Caught In The Shadow [Jenlisa]

Chapter Twenty-Three -

Jennie

Day 9:

Dr. Kim doesn't ask me why I'm crying and I assume it's because she figures she knows. I would rather she ask me. "I know what you're thinking," I say, but it sounds like an accusation.

Dr. Kim clears her throat, "What am I thinking?"

"That Lisa is awful, that she's cruel and I'm stupid for loving her."

She shakes her head, somewhat wryly and responds in a way I perceive as clinical, "I don't think you're stupid at all. If anything, I think you're extraordinarily brave."

I scoff. "Right. I'm brave. Jeon said the same thing."

I hear the scratching of her pen as she makes more notes, "Well then, you have a second opinion now. You don't think your actions were brave?"

"Not especially. I think I just did what I had to do. Lisa's always saying a person has to do what they must in order to survive. Survival is the only thing that matters."

"You don't think surviving is brave?"

"I don't know. Do you think that guy who cut off his arm because he was trapped by a boulder was brave? It's just instinct."

"It's called fight or flight and one is certainly braver than the other, depending on the circumstances. Under your circumstances, what you did was very brave. You're here, Jennie. You survived."

"I wish you wouldn't call me that. I don't like it."

"Would you prefer, Miss Kim? Agent Jeon says you don't mind that as much."

"Yeah? What else did he say about me?"

She smiles coyly and suddenly I find myself suspicious of their relationship. I don't like the fact they talk about me. "We're required to discuss the case, Miss Kim. We exchange all notes and information as well as any insights we might have. I did tell you all of this."

"I know. What did he say about me?" I have a strange curiosity about Jeon that hasn't abated. I don't know what it is about him, but there's definitely something.

"He said you're a brat," she says, but her eyes smile. I smile a little too. Jeon didn't say that at all.

"Back to the subject. Why don't you think you're brave?"

I sigh, "I don't know. I guess...I'm here and that's what Lisa wants." An uncomfortable silence settles between us. I'm lost in my thoughts. What, Lisa, wants. I thought I did everything she wanted, I tried my very best to make her happy, but in the end...I guess it doesn't matter.

"You keep referring to her in the present tense, why?"

I can see her face in my mind's eye, so beautiful, so sad. There's blood smudged across her cheek, but I don't care. I'm not squeamish any more. It's the face of the woman I love, the only one I've ever loved and it's difficult to imagine there will ever be another. I wipe more tears away. That bastard. "It's easier," I finally answer, "I don't like the idea she's gone."

Kim nods. "Go ahead, tell me what happened next."

"Nothing much really, after breakfast she helped me get dressed. Then she tied me to the bed, gagged me, and left for a few hours." I know where she went now – she went to the bank, but I don't know if I should tell Kim or not. Then again, Jeon already knows about the money. "She went to the bank," I add. Kim flips through her paperwork and writes something down.

"Why isn't Jeon here? Why the both of you at different times?"

"Agent Jeon and I have different job descriptions. He's interested in the case; I'm interested in your well-being as well as the case."