College Students

❥ Chapter 53.

hi guys! i hope this is a better chapter and that you enjoy it.
❥
"Do you feel like you need more sessions?" Louise sits opposite me, her brown mousy hair sitting on her shoulders. Her eyes almost the same colour, they're so warm and welcoming.

"No" I answered truthfully. "I've learnt so much from our time together" I smile, hoping I'm matching her sense of warmth.

"What have you leant?" She moves into her normal pose when she's intrigued, her elbows rest on her knees and her palm provides a little shelf for her chin. I have all of her attention. That's one of the many things I love about Louise, she always listens and tries to understand everything I tell her. I know that's her job but she doesn't just bat me off with the same advice every time she really tries to dig down to the root of all my problems and she'll never forgot a thing I tell her.

"I've learnt that just because I have a bad day doesn't mean the next day has to be a bad day, it just gives me more motivation to inject as much positivity into the next day. Into everyday for that matter, even without the previous day being bad. I've learnt it's okay to not be okay, no one is okay all the time, It's impossible. It's how everybody functions, heals and grows. I appreciate a lot more now, even tiny things and that surprisingly helped the most, realising what and who I had around me. Learning to forgive my dad which is happening slowly and trying to reflect and find growth with what happened. And, I'm trying to love myself for exactly who I am because I'm a perfect version of myself, no ones perfect I know but I'm a perfect version of myself, not anyone else, myself. I'm putting myself first a lot as well and doing what's good for me because I need that during my self care" I finish with a proud smile. Hearing myself say all those thing out loud really has made me realise now far I've come.

"I wish the girl who was sat here all that time ago could of seen this" Her face is full of joy. "This job doesn't feel like a job to me and this is exactly the reason why. It's so rewarding to see people like yourself, so broken, so convinced that there was no bright light at the end of the tunnel finally see that bright light. I'm so happy and proud of what you've achieved and the life you're heading for" She takes my hands squeezing them. "I never thought I'd ever hear you say that you'd forgive your father, or even try to and I can't express just how proud I am, I know I keep saying that but really, that's truly amazing" I feel tears spill down my cheek.

"Thank you so much for your help" I try smile but more tears stream. "No, thank you. I haven't helped you at all, I've just guided you to help yourself. You should feel extremely proud of yourself Darcy, suffering mental health issues is the toughest thing in this world, the most dangerous thing in this world and fighting it is so hard but there is a way, and you've done it. You haven't let it destroy you, it came so very close but you pulled through and you're so strong because of that now" Her voice wobbles and I think she's close to tears.

I stand and hug her tightly. "Thank you for listening to me" I mumble over her shoulder. "I'll always listen, I'm always here" She pulls back, I smile into her eyes.

"If you think you ever need more sessions just email me and you can have as many as you want I'm always here" We stand with so much emotion. I can't believe so long but so little time ago I walked through those doors a completely broken person. I had no hope, no purpose and no will to live and now I'm here, excited to go on my days instead of dreading another one to come. Letting myself be happy where as before I didn't think I deserved anything remotely good. Louise is right, I should be proud of myself.

We part way when we leave the first aid room, we share a smile for as long as we're still in each others eye sight before I flit over to Issac. "Babe, what's wrong?" His eyebrows frown at my tears that are still leaking.