Melody 5 - Rising Stars

7 (iv) - Kat

--- KAT ---

Kat bristled as her papa asked her again. "Katya, pass me the salt."

She continued to eat her dinner and refused to look at him. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Stefan reach for the salt and go to pass it to their papa.

"No!" shouted Andrzej. Then he caught himself and lowered his voice. "I asked Katya to do it."

Kat pursed her lips, picked up the salt and pointedly placed it in front of him. She still refused to speak though.

"Thank you, Katya," cooed Andrzej. "That wasn't so hard was it?"

The rest of the meal passed in an excruciating manner. Kat would speak to Stefan and Lucas, whilst Andrzej would only speak to Kat. Kat spoke to him as little as she could get away with, to try and reassure the boys that all was well, but Andrzej simply doubled his efforts to engage her in proper conversation. Fortunately Dani was having dinner at a friend's house and didn't have to participate in this ridiculous pantomime.

Andrzej had been back home for exactly three days - but it had felt like three months. He was putting on a good show of being jovial and kind - the perfect papa! But Kat wasn't fooled. She knew he was always itching for his next drink; desperately counting the minutes until he could sneak a sip from his secret stash in his room. Kat didn't mind that he was still drinking - she knew it would be harder on all of them if he went cold turkey, but it was the lying she couldn't bear. Why didn't he just admit that he still had a problem, instead of trying to convince them that there was nothing wrong - that they were just like a normal family?

Kat had resisted his return for as long as she could, but eventually Auntie Vi had insisted that he come back. She said he was sorry and would now be a loving and repentant father. Kat thought that Auntie Vi had just got sick of him lolling on her sofa all day and stinking the place out with his roll-ups and BO.

Either way, he was back. Kat had taken steps to improve their safety. She'd moved into Lucas and Stefan's room saying that she wanted to be close to Lucas, so she could comfort him during his nightmares, and had secretly put on a lock on the door. She had also surreptitiously fixed a bolt on Dani's door.

She'd also spoken with a social worker called Carole Peters. She confided in her that she didn't feel safe around her papa and Carole had given her a number to call, anytime - day or night. Carole had also said that she would pop in from time to time to see how they were all doing. In fact she'd popped by that evening, as they were settling down to dinner. She hadn't stayed long, but Kat was sure Carole could sense the tension in the air. Of course Andrzej put on a big show of welcoming her and making her a cup of tea, which he made with far too much milk and forgot to put in the sugar Carole had asked for, but she'd graciously finished the cup anyway.

As soon as she'd gone, Kat could tell Andrzej had been annoyed by her visit and was making Kat suffer for it. Well, he could be as annoyed. She wanted someone to keep an eye on them whether he liked it or not! Whether it actually made any difference was another matter.

As they were clearing up, Kat saw that Andrzej had used up nearly all the milk. During his ham-fisted tea-making attempt, he'd split half on the worktop and poured about five gallons into Carole's tea. They'd need some for the boys' cereal in the morning.

"Come on, boys," said Kat. "We have to go to the shop."

"Ohhhh," moaned Stefan. "I want to watch some cartoons."

"You can watch one when we get back."

"But I wanted to watch one now," whined Stefan.

"I can keep an eye on them," said Andrzej.

"Absolutely not," said Kat, breaking her vow of silence to contradict such a suggestion.

"Ohhhh please," urged Stefan.

Kat looked at Lucas' worried little face whilst Stefan was bursting with delight at the prospect of a couple of cartoons before bedtime.

"You can stay, Stefan," said Kat. "I'll take Lucas with me."

"No," smiled Andrzej. "Both boys stay with me."

"No, mama," cried Lucas.

"She's not your mama," said Andrzej. "Your mama left you, remember?"

"Papa, don't..." said Kat.

"He stays with me. His Papa," said Andrzej firmly.

Kat was about to protest.

"What's the problem, Katya?" asked Andrzej with mock innocence. "Don't you trust me?"

Kat certainly did not, but she knew to admit to such a thing in front of the boys, particularly little Lucas, would only make him more fearful than he was already. She wanted to reassure little Lucas that all was well and that he could feel safe, so for Lucas' peace of mind, she reluctantly conceded.

"Of course I trust you," she said with a tight smile, as she got her coat and purse. "Won't be long," she announced as she headed out.

Kat raced to the corner shop as fast as she could, grabbed a carton of milk and waited for an age as the person in front checked countless lottery tickets for his syndicate. Eventually, she pegged it back up the hill and was about to burst inside but the door was locked.

Why was it locked?

She'd told her papa that she'd only be gone a few minutes. Why would he lock the door? What was he doing inside?

She banged on the door.

No answer.

She banged again. Louder. More frantic.

"Open the door," she yelled. "Papa, open the door!"

It wasn't lost on her that this is the exact position that her papa was usually in when he came home roaring drunk from the pub without his key.

Why hadn't she taken her key? Why hadn't she thought ahead properly? And why on earth had she left the boys alone with her crackpot papa?

Suddenly there was movement at the door. At last! A jingle of keys. And suddenly the door opened. It was Dani.

"What's wrong?" asked Dani. "Why are shouting like that?"

"Where are the boys?" said Kat breathlessly.

"Watching TV."

"Why was the door locked?"

"I've just got back. I didn't know you were out, otherwise I wouldn't have locked it."

"Oh," said Kat, suddenly starting to relax.

Just then, their papa appeared at the kitchen door.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

"Yes," said Dani. "Kat was locked out, that's all."

"Is that all?" said Andrzej, taking in Kat's ashen face and slightly shaking hands. "I hope you weren't worried about the boys, Katya. You've no need to worry when they're with me."

When he turned and left, Kat felt tears fall down her face. Whether they were from relief or fear, she didn't know. But she did know one thing - she couldn't take living with her papa for much longer.

Kat raced upstairs and locked herself in the bathroom. As she looked in the mirror, she shuddered at what she saw. She knew she'd never been the most attractive girl in the world, but the tired, drawn, tear-stained face that stared back at her, was even less appealing than usual. And it didn't help to think that she hadn't uploaded any new music videos online for weeks, in fact she hadn't worked on any new material since her abandoned audition. As Kat studied her reflection more closely she saw that she was slowly turning into an anxious wreck, who spent more time worrying about how to protect and look after the kids, than doing what she really wanted - sing.

Kat took a sharp intake of breath as she realised she was becoming just like her mama - but not in a good way.