGHT (1666 words omg 666)