The Alpha's Mute [BXB]

33 | chapter thirty-three

Niklaus Wade

        I'm feeling frantic beyond belief. My head is throbbing and my breathing is no longer in my control. I clench the hair on my head tightly while I remain in a crouched position in front of my closet. I shut my eyes tightly, allowing my heartbeat to drift into my ears and make me feel calm. The reason why I am spazzing out so much is ridiculous when I put it into an outsiders perspective. I couldn't help it though. I'm going on a date...with Gnashton.

It's crazy to freak out about something like this when I literally had sex with him no more than two days ago, not to mention the next morning I woke up to his penis in my ass. Like the sane person I am, I tease the beast which resulted in a round two that was just as mind blowing as the very first time.

I don't think the spark would ever dull. His simple touches ignite a flame that doesn't seem to extinguish no matter how many days pass.

Thinking of him still gives me those butterflies that make me feel like I'm some lovesick puppy that can't get enough of it's new owner. I still can't believe that someone as amazing as Nash is my mate. If I could, I'd thank the moon goddess over and over again because my life isn't the hell it was before.

My self deprecating thoughts were beginning to melt away, though my suicidal thoughts lingered every now and then before bed but it wasn't as rampant as before.

My self loathing and pessimistic mindset was disappearing as if it were never there to begin with. Of course, I wasn't the most optimistic person on the planet and I'd never be like Hazel even if I tried but this was progress I never knew I'd be able to achieve. This is something new and I never want to let this go because I love this feeling.

I love the feeling of being able to look at myself and smile at the person I'm looking at. I love the feeling of waking up and not dreading what lies ahead in the day. I love the feeling of not wishing that I was no longer alive and breathing.

My right hand reaches up to lightly caress my mark on the left side of my neck that depicted two hands opposite of each other. Their first fingers touched gingerly while the crescent moon lingered behind it and underneath the entire portrait was 'Gnashton,' written in a beautiful cursive in the color black. It still burned but it was a fading sensation that I could only feel when I touched it.

When I first saw it, I was in complete awe then the overwhelming feeling of love filled me up entirely similarly to how Nash filled me two nights ago. Sorry, I keep mentioning that because it was an unforgettable moment. That night, I became wholeheartedly one with Nash as he became wholeheartedly mine.