❝Maybe there's a whole bunch of impossible people waiting for me out there. Waiting to make me feel that same uncertainty again and again.❞
Allison Romero has never had any luck when it comes to finding love, or maintaining friends...or just about...
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a/n I find this chapter more sad than the last one, I might have shed a few tears here and there while writing it, but that's because I like to put myself in my characters shoes.
Y'all telling me you're going to read 50 long ass chapters and not bother to read the remaining two because you're mad at me? You guys have stuck through with me from the beginning of this book til the end, I'm obviously going to reward you with a good ending. You freaking deserve it!
Remember, there's always a rainbow after the rain or some cheesy shit like that. Basically, I promise there will be a happy ending. Just hang on y'all, don't give up hope now. We're so close to the end! (I should be a motivational speaker).
51: CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
I REALISED that in this world, heartbreak can be triggered by a lot things—the death of a loved one, losing a friend, disappointment and even betrayal. But it also comes from realising you lost something you never had.
That's the thing about love—it's tricky. Often it can be a pleasant and wonderful experience, but at some point it starts to get painful. The pain you encounter when you love someone you can't have is utterly gut wrenching, I don't think I'll ever feel pain worse than this.
Not even what Josh and Martin took from me hurt as much as this. Not the times when my father beat me black and blue. Not the times when my friends left me. Not receiving the love I gave out is what ultimately broke me. Nothing can some close to that, being left behind by the person I loved the most. How could he, of all people, do this to me? It would've hurt less if it came from someone else, but not Ethan. Not him. I gave him my heart, my body and my soul, only to find out the feelings aren't returned.
There was never an 'us'.
His intention was never to stay with me till the end. He never meant it when he told me that I mean everything to him. And worst of it all, he was mine—for a moment, just a moment, I could taste a future together. A future where I could be happy, safe and loved. And that is my ultimate downfall. Thinkingthat he was completely mine.
It's hard to let go of something you never had. The what could have been. If you think about it, we ended before we even had the chance to really start.
We've spent almost a year together, knowing every last detail about one another and now all that we've built together is just... gone. It's like there's a void in my heart of where he once was.
Some people say love hurts. It's not love that hurts—rather it is the memories and the expectations that come along with it that hurt. You love this person no matter what they do, and they don't return these feelings, and it is the expectation that hurts. The promised future that dissipated hurts.
