"You're the bastard who killed me!" (Alastor/Reader)

Broken bottles, and a gentle touch.

****EDITED*****

"Sorry, about the glass. I think I just got the jitters or something." You spoke up after the silence, swishing your new drink around.
Alastor laughed, bright and easy. You missed that.
"It's okay" He slyly said, smirking at you viciously. You weren't sure how you felt about that though, his gaze upon your face. Especially with a smirk like that.

Falling into a somewhat comfortable silence, you smiled and traced the reddish wood stripes of the bar counter, rubbing the chipped grooves with your fingers. It was actually calming, in an odd sense of bliss.

Looking to the Radio Demon that sat right beside you, you briefly flashed back to your dream.
Noticing your wide-eyed expression, Alastor frowned and reached out a tentative hand. "You alright?" He whispered, glancing around the chattering bar.

"Your eyes. They haven't changed" you muttered, shaking your head to clear the vision of blood and everything else that occurred that night.
Alastor grimaced, silencing himself.

"I think I need a breath of fresh air." You breathed, pushing away from the bar stool and rubbing your arms. The creak of footsteps upon wood planks alerted you of Alastors worrying presence.

In the alleyway next to the bar, you leaned up against the scratchy brick and rubbing your forehead, trying to dispel your growing headache.

"I thought I could trust you." You sighed,  fully coming to terms with it. "But you murdered me, Alastor." Although the words felt strange on your tongue, you were glad they were out in the open. "There's no excuse here, only the change to forgive. Slowly." You smiled sadly, glancing at Alastor who was standing patiently next to you in silence.

He looked startled for a minute, clutching at his chest even though he should've been aware by now.

"I know." He managed.

He grabbed his ears, running a hand through his hair "Alright. I'm sorry—but, you called me here."

You shot a glare at him, gritting your teeth together in exasperation. He seemed to notice his mistake and stepped to the side and leaned against the brick wall.

"I-"

"Alastor, I don't think you're in a position to be ridiculing me here." You thought over your current situation, growing steadily more angry with each passing minute. "It's your fault anyways..." you growled, folding your arms. "Maybe, if you just told me in the beginning 'hey, before we date, I murdered you!' then we could have been fine." You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose for what seemed like the fifth time.

Alastor, you noticed, got a bit offended by this. immediately tending up and changing his posture. He grimaced and narrowed his eyes at you, with the classic "I'm better than you" look, and it wasn't helping your current mindset.
"Ah yes, because the first time you see someone you murdered, you immediately tell them 'hey by the way, i sliced your body up and buried you in a hole—taking you away from your friends and family and sending you to hell" He cringed "of course, because that would've been the right approach." he hissed jabbing his cane into the ground, huffing as his face contorted into one of spite and annoyance.

"Oh shut up, you fucking piece of shit! I don't think you're even allowed to accuse me of anything, much less disagree!" You blinked away the sting you felt in your eyes "Do you have any idea how I've been feeling? Fucking years of rapists and traitorous little fuckers..."

You snorted, baring your teeth, sliding down the wall, "and then I meet someone, kind, loving, brave. Maybe a little insane. But do I care? Fucking hell no! Even if later on I find out he was the one who murdered me!"

You made a fist and covered your eyes, digging your nails into your head, catching them on strands of hair and scratching in vain. "I can't believe you. I—we—said things. Things om not sure I can believe in now."

"so 'i love you' didn't mean anything to you? Even when I said it back?" Alastor muttered, kneeling down to you, voice lowering to a sort of desperation. You shied away from him, glaring with a less-heated gaze than before.

"Shut up" you whispered; in vain.

"We were supposed to be...forever. and not just because we live in hell." He sighed, voice dripping with an unbelievable sadness. Who would have thought you'd bring him to this much of a wreck?

I guess that's the effect love can have on you.

Fucking dammit.

"I'm sorry, Alastor. I promise you, it didn't just mean nothing." You hesitantly took his hand in your own, shakily pressing it to your cheek. for a second Alastor looked taken aback "It meant everything to me, don't undermine what we had."

He paused, blinking.

"But shit happened—we're both fucked up, I think. And I don't know how to fix what we had" You mumbled, venerability shining through. Although Alastor would say it was ok to show that to him because he was Alastor.

"Trials and tribulations, (Y/N)" he murmured softly, twirling your soft hair around his pointy fingers dreamily. 
You pursed her lips and frowned slightly, pulling away from his hands.

I don't think I'm ready. Not yet.

"Sorry. It's all so...wrong. Everything's been ruined." then, with the guilt of an angel, you whispered "Is that my fault?"
Alastor pulled you into a comforting hug, despite how lanky and off he was. putting his chin atop your head while staring blankly forward, he mumbled something incomprehensible.

"No, never. I should have told you, and I'm so sorry for my...stupidity." he softly added after silence "It could never be your fault"

You nodded silently and hugged him back, and in that, you felt your hope grow.

...

EDIT: thank you to pink lady for the chapter name!!!
Imma cry u guys are so nice. Sorry i disappeared, i've been writing a Klaus Fanfic on AO3. Also i just didn't know how to properly convey their reactions to this so i needed time to figure that out.

Y'all make my day, and i swear, i've has the worst week. All of your comments really make it so much better, and don't think i don't see them!
If anyone would like me to point them to the Klaus Fanfic then i will gladly do so, unless none of y'all have seen the Umbrella Academy.

Thank you so much, and i will return to my 1-3 day uploading schedule.

(1145 words)