Caught In The Shadow [Jenlisa]

Epilogue 3

- WWW -

I dreamt that night.

Jiyong looked up at me from a table. He was shaking from fear. His face was bruised and bloody. He spoke calmly.

"Me for the girl?"

A ripple of love was fast on the heels of my shame. The feeling was quickly overrun by an old anger, a rage that had kept me alive when death had been a far better option.

"No. Not just for the girl. You... made me love you. You betrayed me."

Jiyong laughed, loud and rich, before his laughter devolved into gurgling coughs.

"Betrayal again. It's always betrayal with you, Lisa." His words sounded in my mind as though he were flesh and blood again. "You lie, girl. I didn't make you love me. One cannot force love. What you gave, I earned."

I held a knife in my hand; I knew I did. However, as is the nature of dreams, it disappeared once I tried to plunge it into his thigh. I had so much anger, so much rage, and nowhere to put it. Jiyong found it more than amusing and it only fueled my hatred.

"I gave you all you earned when I put a bullet in your heart!"

Jiyong coughed up blood as he laughed.

"You are the person I raised." Slowly, his laughter subsided and he looked on me fondly. "I know you washed my body. I know you buried me in accordance with the law. I know you wept for me."

His words wounded me despite knowing there was no way for him to know I did those things. Worse, it hurt knowing they were true.

"Why won't you die?" I asked with venom. Jiyong smiled wickedly.

"You can't kill me, Lisa. Not again. I'm all you know. I am your mother. I am your father. I am your brother. I am your friend. I'll always be here. You'll never be rid of me."

As much as I loathed it, I was free to weep in my dreams and I did.

"How could you have done all those things to me? You stole my childhood. You stole my destiny."

Jiyong, suddenly unfettered, rolled onto his side and sat up. The bruises on his face had healed and clothing had magically appeared on his body.

"That's not what's bothering you, Lisa. I betrayed you, yes, but that's not why you killed me, is it?" I couldn't look at him while I processed my shame. "You would have killed me anyway. You would have killed me because it's the only way I would have let the girl go. You would have betrayed me, Lisa. We are not so different, and that's what eats at you." He raised a hand and ruffled my hair as he used to when I was young. My chest ached.

I pushed him with all my strength, knocking him backward over the table and onto the floor. I leapt into the air and landed on top of him. I punched him. Repeatedly. My fists felt ineffectual; I couldn't get the force I required to beat him to death. Switching tactics, I held his neck in my hands and tried to squeeze the life out of him.

Jiyong's maniacal gaze fell on me.

"I am a god here! You've made it so."

"Just fucking die! Die! Die! I hate you! I wish you were alive so I could kill you all over again!" I dug my fingers into his eyes, growing hard as blood oozed onto my fingers. Jiyong tried to fight me this time. His hands pushed against me, his legs flailed, and his body twisted as he tried to buck me off. "I can kill you, Jiyong. You're not a god. I feel nothing for you."

Jiyong's body went still under me.

"Master?" I heard a voice behind me. I turned and saw Jennie. She was wearing a white robe that reached the floor. Her hair was loose and unruly. She wore a slave collar at her throat. A wave of overwhelming guilt slammed into me.