ON HOLD The perks of being a Hafizah

Ain't nobody wanna mess with me!

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Yahya POV.

I knew she wouldn't have taken it lightly and I should have known.

After clear moments of complete silence and Amatullah in a great deal of confusion, she had left which had left me with the aggravated, mournful and fustrated Zahra to deal with.

"Why did you have to bring it up?" She said in the midst of sobs.

"You asked me to for God's sake." I said making my way next to her to undo her scarf and undercap.

I placed her hijab on her bed and made her place her head unto my lap while stroking her hair.

"It's ok" I said softly.

"No it's not ok! He made you bleed and as much as I wanted to keep the memory out, it comes again and again and Yahya I don't know what to do" she said bursting again in a fit of sobs digging her head into my lap and letting her tears stain by trousers.

Nabila, our sister.....

The one who was individualised by Karim...ripped from her family, ripped from her Quran, ripped from Allah.

He led her on. Making her feel special.

Unaware of what was happening, we let her attend morning and evening classes but little did we know where she really went.

She was naïve, my baby, my sister, Zahra's only sister who after her shameful act, couldn't stand us and our rules and so ran away....ran away where? To an individual council house, being older than me.

The memories were harsh and pierced everyone in the heart and at this moment I had to be the one who didn't break up, break up from losing my Nabila.

Mom taught us to have sabr at that point when we discovered her secret but deep inside ummi cried, losing her daughter who refused the sight of us.

"I ain't muslim ok! You all stop embarrassing me yeah. Get lost all of you. I ain't want to see your faces again you here" she barked at the faces of the ones that really loved her.

"I am sorry mam, there is nothing we can exactly do, seeing as she is over 18 she has full right to live herself and so any further issues should be solved with the madam and she by the looks of it is not in the right mood".

That day broke everyone of our hearts. We tried to merge together. Love each other with all our lives and never letting go of our deen and try to, 4 years down the line, forget the past and let her live her life. Phonecalls failed and visits failed and we tried our upmost best...

"It's not your fault Zahra. And I am I'm sorry for bringing it up fatty. If mom sees you in this state, we will all be mince meat. I don't want mother to bring back the memories and we shouldn't be the cause of her sorrow." I said in an attempt to act wise and change topic before mother came in.

It was silent for 30 min and Zahra lay on my lap. Silently sobbing and so slowly she stopped.

"Come on fatty. We can't let mum see you in this state" I said.

"No" she spoke.

"It's comfortable" she said snuggling into my lap.

"Never knew that your lap had so much fat on it" she said.

"Get lost fatty. We know the one who looks like the real ladoo. Turn you into a bouncy ball" I said attempting to throw the situation behind us.

I reached for her arms and lifted her up making her touch the ground and lift her up again.

"Boing Boing" I said.

"You fat tramp let go of me" she said wiggling.

"I'm not two you idiot" she said as I put her down.

"Well you act like your shoe size" I retaliated.

"It's 6 for your information and trust me 6 year old are more mature than 17 year olds"

"Well last time I saw your shoes, big foot borrowed them"

She pushed me really hard into the wall making my arm dog into the wardrobe handle.

"Oooowwwwwer"

"Haha er" she retaliated.

She raised her hand but before she could strike, I rose up and in my distance was her hijab pin cushion....bingo!

I grabbed a pin. "Haha! I will move away from me of I were you"

"I want to see-you- try" she kept cutting everytime I got the pin closer to her.

Zahra screamed out her lungs and ummi came running in.

"Zahra!!! Habibti! What happened?"

She started at the sight of me with a pin directed at Zahra who still had red eyes from crying.

"Ya Allah! Yahya! What did you do? You! Seriously!"

She walked up to Zahra and stroke her head.....we all stroked everyone's head in our family it was what we did.

"Yahya!" Ummi said to me sharply.

"Zahra" I said to Zahra.

"Habibti, your eyes are red! What happened. Has Yahya got anything to do with this?"

"Yes ummi he made me cry!!" She forced out a laugh. "Of laughter"

You clever girl, that was so fake! I gave her failure stare and she just started to laugh hysterically.

"I am watching you Yahya" ummi said walking out.

"You are soo fake bro" I said to Zahra.

"Well mom fell for it and what?"

"Well she only fell for it because she knows my jokes are k

funny" I wiggled my eyebrows at her and left her room.

"Watch what happens to you Yahya. If I were you, I'll keep that beard of your close, cuz you ain't knowing when I am around" she said giving me a death stare.

I stared behind her. "Well you can do whatever you want with my beard if you do yourself a favour and get rid of that wasp behind you" I ran out the room to which Zahra started to scream from the non existent wasp.

Ummi have me a death stare to which i shrugged my shoulders. "Probably possessed by a jinn" I said to my mom to which she shook her head.

"Yahya, what am I supposed to do with you?"

"Get me a wife"

"Yahya!"

"I am only joking" I said laughing at my mother. "Just because your grandmother sat with you that week ago and explained to you all about marriage doesn't mean I am going to listen to her."

I loved my mom for that. She wasn't conservative. I was free to make my own decision as to when I was ready to take life changing decisions or not and so I was very lucky....extremely lucky in fact.

I have my mom a peck in her cheek and ran upstairs to which I attended to my blooded thowb and folded it and stuffed it in the depth of my wardrobe.

"There is so much you can conceal in life. A smile can hide torture, a laugh can hide screams, but within lies the truth to which always prevails. None can hide unless Allah swt wishes it to be"