❝ it was only pity ❞ jjk - angst

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[🌙] : title : ❝ it was only pity ❞
[✨] : type : angst
[🍂] : member(s) : jeon jungkook
[🍁] : side note : this chapter was requested by angstily_ever_after

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(you are deaf here :) )

You were scared. You were scared of losing somebody you cherished the most. Just the thought of him growing further and further away from you was already alarming enough.

Did he still love you?

You glanced at him as he drove his car. Then you looked down, fiddling the hearing aid you brought with you.
You weren't really fond of wearing your hearing aid because it was too noisy.

But you were ready to risk it.

You wanted to know. Jungkook was only completely open with his feelings to his friends. So maybe, if he had a secret, he'd tell them.

Looking out the window, your mind passed the blurred memory of meeting him.

—past—

You only looked down, hood over your head as you walked on the busy streets of seoul. You felt your tears drop.

You were stupid. Stupid for ever thinking that your boyfriend loved you. With your situation, you were convinced that no one would eve want to see you as a friend.

You scoffed, "Of course, he only wanted minju." you whispered, referring to your so called best friend.

You were manipulated and used.

As you continued wiping your tears, your shoulder collided with someone's chest and you gasped, not looking up but immediately bowing.

As you headed to walk past him, you felt a grip on your wrist, turning you around. You frowned and looked up to see a man looking down at you with a soft smile.

He said something but of course, you didn't hear. Knowing that you didn't have your hearing aid on.

You tilted your head and fished out your phone. 'I'm sorry, I'm deaf. Can you instead type it in your phone?"

You showed it to him and his lips parted. He obviously chuckled, and smiled once again.

'Ah, I see." he expressed, using sign language. You were shocked, not expecting the fact that he knew sign language. "My grandmother is deaf too so I learned sign language." he explained.

Then he reached out his hand, "I'm Jeon Jungkook. Nice to meet you."

—present—

You were now seated beside jungkook in the restaurant, jimin on your other side as the others were seated too.

They talked for minutes, casually laughing here and there as you sat there, silent and bothered.

Jungkook turned to you and said (this means that he is using sign language. pleases use common sense :)) ) "Are you okay?"

You nodded, eating your meal. Soon enough, you stood up and excused yourself to the bathroom. You leaned on the sink, looking at your reflection.

Giving yourself a reassuring nod, you fished out your hearing aid, placing it on your ear. You turned it on, and heavily sighed. You then covered it with your hair.

Giving yourself a one last nod, you stepped out the bathroom, once again sitting between jimin and jungkook.

"Say, a-are you not guilty jungkook?" you heard taehyung say and your grip on the fork tightened. "I mean... You're kinda taking advantage of her."

You heard jungkook sigh and your gazed remained on your meal. "But I can't leave her hyung." He said, caressing your hair.

"I love hyeji but I can't leave y/n. She'll be alone and I— I don't want that." you bit your lip. It was all happening again.

"If you love hyeji then how do you have such courage to leave her and stay with y/n?" Namjoon asked.

"I don't have courage hyung." he explained. "I only have pity."

You slammed your fist on the table, gaining their attention. A tear slipped down your cheek as you said, (sign language) "How dare you."

"Everything was out of pity?" his eyes widened, confused and you tucked your hair behind your ear, exposing your hearing aid.

His lips parted and you turned to the boys, fishing out your phone and typing, "And you're all okay with this?"

"I— Y/N please—" you raised your hand, slapping jungkook. Then you stood up, tears rolling down your cheeks.

You ran out of the restaurant, tightly holding your purse as you whimpered. "Y/N wait please." you heard as he held your wrist turning you around.

Well this was funny. You met jungkook in the same circumstances. Fate really was playing with you.

"I—I don't wanna lose you please."

Jeongguk eight from the start where you started distancing yourself from me,

you already lost me.

You shook your head, your hand forming in a fist as you slammed it to your chest, slapping his grip on your wrist away.

"I—I twusted y-you." you blurted out for the first time.

You never really liked using your voice because everybody around you hated you for it.

He stood frozen, eyes rolling out a new set of tears as he heard your voice. Then, you turned, running away and you wiped your tears.

You didn't really feel intense sadness. What you felt the most was hatred and anger.

You were angry for ever letting yourself trust someone.

[🥂] : author's note
       — this was really hard to write
            because i wasn't used to this
            kind of things but i hope y'all
            okay with it. im rlly sorry if
            there was any mistake

[📝] : total word count
        — 898 words

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