12 (iii) - Rhian

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--- RHIAN ---

“Can Psylence get away with this?” fumed Jadine.

“Yep,” said Lena.  “His manager emailed me a copy of the release form Rhian signed.  She pretty much waived away all her rights.”

“I can’t believe he didn’t even pay her,” said Molly.

“Well, she didn’t do it for the money,” added Kat.  “She said she wanted the experience.”

“Well, she got some!” said Amy.

Rhian hated that the girls were talking about her like she wasn’t there.  But then, she seriously wished she wasn’t there.  Instead of being perched on a stool in their make-shift studio, she wished she was back home in Wales.  But even in dull and dreary Penarvon she wouldn’t be able to escape Psylence and his vile video. 

She imagined her ex-classmates watching it – the girls would probably think she was a total slut and Kyle’s mates would crack a stream of vulgar jokes.  Even worse, she thought about her family watching it – her mum would be disgusted, her dad would want to kill her and her older brothers would probably want to kill Psylence!

Worst of all, it brought to life the horror of that awful night all over again.  After telling the girls about it, Rhian had tried to block it from her mind.  Easy during the day when she was busy, but when she was caught off guard or in her sleep, it all came back as vividly as the night it had happened - and always with grotesque twists…

Rhian rubbing up against Psylence in front of a faceless mass of dancing bodies.

Psylence forcing her onto a sofa covered in rats.

Jadine and Lyric hammering on the door but unable to get in.

Her nightmares ran wild - what would have happened if Jadine and Lyric hadn’t turned up?  What would Psylence have done to her afterwards?  What would she have done to him if she’d found the knife sooner?

Rhian always woke in a panic and Molly would come over, climb into her bed and stroke her sweat covered brow until she drifted off again.  In the morning, Molly would be back in her own bed, and when she raised the subject of the night-time horrors, Rhian would smile and say she was fine. And in the bright light of a brand new day, Rhian thought she was fine.  She’d even allowed herself a little crush on Jake Miskew!  But she never felt completely at ease.  At the parties last night she’d stuck with one of the girls at all times; and when a cute footballer had tried to chat her up, she’d bolted to the toilets.

And now with views increasing by the second, the video for 2 On It was an embarrassing reminder of that fateful night, for all the world to see – including the girls.  Surely they must think she got what she deserved from Psylence.  After all, in the video they saw her taking her top off, cavorting around in her bra and mini skirt, sucking his fingers and letting Psylence touch her pretty much wherever he wanted – but only because the director had told her to! 

Rhian could hear them all still talking about her.

“She might not want to perform at the Festival,” said Molly.

“She has to,” insisted Jadine.  “If only to show Psylence where he can shove his tasteless track!”

“I am here, you know!” yelled Rhian, shooting off the stool.  “And I know you must all think I’m a stupid slut!”

“Oh sweetie,” said Molly, rushing to her side.  “No one thinks that!”

“But I’m not.  I’m not a slut!” cried Rhian, flopping back down and burying her face in her hands.  “I haven’t even had sex yet!”

Molly took Rhian in her arms and hugged her.  “No one thinks you’re a slut.”

“You must do,” cried Rhian.  “After seeing me in that video – behaving like a slut!”

“Honestly,” said Kat.  “We don’t think that about you.” 

“It’s such a double standard,” fumed Jadine.  “The equivalent word for a guy is a stud and that’s considered to be a good thing!”

“I don’t think now is the time for sexual semantics,” pointed out Amy.

“It’s the perfect time,” said Jadine.  “Girls always have to put up with more bullshit than guys and that’s why we should still perform at the Festival.  Show Psylence and everyone else that we’re better than he is!”

“Even though he’s going to be there?” asked Kat.

“Especially because he’s going to be there!” steamed Jadine.

Rhian had no idea who they were talking about.

“Who’s going to be there?” she asked.

The girls all looked at her askance.

“Sweetie, haven’t you been listening?” asked Molly.

Rhian shook her head and the girls exchanged worried glances.

Jadine stepped forward.  “Psylence is performing at the Festival too.”

Rhian’s stomach lurched and she thought she might throw up on Jadine’s Converse.

“But, Psylence told me he’s got a record contract,” flustered Rhian.  “I thought the Festival was only for…”

“Acts that have been with an indie label for less than a year can still perform,” said Lena.

“You might as well tell her the rest,” said Jadine.

“Psylence has asked for you to perform with him,” added Lena.   “He reckons it’ll be good publicity for you both.”

“No way,” said Rhian. 

“Exactly!” said Jadine.  “We’ll tell where he can shove his publicity.”

“No, I can’t perform at the Festival at all,” quivered Rhian.

“Hang on,” said Jadine.  “We still have to perform our set.”

“But he’ll come and find me,” cried Rhian.  “I know he will.”

“We’ll be with you,” said Amy.  “We won’t let him near you.”

“I can’t,” cried Rhian.  “I can’t!”

Rhian raced out of the room.  As she ran down the stairs she heard Jadine say, “If she pulls out, we’re screwed.”

With tears streaming down her face, Rhian felt like a total failure yet again.  How come she was such a magnet for trouble?

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