I'm back - 21 | the hard holiday

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𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚎'𝚜 𝚙𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚠
𝚝𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝚊𝚙𝚛𝚒𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚑, 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚠𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚢-𝚘𝚗𝚎

I twisted the key in the door, the stupid thing always gets stuck. I shove it open, my arms full of groceries. All of them, except the kumquats I couldn't find for the life of me. I walked inside, kicking the door shut, "Hey Mom! I got everything, but I couldn't find any kumquats-" I gasped, dropping the groceries as I took in the sight of my mother. 

She was on the kitchen floor and her breathing looked shallow, "Mom!" I yelled in a panic as I rushed over towards her. What did the doctor say to do when this happens? Think Annalise, think! Call 911, that's what. "Hold on, mom, everything's going to be fine." I tried reassuring her. 

I left her side only for a moment to grab the home phone, dialing 911 and grasping her hand in mine. She opened her eyes slightly when I gave it a squeeze, "Anna, hi," she whispered weakly. How had she gotten so bad in the half-hour I was gone?

I bit my lip as the tears started to build up, the situation hitting me. "Hi, mom." I held the phone to my ear as it started ringing, "You're going to be okay. We're going to get help," although I wasn't if I was telling the truth. 

There wasn't any blood, so she didn't fall. The only other explanation is the worst one: cancer.

She shook her head, "My sweet baby, we both know that's not true." She gave me a sad smile with tears in her eyes. "I know that you think you're not ready, but my time has come." Her voice was so soft, so weak. 

I shook my head vigorously, "No Mom! Please, don't say that!" I begged, she was struggling to breathe now. She started convulsing around me- I shot awake, my breathing heavy. I brought my hand to my cheek and felt the wetness of tears.

There was a knock at my door and Aiden popped his head in, "Annalise, you alright? I heard screaming." I nodded, not saying anything, I didn't trust my voice right now.

I swallowed and coughed, "Is dad back yet?" My father and I had hardly spoken lately. Between our fight and his new fiance, the relationship has been mostly made up of strain and tension. Aiden shook his head sadly, I scoffed. "Of course, he would skip out on being with us on a day like this, typical dad."

Aiden looked like he wanted to defend our father, but he didn't say anything else before shutting my door. 

I wiped the rest of my tears and climbed out of bed. I want to try and have a good day, it's what mom would have wanted for me- though it'll be a challenge, it's one I'm up for. I walk into my closet and stare at my clothes unsure of what to wear. Is anything good enough for today?

Today would be hard, but one thing has been looking up lately.

It's been almost a week since Zach and I started dating. Things have been good, really good. It's exactly what a relationship is supposed to be, he's my best friend. Though I'm not sure he's ready for the amount of baggage I haul around on a daily basis, especially today.

Because today is my mother's birthday, it would have been her forty-sixth to be precise.

I decided on something I would have worn normally when we still lived in Australia. I picked a matching cream and brown plaid button-down and tank-top, along with a cute pair of denim shorts. I slipped on my Birkenstocks and let my hair flow down my back in waves.

I didn't have the mentality to do any of my hair or makeup today anyways.

I didn't have the mentality to do any of my hair or makeup today anyways

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