Dear Daery

- PSYCHOTHE(W)RAPHY -

I am supposed to do my assignment for Calculus but thanks to that magnificently horrific accident in front of coffee stall now my mood for being productive and ambitious person now vanished just like that. If you are wondering about my mood here let me tell you. Have you ever met a girl when she is in PMS kind of condition? Wait how I know that? I have been experiencing for like 20 year now since my sister can turn into vicious bear or the most dramatic Indian Bollywood woman. Where everything become heightening? When you didn't feel like doing anything just staying in bed staring at the ceiling or when every single song in your playlist seems boring so you click next repeatedly until it back to the first song? Or when everyone around you make you irritated? Yup, that is me right now.

But my dear friend, the worst is not yet about to come. When I thought the worst thing I have is when I am having that very long and rough night until it producing a black circle under my eyes. That was the moment when I realize I was totally wrong because this is the worst of the worst. I can sleep indeed at night, because I hit the gym so I felt exhausting and fell asleep after, but the overthinking and avoiding games is about to begin. Shall we start?

First of all, here I am in the second session of Thursday class, but my mind is somewhere left behind. I keep my eyes stares on the white board and the static motion of presentation. Everything was fine until the professor is asking me 'what is the purpose of Industrial Engineering?' and all I can do is sitting still dumbfounded because my brain stop working for sudden question.

"Young man, I think you should wash you face in case you are sleepy." This is embarrassing as I can see the folks began snickered and giggles a bit. "Hey I am not sleeping, thanks to my brain who doesn't work properly nowadays which need some service and annual maintenance." I want to defense myself but I let it hidden in my thought.

I wash my face and let the water slide by itself all over my face. I look at the mirror like someone who is frustratingly pissed off. This thing is never going anywhere. I knocked my head to regain my consciousness.

"Focus Daechawut... don't let emotion control you." I wash my face again for the last time, grab some tissue and leave the restroom. I was drying my face when suddenly I bump into someone.

"Aish P'Kong... Sorry khrub P'Kong, I didn't see you there."

"Oh it is okay Dae." He then turn back and come to restroom. A piece of flashback appear in my mind. "Sometimes all you need is someone to hear your story." He is right, may be this is the time I ask to P'Kong about him.

"P'Kong khrub, did you have free time this evening or maybe tomorrow?"

"Me? I think I don't know about evening but I think I have free time this afternoon? Why? Do you need something khrub Dae?"

"Oh no... I just need some eating company, but if you have something it is okay..."

"If you have free time at 4 you can line me. Oh I haven't have your Line ID." I think everyone in this campus haven't got my line ID.

"Sure P'..." I gave my phone and let he input his ID and add me as friend.

"Then... see you at four..." He then continue his business in restroom, while I do mine.

The rest of the class I don't remember correctly, because I feel like zone out most of the time lately. I don't do lunch only some snack for lunch, because I have promise at four to eat outside. A sandwich and a coffee is a perfect duo for snack to accompany my doing Calculus assignment, because deadline is nearly come.

Now I believe a nice meal, like sandwich, can build up your mood. I finally became back to the usual productive and ambitious Dae. The task for Calculus is done, I can a little bit follow the missing chemistry lecture, and everything became mood booster I hope I don't meet him just do destroy all of the mood I have rebuild. Engineering process seems a bit faster, I don't know because it is my mood, or simply because it is enjoyable lecture and professor is seems quite handy when it comes to teaching this subject I feel the time come fast as I have full of 6 pages of noting this and that, collecting everything he said or he write.