Never Turn back ANIKA

Part 27: TRUST.

the nightmare-haunted anika to an extent, she can't able to think anything beyond. her fingers are yearning to call shivaay and ask about his condition whether he's fine or not, but she controlled herself when she saw Shreya sleeping in her embrace. whenever nats used to have video chat with her anika would have snatched the phone from her and will talk to Angie little knowing that she's talking to her daughter. she felt some unknown happiness and lightness after they talk, Angie also enjoys her company and used to ask nats about anika whenever she calls her. even though they are separated they are connected in some other way. but now after the nightmare anika's mind totally filled with shivaay. 

what are you thinking anika? you left him that's it... forget your promise soon that you won't think about your past... c'mon anika... -  her mind kept on repeating it but her heart is not ready to listen to it.

anika you're married to him... he deserves to know the truth... at least, call him and inform him. - her heart said. 

she becomes more confused with her inner fightings. so she immediately called the restaurant using telecom.

one latte, please. - she ordered and rested the phone. soon she made another call and changed her order to espresso. where she understood wherever she goes she can't able to leave him, sometimes we used to realize something very important in little things only. soon without wasting time she immediately switched on the phone to call shivaay. at the spot, she switched on the phone her started to beep continuously because of notifications where it is all from shivaay totally 4038 messages in the span of 8 hours. she became shocked, she can't able to think anything more than shivaay. her chain of thoughts disturbed by a door knocking sound. she immediately loosened the grip of Shreya and stood up from the bed.

she made her way towards the door, opened it where the server came with her espresso. she gave some tips to him and went off. then she slowly made her way towards the window and saw the phone lying on the bed. her hands started to shiver there's no courage left in her body whether to open those messages or to call and confront him. she stared the sky with a blank mind from her 1st-floor balcony. soon her eyes move towards the Red BMW car flew inside the hotel entrance. she saw shivaay inside the car, she can't able to believe her eyes. she remained numb and merely watching him. soon after that, she saw the same truck on the road which she saw in her dreams without her knowledge he shouted "shivaay" at the high pitch of her tone where shivaay immediately turned and spotted her where she fainted at the very next second. 

everything has gone blank, both her mind and heart urged her to wake up and make sure shivaay is fine. her life with shivaay when she saw him first at Anish marriage till the promise she made to shivaay before coming to new york glazed in her mind. where she found herself empty without shivaay. she understood how much she could try she can't able to detach herself from him.

 she's so weak because of continuous travel ... that too in this condition.  - anika heard a voice but she can't able to open her eyes or respond anything to them.

thank you, doctor. - shivaay said, where anika got relieved after hearing his voice, even though she can't able to respond to him, she felt relieved and relaxed after hearing his voice.

by then, an image of Shreya suddenly from wherever came to her mind, soon the relaxation in anika's mind changed into worries where she gathered all her left out strength and opened her eyes where her vision was not clear she saw shivaay staring sleeping Shreya shockingly with teary eyes. he didn't even notice anika who had opened her eyes.

she made herself to get up and thuds back because of weakness, shivaay noticed that and ran towards anika, where she again tried to get up but he forcefully made her to lye back. tears can't able to withstand anika's pain and guiltiness they continuously ran out from her eyes. shivaay noticed her condition but he's not ready to wipe it off.  

"shiv...shivaay" - the only words uttered from her painful heart. even though she wants to confront him she can't able to do so, not because of her physical condition, her mental condition also becomes so weak because of the happenings. 

"don't... take rest" -  shivaay told in a stern tone. anika can feel the difference but she can't able to identify whether it's because of her sudden missing or because of the existence of Shreya. there are lakhs and lakhs of questions running here and there in her mind. did he know the girl who's sleeping beside me is Shreya? will he accept her with me? will he accept her unknown past? will be able to give the same amount of love that he will give for the baby which was in her womb? will he love her like before?  but there are no answers. she slept with the heart full questions, pain and unknowingly shivaay's anika and Shreya's mom fighting with themselves. 

*****

where on the other hand, shivaay was totally in the broken state after getting know about his daughter existence and the decision of anika leaving him shook him to an extent. 

how can you do this to me? don't you trust me? why anika why? why it's always us? I can understand that you lost your memory, but can't you able to see the pain in my eyes of losing our daughter? at least you stayed with her for some months when she was in your wom and also held her once in your arms but what about me? I came to know about her existence and her demise at the same time, you won't understand how it feels anika. I always blamed myself for Shreya's demise. do you know how my heart yearned to see her face once? to touch her once? to hug her once?.ok, tell me what made you feel that I am not worth for being her father? 

thank god, he gave me the sign that you are gonna leave me forever by canceling my Seoul meeting and your unusual phone call. I flew to London before you could reach there. I think God also feeling pity for my condition that's why he sends me towards you. you have no idea anika when that lady called my baby illegitimate in front of me. then too I stayed silent in the trust that you'll call me and tell me everything. but what happened? you have broken my trust into pieces. my child stayed in the orphanage like an orphan even after having parents. see not only us our child lived in the hell these years. okay, I understand you don't remember anything about us but can't you just call me and tell me, discuss with me. how can you make decisions on your own? I am your bloody husband dammit and the father of the unborn child which is in your womb... I just can't able to imagine what would have happened when I stayed back in India on merely trusting your words? I would have lost you and my children forever... oh my god... you never loved me or trusted me anika... but I can't let you do this again... anika ever. till yesterday you matters to me the world but now I am going to live for my children I will never ever leave you to snatch my children from me.