quiero cabeza????
-I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight-
Jahseh Onfroy
"Are you okay?" Stokeley asked me for the seventh time.
"I'm fine Stokeley," I said again for the seventh time.
"Why didn't you tell me he raped you?" He asked. I tensed up and looked at the blankets on our bed.
"That's not something I was open to talking about," I stated.
"Yeah but I feel really bad, like when we first met and earlier in our relationship, I feel like I was sally pushy with us having se-"
"No stokeley." I stopped him. "It wasn't like that, we both wanted it, it was fine." I told him.
"Yeah but I was pushy a-"
"And so what? I love you and you never hurt me in that way. If you did, or ever do, Id tell you." I told him.
"Promise?" He asked.
"I promise, now can we stop talking about this please?" I asked. "It's making me uncomfortable."
"Yeah," he nodded his head. I looked up at him and I could tell there was so much more he wanted to say. But he was holding back.
I ignored it, not wanting to dig into my past at the moment.
I moved over to his lap and laid my head on his chest, straddling him. I stuck my thumb into my mouth.
Something is slipping away in me....
Stokeley:
Jahseh stuck his thumb in his mouth and then his eyes glossed over.
"Seh?" I rubbed his back.
He looked up at me with his thumb in his mouth, and grabbed a fistful of my shirt, he snuggled into his chest.
"Dada," he looked up at me with tears in his eyes.
"What's wrong baby?" I asked my two year old little.
Jahseh became a little some time during tour. It happened the first time when I took him to see Trolls in the movie theaters.
It didn't happen more than once a week, but recently he slips a lot. I think he just wants to escape reality. Because to be honest, our reality stinks right now.
I reached to his face and wiped some tears away, "shh shh don't cry baby." I told him.
"Dada bwad man," he cried.
"Who?" I asked.
"Bon-aw-tan (johnathan)" He quivered his lip.
"He won't hurt you no more," I promised. I'm going to kill that son of a bitch. I swear to god I will kill him.
"Pwognish, (promise)" He quivered his lips.
