Can I Keep You ♡ Taehyung/Reader FF ♡ Completed/Currently Editing♡

Chapter Seventy Three ~ Blame & Rejection

It was all her fault.

Taehyung told Y/N not to worry that night, he assured his mate everything would be okay and that he would explain everything the following day but she didn't listen.

Bam would still be alive if it wasn't for her calling and convincing him to escort her through the woods on some asinine quest to unearth Taehyung's secrets.

She knew now how foolish she was....how fucking selfish her actions had been and now because of her Bam was gone.

Y/N couldn't stop crying after discovering what happened, the pain of losing her friend was almost too much to comprehend. Tears soon turned to denial, convincing herself this was just some twisted nightmare and eventually she would snap out of it but when that didn't happen anger replaced denial. Y/N was furious with herself for causing his death, angry at Taehyung for leaving her that night even though it wasn't his fault and she certainly had no right to blame him for anything.

Y/N felt numb, she didn't want to eat or talk to anyone and so locked herself away in Taehyung's bedroom refusing to face her harsh reality.

School would be starting again tomorrow, the holidays were officially over but how could she even focus on her studies with all that was happening.

It just wasn't the same anymore.

Jisoo seemed to be dealing with her grief differently, it was obvious to Y/N that she was struggling but she never gave it the opportunity to consume her.

If only she could do the same.

Y/N was sitting by the window in Taehyung's room, watching as the world continued on without Bam.

How could she ever move on?

She knew that everything was going to change now and wasn't mentally prepared for it, how could she do this? How could they do this? Y/N knew the rival pack were formidable, extremely powerful and they obviously didn't plan on leaving until they got what they came for and that was the complete destruction of her pack.

Her pack.

They were family now and if she lost them it would completely destroy her, the idea of never getting to see Taehyung again made her feel physically sick.

With trembling fingers she wiped away a few tears that managed to escape, it amazed her that she still had the ability to cry....she had done it so much lately that surely she should be all cried out.

"Hey my love, you hungry?" Taehyung appeared in the doorway holding a tray of snacks, eyes red and puffy.

Had he been crying?

Y/N furrowed her brow, slowly getting to her feet.

"Taehyung what happened? Your eyes are all swollen, it's me isn't it? I know I've not taken the news well, I'm so sorry."

Taehyung shook his head, quickly setting the tray down so he could wrap his arms around her.

"I won't lie to you sweetheart, it's not been easy to see you like this. I know there's so much you still need to learn about our mate bond but whatever you feel....I feel. My heart is breaking and I feel like I'm failing you, please tell me what I can do?" He cupped her face, gently using the pads of his thumbs to wipe away her tears.

"I'm so sorry Taehyung, I'm trying....I'm really trying but I've never lost someone so close to me before and now I'm scared of what's going to happen. I don't want to lose you, I don't think I would survive it."

Taehyung hated to see her so lost, he was desperate to bring back a smile to her beautiful face.

"I promsie you'll never be without me, I'll always be here." He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Taehyung help me to forget, make love to me?" Y/N was frantic now, eager for something.....anything to take away the pain.

Taehyung frowned, he wanted to help her and take away the pain she was feeling but not like this.

Was it wrong of him to reject her? He loved Y/N and wanted to make her happy but was this the right way? When he made love to her it wanted it to be for the right reasons, not when she was consumed with grief.

"Baby, it's not the right time for us to be doing that. I love you so much but...." He paused, hating the way she immediately stepped away from him.

"You're seriously saying no to me? You asked me what you can do to make me feel better and now you're saying no." Y/N was furious, not to mention extremely embarrassed and hurt by the rejection.

"My love don't be like this, you know why I'm saying no." Taehyung tried to reach for her hand but she pulled away.

"No I don't so please enlighten me! You're supposed to be my mate? What happened to that huh?! I'm here asking you to help me forget and you're saying no!"

Taehyung understood she was grieving, he knew her reaction was this extreme because she was struggling to control her emotions but the moment she questioned his bond to her something snapped.

"DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION OUR BOND! I love you something fierce, I want you happy again but when I make love to you it shouldn't be like this! I don't want to be inside you knowing you're only doing it to forget your friend and what happened!" Taehyung had never spoken to her like this, it broke him apart to do so and his wolf whined when Y/N's bottom lip trembled.

"I need you, Taehyung please." Y/N wasn't thinking straight, she was so messed up emotionally that she completely disregarded his feelings on the subject.

"Y/N you're not listening to me....I'll do anything to make you happy again but I'm not going to sleep with you when you're so distraught. Please.....this isn't because I don't love you or don't want you because I do."

"Fine, whatever you want Taehyung." Y/N just needed to get away from him, the one thing she wanted that could possibly help ease her suffering he refused to give.

"What are you doing?" There was panic in Taehyung's voice as she started grabbing her things.

"We've got school tomorrow, need to get home and prepare for that." Her tone was cold, devoid of any emotion and that broke Taehyung.

Was it wrong of him to refuse her?

"I can't believe you Y/N, after everything we've shared and you honestly question my love for you. If you want to go home then I won't stop you, I love you and always will but that doesn't mean we won't disagree at times....that we won't argue. I'll be downstairs, once you're ready let me know and I'll take you home."

Y/N waited, hoping he would change his mind but he never did.

The moment the door closed and she was left alone in the room tears clouded her vision.

Was she wrong expecting him to do that? Was she wrong to say what she did?