Emison || Old Habits Die Hard

Here Goes Nothing

~Ali POV~

School was over. I couldn't concentrate, because all I could think about was Emily. She was so perfect. Last night...I couldn't get it out of my head. We got into her car, and I knew I had to ask her.

As we walked up the stairs to Emily's room. I worked up my nerve. It was so simple. I just had to ask.

"Em?"

"Yeah Ali? What's up?" She wondered. The tone of my voice gave it away.

"Well...last night was amazing. But it seemed like you-"

She sighed. "Like I knew what I was doing."

"Yeah. Have you ever...you know." I trailed off.

She looked at me. Emily was crying. She never cries. She looked destroyed. "Ali. I love you and only you. But when I was drunk...I didn't know what I was doing but, it didn't mean anything. I barely remember it. I... Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad. I love you. I don't care what you did before. I only care what you do now." I said, honestly.

She didn't look convinced. "No. You should be mad. I am disgusting. How can you even look at me?"

"Because I love you. I've never felt this way about anyone else."

"How about you?" She asked. "Did you ever..."

"You were my first." I said, kind of embarrassed, because I was the queen bee. Everyone expects me to be a slut. "I couldn't find the right person. I wasn't able to go all the way with any boy...or girl."

Tears rolled down Em's cheeks. "That makes me feel even worse. You saved yourself...and I did it with people who I can't even remember. I don't deserve you."

I kissed her, hard and immediately deepened the kiss. She smiled, and I few seconds later, so did I. I pulled away.

"I love you." I murmured. "I don't care what others think."

"I love you more Ali."

~Emily POV~

What was wrong with me. Ali didn't care that I've had sex before. But she should. It's a pretty big deal. Why. Why did I get drunk every night. I'm lucky not to have any STDs.

Ali was sleeping, her head on my chest. I felt disgusted. She was a virgin and I wasn't before we did it. I had to tell her about the picture. She'll break up with me for sure, but maybe it's for the better. I love her, so much. But as they say, if you love someone, let them go. I was restraining her from having a decent love life, with someone who deserves her.

When she wakes up. I needed to promise myself. Once I look into those drop-dead gorgeous eyes, I know I'll forget why I wanted to tell her in the first place. I don't want to hurt her. I can't lose her. She's my everything. But I know I will. After all this drama, she deserves to know the truth. The whole truth.

I hate secrets. They tear you apart, little by little, until you break. I am broken. No one can fix me. Not even Alison. It's my past, and I have to own up to it. It will ruin me. For good.

She's still sleeping. I hope she has happy dreams. Unlike my nightmares. I get them everyday. But Ali helps. Just being with someone who actually loves me, someone who doesn't use me, is priceless. And I'm going to ruin it. Of course I am. I ruin everything good.

I couldn't bring myself to say it, all these days. I was selfish. I wanted her to myself, because I loved her. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. Ali doesn't know what she's getting into. I have a dark past and I don't want her involved. I need to do what's best for her. If she really does love me... I am such an awful person. I made her fall in love with me. I could've kept distance. Kept her safe. Kept her innocent. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve anything.

Sorry for the short chapter. I see Emily is having bad thoughts. Will she go through with her plan? Will Emison survive the night? Dirty, dirty Em. What did she do in her past? The next chapter... Oh god. Be ready for it!!! I'm not as bad as Marlene King with ships!😂😂

-Skye❤️