bts imagines

❝empty❞ bts - angst

instantly flopping down the bed, I sighed. Once again feeling empty and... cold.

It was always like this.

I mostly spend my nights crying because of the fact that I was.... Alone.

Yes I have friends but they never really knew that I was like this.

They knew I have depression, yes. But all they told me was phrases like, "Just stop thinking about it." or "Hey, it's okay. Everything's going to be okay." or things like that.

But none of them never really helped.

Some also gives me pity and small smiles. But that's not what I want. I don't want pity.

I want comfort.

I want a shoulder to cry on.

Some of my classmates never really knew about my condition.

I'm known as one of the happy pills in our school.

I'm the kind of person who laughs my problems away. Who always says jokes to make other people laugh. I'm the kind of person who's always happy. Who's always smiling and laughing.

But no. That's what they think I am.

I'm happy at school.

But at home, I'm the opposite.

Unknowingly, I started crying.

Nobody was ever there for me. My parent were always away because of work.

Startled, I instantly shot up as I felt a hand rest on my back.

"w-what are you all doing here" I stuttered, hiccuping a bit. Tears continued to stream down as a pair of soft eyes met mine.

"We heard crying when we went inside. We were supposed to surprise you but we were the one surprised."
He stated as he slowly bought his warm hands to cup my cold and tear stained face.

"What's wrong y/n?" Seokjin softly stated as he wiped the tears that are still falling from my eyes.

I closed my eyes and let myself cry as Seokjin slowly carred my face.

"I-i...."I opened my eyes to see them all looking at me in concern.

"It's okay y/n. You can tell us anything." Jungkook stated as he walked to my bed and went behind me, back hugging me.

At that moment, I felt something I never felt for a long time.

I felt loved

"E-empty." I stated as I didn't know where to start.

"huh?" jimin confusedly stated as he tilted his head.

"I-i... feel e-empty and sad." I watched as their eyes slowly turned soft.

"empty? We're here for you. Your friends are always there. You parents--"

"You don't understand. I need love and affection not just company. I need hugs. I need soothing words, not just 'Just stop thinking about it' or 'everything's going to be alright' or 'you keep thinking about it. That's why you have that' or shit like that. I don't need pity."

"but you know y/n? They're also right. You keep thinking about it. You keep thinking about negative things, about problems. You should just let it all go--" i cut hoseok off

"Y-you dont understand! Nobody understands! If you're all just here to say what they all say, then leave! I don't want to hear that anymore! I'm tired! So fucking tired that sometimes I think of just letting everything go!"

"y/n--"

"Leave! I said leave!" I ripped seokjins hands frrom my face and wiggled my body out of Jungkooks hug.

I thought they were different. I thought they're not like them.

"I knew everybody's going to soon leave me."