Melody 5 - Rising Stars

8 (iii) - Kat

--- KAT ---

As she walked into the audition room, Kat hoped she wouldn't have to shake hands with anyone; hers were cold and clammy. She was wracked with nerves but knew she had to make the most of her chance. She'd been stunned when Lena had phoned to say that a spot had opened up in the band and would she like to audition - in two days time. She'd immediately accepted, but then the usual doubts had crept in. How could she leave the kids with her papa? What if he flipped out again? Who would look after them? Who would protect Lucas?

That night, she'd confided in Dani.

"You've got to go for it," insisted her sister.

"But what about you and the boys?"

"I guess it's my turn to look after everyone now," said Dani, without a trace of resentment.

"But you're still at school."

"And so were you when mama left. Kat, you've got to do this - for all of us. If you make it, then you can buy us a big posh house, with servants and a swimming pool. Two swimming pools!" joked Dani.

Kat knew that even though her sister was trying to lighten the mood, she was nervous about being left in charge. If such a thing was possible, it made her love her sister even more.

"Kat, you haven't been yourself for weeks. You've got to get out of here. Besides, papa doesn't give me as much of a hard time as he does you. Probably because I don't remind him of mama," sighed Dani.

"But what about Lucas?" said Kat. "Papa torments him so much."

"I'll look after Lucas. I promise."

Kat burst into tears as she hugged her sister. "And I promise I'll make you proud of me," said Kat.

"Just promise you'll make me your stylist!" smiled Dani, reminding Kat of her own longed-for dream.

And so Kat held her head up high and was determined to give the audition her best shot.

She normally felt stupid and awkward around new people - particularly girls her own age. They usually made her feel like an outsider, but these girls were different. The glamorous girl with the red hair seemed a little 'off', but the rest of them were friendly and open, and Kat loved the way they'd arranged the room, so she immediately felt part of the group. So when it came to singing, Kat found that her nerves had subsided and she was actually looking forward to showing these girls what she could do.

As Rhian, pressed play on the CD player, the soothing opening chords of Kat's self penned song, Water Harmony, kicked in. It had been inspired by the lake she'd used to visit in the park with her mama, who'd loved sitting on a bench and watching people walk round the water's edge. She'd encouraged Kat to look at their faces and see how calm and happy they were by the water. Once her mama had left, Kat often visited the lake, but had struggled to enjoy it without her mama's soothing presence. Until one day she'd been inspired to write a song and it had all fallen into place again. As the gentle strings and controlled electronic beats fused together, Kat began to sing...

Soothe me

Your ripples soothe me

They take me to a place I never knew

All of you can move me.

I go under

Yet I wonder

Just how far away you need to go

Show me all I need to know.

Choose me

Your shimmers choose me

They light up my heart and make it sing

Everything can lose me.

So I go under

Yet I wonder

Just how far away you really are

I bear the scar

But know we're looking at the same star.

By the end, Kat could almost feel her mama stood next to her and she wished with all her heart that she really was there.

"That was beautiful," said Molly.

"Fantastic," agreed Jadine.

"It was so good, I almost wet myself!" enthused Rhian.

Kat laughed and imagined her mama smiling proudly beside her.

"Can you dance?" asked Amy.

"Yes, I did modern and jazz dance classes." Kat suddenly faltered. "But I had to stop a couple of months ago, because of...family reasons."

The warm sensation of her mama's presence slowly started to fade.

"Don't worry," said Molly reassuringly. "That's what most of us have done."

"Well, I think we're done here," said Amy.

"Unless you've got any questions," added Jadine.

Kat's mind was racing. The only question she wanted to ask was - had she got in? Instead she plumped for, "when will you let people know?"

"We'll be in touch later today," said Jadine.

"Okay," smiled Kat. "Lovely to meet you all."

And with that Kat headed out into the bustling London street dragging her suitcase with her. She'd packed it, in case she got into the group, and then she wouldn't have to go home. But even if she didn't get in, she knew she couldn't go back. Her papa would go ballistic over this and her life would be completely unbearable.

There was nothing else for it - she had to get in.