bts imagines

❝ cuts ❞ ksj - angst

[🌙] : title : ❝ cuts ❞
[✨] : type : angst
[🍂] : member(s) : kim seokjin
[🍁] : side note : this chapter was originally requested by weird_kpop_girl but angstily_ever_after requested for a seokjin angst so basically, this chapter was to kill two birds with one stone LMAO

i hope you all understand. there's so many requests 😅

🌙

It's not that you felt unloved. In fact, seokjin was giving you all the love you wanted. He was spoiling you and taking care of you.

So why?

W-why have you been doing this?

Your eyes widened, looking at all the cuts on your wrist. As you threw the blade on the sink, you panted.

How even? I didn't even feel anything.

You were addicted. Addicted to the pain you've been feeling ever since. You needed it. You wanted it.

The hate you felt for yourself has driven so much pain that you wanted it relieved. You wanted it gone.

You looked up at the mirror in front of you. "I hate you." whispering to yourself. You cupped your cheeks as your tears flowed down along with the blood.

You're ruining yourself. Look at you. You're pathetic.

"Hell I know!" you shouted, continuing to cry. "Help me. Please." you pleaded to no one. As if drowning, you were desperate to rise up.

You were desperate for help.

🌙

Looking at seokjin, you felt yourself grew nervous. You were scared that he would find out. Unconsciously, you pulled your sleeves further down.

"Babe?" he called and you flinched, looking at him with wide eyes. "Can you—can you please scratch my back?" He said, turning his back towards you while his eyes were still fixated on the tv.

You started scratching a random spot on his back, not really knowing where he had an itch. "Higher." he said and you obliged.

"No— Not there—" then, suddenly, he grabbed your wrist. As you landed your eyes on them, you saw how your sleeve was slipped, exposing your cuts. "What—" he said, feeling something rough touching his palm.

He turned, eyes immediately landing on your wrist. He froze and you burst into tears, trying to pull your hand away. It all happened so suddenly, you were too shocked to even think.

He let go of your hand and you held it, crying loudly. "W-why?" he asked.

You shook your head, not wanting to answer. He looked at you with so much pain.

He's disgusted of you y/n.

"A-am I disgusting?" you asked and seokjin tensed. Then, suddenly, you saw a tear roll down his cheek. You felt yourself tense too. You hated making him cry.

"How could you even ask that?" he whispered, scooting closer to you and wrapping his arms on your figure. "I could never be disgusted of you y/n. I love you."

You looked at your cuts. It's all because of your them that he's crying.

You began hitting your wrists, crying because of the pain and hate you feel.

"Y/N stop! Stop!" he held your wrists lightly, making surely not to hurt you. You looked at his eyes, seeing that it was already so red. "Am I not enough for you y/n?"

You frozen this time, eyes looking at his pained ones. "Am I not enough for you that you do this?"

You shook your head, feeling weak all over. "No no no."

"You're more than enough seokjin I just—" you heaved a shaky sigh, "Don't think I don't deserve you. I hate myself. You don't need to be tied to me. You deserve someone better."

He held your chin, lifting it lightly "But I don't want anyone else than you."

"Tell me, do you love me y/n?" he asked.

"Of course I do. I—"

"Then stop thinking like that." he said, cutting you off. He hugged you again, whispering in your ear. "I'll help you throughout this okay? I'll be with you until the end and I'll watch you get over this sadness you're feeling."

"I'll always be beside you."

[🥂] : author's note
       — weird_kpop_girl im not that
            proud of this but i rlly hope
            you liked it :D

[📝] : total word count
        — 678 words