17: not in that way

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17: CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

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17: CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

WITH a week left of school before term break, you'd think I'd be used to the pain and misery by now.

I've been counting down the days till I'm leaving back to Minnesota. It's always in the back of my mind, the thought that I have to see my father again, when I'm conversing with others. I haven't been to shake off this worrisome feeling that rattles me to the core.

A deep sigh escapes my lips as I put my textbooks back inside my locker. Everyday is the same old routine. Go to school, stare at Josh from afar, endure Taylor's snarky side comments and Martin's swift glares, and counting down the days till I see my father again. It's like I can't catch a break for a day. These past few days have put a weight
on my chest, and I wanted—no, needed, a distraction. Something, anything, to distract me from the emptiness in my chest.

The sound of bubbly laughter reaches my ears and I turn my head to see Annalise walking alongside Ethan up the hallway. His face is weary and etched into a deep frown, but that doesn't bother Annalise. No, not all. Instead, it encourages her to lay her hand on his arm and grin up at him.

"Jealous?"

Both of them pass by me without sparing me a second look and I puff out a breath and take a glance to Taylor standing beside the door of the bathrooms. "I'm not jealous," I mutter between clenched teeth. Perhaps I am jealous, but not for the reasons Taylor may think I am.

Taylor gives me one final look before turning her attention back to Crystal beside her. For a second, I close my eyes, open them once more, and shut my locker.

My footsteps are determined as they take me in the direction of the rambunctious cafeteria. Today, I had proposed to Ethan that we sit with one another at lunch as opposed to sitting with other people. That way, people will see that we actually spend time with each other and ideally this will diminish their nagging suspicion. And I'm talking about Taylor when I say 'people'.

I sit alone at a table and drum my fingers against it, awaiting Ethan's arrival. My eyes are traipsing around the cafeteria that's teeming with a horde of students. A few of them meet my eyes for a second, their glances coated in pity, yet they still look away and resume their conversations. I tell myself that if Ethan isn't here sometime in the next few minutes, I'm leaving and hanging out alone in the library.

At long last, Ethan drops his figure down in front of me with such a rueful sigh. He shoves his bag down beside him and buries his head in his hands, causing me to frown. "You alright?" I nod my head toward him.

Ethan hardly manages to give me a nod as he unscrews the cap of his stainless steel bottle and takes a swig of it. I knit my brows together and open my mouth to speak again, but before I could do anything along the lines of that, Annalise drops herself down beside Ethan with an everlasting grin on her face. "Hey guys," she says but is looking at Ethan, who doesn't even offer her a glance.

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