The door closed as I slid down my door, sighing in frustration. I had been waiting for three whole days, with a tempted mind a thumping heart. Waited for her to tell me that she finally told him. That he didn't need to live in our big lie any longer. That I could finally beg for forgiveness. But no message like that. No call. Just small convos of her asking me how I was.
The fact that there was eleven days left made me so sad. Two weeks had never felt this long. I begged for this to end. This endless waiting, this fear of her not doing it on time. I felt, devastated. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Did we deserve this? Would me and Lisa together work? I quickly realized my thoughts and tried to shake them outta my head.
But it was hard. The girl in the mirror looked so tired. Eye-sacks were fluffed as the tears were streaming down her dry cheeks. Her lips were bruised and she tried to wet them with her saliva, her eyes screaming in agony. She looked skinnier, less happy and more obnoxious. That was my reflection.
"What have I become?"
My voice croaked out as I chuckled dryly, my fingertips tracing my more visible jawline. I looked pitiful. I hated that. I sighed as I helplessly stood up from the cold floor, stumbling towards my bed before plopping my body down on it, quickly closing my eyes again. Forcing my whole body to wander off to dreamland. I was sick of this world.
—
LALISA
"Baby, do you need anything from the grocery store?"
Jungkook's voice echoed throughout our apartment. I was busy drawing, but stopped when his voice reached my ears. I thought of what I wanted and what we needed in our fridge.
"What are you going to buy?"
"No bread left so I thought why not go and buy some groceries."
"Okay~ Buy me some strawberries, please?"
He chuckled as I heard the door open.
"sure, see you later~"
"mmm~"
The door closed and I looked down at my papers. I had drawn chaeyoung. It had been pretty hard to keep in contact with her now that jungkook had been home. But he would finally leave for work again tonight, so I could talk with her in peace. After jungkook came back, he seemed less horny, more careful and just plain strange. I had tried to make him warm up but of course he would feel bad for doing what he did to me, even though it wasn't a hundred percent his fault.
I myself felt bad. I had to end it, but there was just something inside of me that made me hold back. I had grown too used to him. I was scared of hurting him. But it was a matter of morality. If I stayed with him, I would hurt myself, chaeyoung and him too, if you think in longer terms. If I put an end on this, I would hurt him the most, but he would have to get over me. I could make him hate me. That was my plan. I don't know how it was going yet so far, but I really had to step up my game.
Out of boredom, I went on my phone, scrolling down my Instagram feed.
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@/chverosie
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❤️ 934 likes
@/chverosie ; I miss u :(
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I smiled. She was mad cute. I missed her so much. But she seemed sick? Had she got thinner? With a worried face, I quickly typed a
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@/mvnobvnlisa ; cutie <3
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before I pouted. I was doing so much damage. I really had to get a hold of myself.
